Humorous jokes in life

Humorous jokes in life (selected 16 articles)

It is the normal state of life to have both suffering and joy. If you are absolutely unhappy, just use some jokes to spice things up. That way I’m so happy! Below I have compiled humorous jokes in life for everyone. I hope it will be helpful to everyone. Welcome to read!

Humorous Jokes in Life Part 1

I eat The taste is strong and I like more salt.

One day, my roommate asked me: What does pin mean?

I was too lazy to pay attention to him (he likes to ask strange questions), and casually said: It means eating.

The roommate nodded while thinking, as if that was the case.

A few days later, my girlfriend came to the dormitory to chat with me, while my roommate was lying on the bed reading a book.

When I talked about taste with my girlfriend, she asked me: What is your taste?

As soon as my girlfriend finished speaking, my roommate threw down the book, sat up and answered. : He has always had strong taste.

I suddenly turned blue. Humorous Jokes in Life Part 2

I am not fat, but my legs are thick.

Last weekend I took my husband shopping. When I was tired, my husband said, "Let's take a rest. My legs are getting thin."

I took the opportunity to ask. Husband: "Do you think my legs will become thinner if I walk so much on weekends? Just like a car, running consumes fuel. I walk so much, how much fat do I have to burn?"

As I said this, I looked at my legs, as if they had lost a lot of weight.

My husband glanced at me and said thoughtfully: "You belong to the kind of car with low fuel consumption." Humorous Jokes in Life 3

Many years ago, a car in Africa A wealthy man carefully built a new private bathroom - the only bathroom in Africa at that time with hot and cold water pipes. The first person invited to use the bathroom was a British lady visiting Africa.

The lady went into the bathroom, turned on the hot water pipe, then turned on the cold water pipe, adjusted the water temperature, and jumped into the bathtub. Suddenly she saw a small hole in the back wall, and an eye in the hole was looking at her. She immediately got dressed and went behind the wall. It turned out that there was an old man standing there, with two buckets beside him - a hot water bucket and a cold water bucket, looking into the small hole with his eyes.

The lady walked up to the old man and scolded: "Why are you watching me take a shower?" The old man turned around and explained politely: "I'm sorry, madam, the master wants me to be responsible for cleaning these two pipes. Pour cold water or hot water into the bottle. If I don’t look at you, how would I know that you are going to turn the faucet?” Humorous Jokes in Life Chapter 4

Retired cadre Lao Wang suffered from a cold. Afraid of cold, go to the township hospital for diagnosis and treatment. The doctor prescribed him a heater.

My wife was surprised and asked: "Why did you buy this thing?"

Lao Wang said: "The doctor said I had a cold and should pay attention to keeping warm, so I turned on this heater. "Don't worry, I've seen the invoice, it's 'Western medicine'."

After hearing this, my wife kept saying, "The rural hospital is really good, the weather is getting hot soon, we need an electric fan!" Next time I’ll talk about having a high fever. "Humorous Jokes in Life 5"

A few drunkards got together and talked about what wine was.

Boss: Wine is my wife, I can’t live without her for the rest of my life.

The second child: They are my ancestors. I will worship them when I see them.

The third child: It’s gasoline. I’m a car. My car can’t be driven without alcohol.

The fourth child touched his swollen face: Alas, wine is like a mountain of five fingers! Every time I come home drunk, my wife will reward me with a mountain of five fingers.

Humorous Jokes in Life Chapter 6

Husband: My butt hurts these days, I have hemorrhoids!

Wife: From the time I have known you, you have never suffered from major or minor illnesses. !I think you’ve been like this all your life!

Husband is angry: Don’t look down on me! I think my life is very meaningful! It’s complete!

Wife is disdainful: Tell me, I’ll listen Listen!

Husband: I am a young man with hemorrhoids, so my life is very meaningful! A life without hemorrhoids is not a complete life! Humorous jokes in life 7

There are many discounts for buying a car at the auto show, such as free floor mats, free seat covers, free car film...

My husband and wife were eyeing a car at the exhibition stand.

Husband: Will you give me a car film when I buy this car?

Salesperson: Yes!

My wife took a look at the beautiful and enchanting model next to the car. I said to my husband fiercely: You dare to ask for it! Go home and see how I clean up your life. Humorous Jokes Chapter 8

My wife is dressed very beautifully today.

An old man selling strawberries stared at it for a long time.

The wife said proudly: The strawberry seller keeps looking at me! Am I very attractive today?

The husband disagreed: Really? The old man looked at you as if he was You didn’t give me money to buy someone else’s stuff yesterday! Humorous Jokes in Life Chapter 9

Female A: Lily’s husband died in a car accident yesterday!

