What are the popular jokes?

1. Last night, my grandson invited me to eat mutton kebabs! I ate three kidneys when I was happy! When I finally checked out, he turned around and asked me if I had any change. I said yes. Then he asked me for two hundred-dollar bills.

2. A Fujian native complained angrily about the 20 15 CCTV Spring Festival Gala: Today's Lotus Spring Festival Gala is nothing but plain hair in Hu Jianren. It's so confusing. Not stupid at all. Are castles in the air! Remembering a few days ago 10, I went to Shandong from the former state to wear shoes, and Lao Si asked the whole class to introduce children's shoes. I said that the weather in Qianzhou is gray and there are a lot of seafood, so it is better to mix urine. Children's shoes always make fun of me. I really want to kick them. It doesn't matter if you think about it, but gold will be spent sooner or later!

3. Cook is gay and has been close to Ma Yun recently. Does it mean cooperation? Will it last for a long time and give birth to a Massek?

4. I once took the elevator with something in my hand. There happened to be a girl in the elevator. She's going to the 20th floor. I said to her, "Beauty, press the seventh floor for me." Maybe my smile is not sweet, maybe my sister is very upset today. She rolled her eyes at me and said, "I have no hands!" " "I put down my things and walked over and pressed it. 7 said, "Look at this, I have hands! Also very flexible! "Then I pressed all the floors above the seventh floor.

5. If your blind date doesn't have a job, but she is dressed in fashion, in good shape, in luxury, with a designer bag and a 6, congratulations to your young man. When you win the lottery, she can take any position.

6. My father scolded me this morning. I'm almost 30, and I haven't achieved anything yet. All you do is play, see who is in other people's homes and who runs a company with you. I said casually, you and Ma Yun are still big, look at others. Dad was silent and stared at me. Should I run?

I went to pick up my wife from work yesterday. I ride a motorcycle. I saw my daughter-in-law standing there from a distance, and there were many other female colleagues. So I wanted to float over and pose handsomely. As a result, a dog accidentally fell and ate shit. that this is not the important question. I got up and called my wife. Here I am. Idiot came to me with a puzzled face!

I bought candy for my two daughters and put it aside. I just took some food from a bag and I'm going to school. Both of them were fighting upstairs, saying that the other was greedy for thieves. Should I stand up?

9. Drinking with my buddies, we both drank a little too much. When we went back, my buddy insisted on driving by himself and said no problem. On the way, he suddenly stopped and looked around. I asked him, "What's the matter? Can't find the direction? " "No, it's not that bad. I just can't find the steering wheel. " Dude, answer

10, my roommate bought a dress on Taobao a few days ago, and the seller said that the above picture was well received, and immediately returned five yuan. So my roommate put on clothes and took five photos confidently and beautifully. Today, the seller returned ten yuan to his friend and asked his roommate to delete the picture.