Who has all the classic jokes! ~?

Do you know why ugly people have priority? Why? Because, as the saying goes, I'll tell you the truth first.

At that time, Yu Gong moved mountains and angered the Jade Emperor. He sent two gods to sit on two mountains, Taihang Mountain and the King of Wu. The foolish old man tried his best, but he still couldn't get rid of the two gods, so he turned to Zhisou for help. Zhisou smiled, presented a treasure, waved it twice, and saw two gods being lifted into the air and taken away. Yu Gong exclaimed, "It's amazing. What is this baby? " Zhishuo: "This is coffee, which can refresh you."

the Tang Dynasty

Tang Priest: "Do you know the name of the iron ring on Wukong's head?" Pig: "Hericium erinaceus … mushroom?"

Song dynasty; surname

One night, Bao and Zhan Zhao's guards took a walk in the garden after dinner. At this time, Zhan Zhao suddenly asked Bao Zheng: "My Lord, I have always been curious about one thing, that is, how did the crescent moon come from your head?" Bao Zheng replied: "First, I accidentally cut this crescent scar when I was a child. Second, you are looking at the real moon now, and Lao Tzu is behind you! "

My girlfriend went to the party and lost a handbag, so she spoiled her boyfriend: "Now I just need Zheng to save me." Boyfriend said: "How to recover? Send you to the west with a dog's head spear? Ha ha ha. "

"This word is really well written." "This is written by Xin Qiji." "How do I know what day it is today? Probably on Sunday. "

I said I liked Li Bai's poems better, and Lu You was so angry that my family couldn't surf the Internet.

When you are not sure what to call a girl, you should pay attention to her hands, because in a strange city, thin hands are called Lori.

Teach you how to hook up with a girl studying medicine, and you can just say I'm sick.

A shy boy asked a girl, what kind of boy do you like? The girl said: hit it off, and the boy asked with a sad face: Can't the head be flat?

Downstairs in the community, I scribbled on a Geely car with a marker, and the owner hit me. Owner: "What do you draw?" Me: "Nothing, just good luck."

A passerby stopped a taxi and asked the driver, how long does it take from here to the airport? Driver: It will take a long time. Passerby: How long will it take at least? Driver: It takes longer to ride a horse.

Butterfly says to her friend ant: You are so boring that it is difficult to find a girlfriend. Have you thought about the future? The ant replied: Yes, but the queen ant despises me!

A poisonous snake and a python are discussing whose hunting method is more efficient.

Viper: "I just need to bite each other, and in a period of time it will gradually lose its ability to act and finally die."

The python smiled: "That will have to wait for the effective time. I just need to entangle each other and I can kill it immediately. "

The viper was furious: "You pester it, you bitch!" " "

Everything can be worn, but not around the waist.