The phenomenon of flash marriage and flash separation is becoming more and more common. Is this free and easy or sloppy?

Marriage is a besieged city. People outside want to go in and people inside want to come out.

So the people outside went in and came out again.

Before, I also thought about what marriage is and the value of a paper engagement.

Obviously, this is not love. Love never needs a paper engagement as a guarantee.

Belonging? Family life can provide a sense of belonging. Let's live together. Why do you have to get married?

Isn't that love? Not exactly. I thought about it for a long time.

Perhaps it is because love in this world is too scarce, feelings lack the necessary means to maintain, and society needs stable family relations, so marriage was born and marriage was supported by law.

But seeing how many old couples have taken care of each other all their lives, I can hardly deny that what I see in them is a kind of love.

Now I know something. Maybe marriage is really a hard means to limit the restless heart when you are young. Young, fickle, unwilling to be bound, prone to accidents. When people are old, their hearts are tired and their bodies are old. Maybe you just want a home.

The combination of two people is a process of mutual dislike and tolerance. If you don't have the heart to die, the country doesn't want you to die like this, so there is such a thing as marriage. Coupled with the distribution of divorced property and the capital injection into the family by both parties before marriage, well, if I had been seriously married, I'm afraid I wouldn't have divorced at will.

Your parents worked hard to give you a suite for most of your life, and you were accidentally divided into half, which made you feel very sorry.

But how can it be serious?

Qian Zhongshu said that to get married, two people should travel first.

Yes, a trip, it is very important to see character and temperament. What car to choose, what to eat and where to live along the way, from the details of the trip, is enough to spy on a person's inner world.

Jiang Yang quoted a sentence to describe her marriage with Zhong Shu:

I don't want to get married until I meet him. After meeting him, I don't want to marry anyone else.

If love is the cornerstone of marriage, but love is too scarce, even illusory.

Then the marriage between Qian Zhongshu and Jiang Yang may be a model. Incomparably harmonious temperament, thoughts and cognition. * * * in the spiritual world can eliminate contradictions caused by daily chores.

Qian Zhongshu is not a suitable partner for life. He doesn't listen to things outside the window and hardly cares about trivial things. Jiang Yang does everything. But Jiang Yang is willing, and even enjoys it.

If marriage is a kind of mutual tolerance, is love a kind of tolerance as enjoyment?

Wang Xiaobo said: Do you know what I cherish most in this world? That is my character, that is, my freedom of thought. I put down my sword and gun on this issue-that is, I asked you to transform and influence it.

Love, or marriage, is necessarily a process in which two people influence each other.

So in the final analysis, why are there so many flash marriages and divorces now? First of all, I can say for sure that there is no love between anyone who is divorced by flash marriage.

I can't even influence each other, let alone talk about love.

Of course, if there is, there is. ......

Moreover, anyone who broke up after a flash marriage did not give the other party enough consideration before marriage, whether it was suitable for life, whether the temperament was compatible and so on.

It suddenly occurred to me that in today's blind date, how many flash marriages are left, and parents are hard to blame? Is it entirely your own will to combine for the sake of combining? Not really. How many of them are due to the pressure of marriage and childbirth?

At the same time, people who get married and leave soon are really more free and easy. No matter what their family circumstances are, they can easily get married and divorce. At least ideologically, they are free and easy enough, not fettered by money, and regard marriage as a house, completely ignoring the binding force of marriage.

In addition, marriage is legally binding. If you want to say yes, it is. If you want to say no, divorce is a means to resist marriage. Marriage never forces a relationship to continue. Just to maintain legal cohabitation and avoid family disorder.

I don't even have the most basic feelings for each other They don't want to tolerate each other's ailments, nor do they want to control their own shortcomings. Being able to treat patience as enjoyment is love. And if you don't accept it at all, then such a cohabitation relationship is nonsense. To put it inappropriately, we can share weal and woe without emotional foundation, just like fair-weather friends.

Some digressions:

How many decades of father and son turned against each other and mother and daughter became enemies is still common, the reliability of feelings is being tested more and more, and the marriage based on feelings is naturally more precarious.

It's rare to meet a very congenial person in my life. No matter from which point of view, our choice is just to pick one from a pile of rotten apples. But this is just the beginning. If you choose correctly, those two rotten apples will eventually take root and blossom.

In many marriages I have seen, I feel more and more that marriage is like a process from losing sweetness to pain, becoming more and more bitter and finally getting out. Although I saw love in many old couples, what I didn't say was that what I saw in old couples was a kind of life inertia. What is the inertia of life? It's like my dad's foot cloth, a little shabby. We all told him to change it, and my mother bought him a new one. But he still used that rag.

-this is obviously not a feeling.