What funny articles are there in Chongqing dialect?

[Air ticket] The airport automatic broadcast keeps broadcasting: "Chongqing Airlines 1000 1 flight, beijing beijing, fare 10 yuan, no change, please show me your monthly ticket." [Security check] There are a lot of people, some carrying snakeskin bags, some carrying live chickens and ducks, and the security inspector is sweating: "Backpackers, you have to pay for tickets, you are overweight and old." "Why? Last time, two sacks of potatoes made me too old. " Another passenger leaned in and said, "Come on, brothers, have a cigarette and look at my live chicken bag. If there is no room in the cabin to tie them to the wings of the plane, these balls will be old. Anyway, they can fly by themselves, without consuming the oil of the plane ... "[Boarding] The flight attendants are all wearing red embroidered seals, holding small flags and holding up big speakers:" What are you squeezing? People lined up. You made fun of me, old man. You squeezed Hazare with your head ... Take out the ticket, and if you don't buy a ticket to tease me, you will be fined ten yuan! Bo, this is owned by Captain Wang's uncle. It's old. It's hard to cut ... "The plane climbed to the height of 80 stories and circled over the city. The captain opened the hatch and shouted, "hey, the one on the 80 th floor, Beijing can't leave, it's ten yuan each!" There is room! Come on, stop. Haha, someone jumped over! " [Flying] A child needs to pee. The stewardess said, "The toilet is full of potatoes. I was stunned. Let me open the door for you. ...