Female B: Really? This is a big blow to Lily!

Female A: Yes!

Female B: Then she cried a lot, right?

Female A : Lily didn’t cry at all at the scene of the car accident!

Female B: I really can’t see how strong her heart is.

Female A: No, Lily told me that she can’t cry! When she cries, there are more wrinkles on her face, which makes her look older! 10 Humorous Jokes in Life

Female: You If you post unhealthy content again, I will drag you into the blacklist!

Male: Take it off, take it off!

Female: Just take it off! Humorous jokes in life 11

Please wait a second

"What does one hundred million yuan mean to you?" A man asked God.

“A penny.” God answered.

"So what does one hundred million years mean to you?" The man asked again.

"One second." God replied,

"Oh, God, please give me a penny!" The man begged God.

"Please wait a second." God said. Humorous Jokes in Life Chapter 12

Super Funny Archer’s Pregnancy

There was a conversation at the Archer’s house

“Go wash the dishes, it’s time today You've washed the dishes."

"Something seems to have happened. I'm cold and I don't want to wash the dishes!"

"Get out! Stop pretending and go wash it!=! "

"I...I feel like I'm pregnant. I've been eating sour food lately!"

"Damn, you just said something was wrong, why did you do it again right away? Are you pregnant?”

“Is what they say true?”

“Archer, I’m warning you, if you pretend to be a girl again, be careful and I’ll whip you!!” Archer’s wife Humorous Jokes in Life Chapter 13

That day, I found a novel - "Red Rock" at a used bookstall. When I brought it home, my wife read it first. Unexpectedly, my wife read it for only a few days, and all the pages fell apart.

Yesterday I asked my wife: "My "Red Rock" was thrown away after you saw it a few times." My wife was puzzled: "Your beauty was thrown away after I saw it a few times. Lost it? ... Are you saying that your confidante was separated because of me? ..." I felt dumbfounded: "Oh... no. I mean, the book "Red Rock" I bought recently. , the pages of the book fall apart after you read it a few times.

"

The wife woke up from a dream, and suddenly bent over with a smile: "Oh - that's because the quality of your book is so poor. I just turned it over lightly, and it all fell apart. . "Humorous Jokes in Life Chapter 14

Pig's monthly salary is 5K

Pig's monthly salary is 5K, and he plans to use 200,000 to build a nest. The wolf does not allow it, saying that building it without permission is an illegal construction. It is allowed to buy from the bastard.

The bastard is engaged in engineering. He first bribes the wolf with 200,000 yuan to obtain the development rights, then uses 500,000 yuan to buy the land from the wolf, and spends 100,000 yuan to build the pig nest. The Rat asked the Pig for 2 million yuan.

The Rat lent the Pig 2 million Yuan, with interest of 3 million, and paid it off in 20 years. The Pig family worked for the Rat for 20 years and all earned. Without money, only the pigs lose money, and they don’t even dare to give birth to cubs.

There are fewer and fewer pigs. The wolf thinks that if this continues, there will be no meat for everyone, so he regulates it. 15 Humorous Jokes in Life. >

The teacher speaks to the students before school

The Education Committee will come to the school to inspect tomorrow. You must wear school uniforms tomorrow. Remember, you must write a note if something happens.

Xiao Ming is not good at school. When studying, he always wrote in big white letters. He really couldn't go to school because of something that day, so he wrote a note and asked his classmates to send it to the teacher. When the teacher saw it, he was horrified, but the full text of the note was as follows: "Hello, teacher! I'm here this morning. Go to my dad's work to see him off, and I will wear mourning clothes to go to school in the afternoon." Why should I go to school? Such a big thing happened to his family. The teacher quickly sent several class cadres to his house to show concern. Attached I'm so sorry. I went to his house and found nothing, but later I learned that it was all because of the false pretense. You must know that farewell and bell farewell should not be used indiscriminately. How can filial piety and school uniform be the same?!

A woman called the fire alarm. She said urgently on the phone: "Fight the fire, put out the fire!" "Where is it?" the firefighter asked. "It's at my house!" "I mean where is the fire?" the firefighter asked again. "In the kitchen!" "I know, but how can we get to your house?" the firefighter asked anxiously. "Oh my god, don't you have a firetruck?" Humorous Jokes in Life 16

Buying underwear for my girlfriend

In the university dormitory, there were two boys who were very good brothers.

After a few days, one of the boys made a girlfriend, a beautiful girl in the same class. .

One day, this boy bought some underwear for his girlfriend online.

After sending it, the boy inspected the goods in the dormitory. When another boy saw it, he said: "Doesn't she have a pair of these underwear?" ;