Classic joke: uncle, congratulations, this is to open a branch.

The husband said to the daughter behind the door, "Baby, open the door for me!" The girl shook her head: "I won't open it until my mother comes back." My husband shouted helplessly at me watching TV: "Wife! here she comes again ! Hurry up! " I shook my head and jumped out of the window and walked to the door: "Hi! Baby, I'm back! " ......

When I got home this evening, there came a distant relative at home. My dad said, "This is your cousin, from the northeast. Say hello." Me: "Good uncle!" Relatives are very enthusiastic: "Oh, this girl is really handsome, her skin is really white, and her voice is soft. She must have a head and a figure, and she must find a good husband's family in the future!" This is the first time that someone has praised me like this since I was a child. I was very excited and answered loudly: "Uncle, I am a man!" "

In math class, the teacher talked about the proof of a theorem and wrote a whole blackboard. I don't know where it got stuck, but I couldn't prove it. I just stood there and stared at it alone. The class was silent for ten minutes. Suddenly, a boy said, Who pressed pause?

The first time I took my daughter-in-law and my son back to their hometown in the countryside, the daughter-in-law saw the boundless wheat and said happily to her son: Look, son, the garlic in the field grows really well ... The second time, the daughter-in-law saw the green rice in the field and said happily to her son: Look, son, the wheat in the field grows really well ... I said, daughter-in-law, can I express my opinion?

My friend went on a blind date today. The beauty asked him if it was difficult to take a taxi today because of the heavy snow last night. My friend said I drove here. The beauty asked again, is it difficult to clean the snow on the snowmobile in the morning? My friend said that I have a set of snow cleaning equipment, which is very simple! Then the sister said that the two were not suitable, and the friend looked awkward.

During the summer vacation, I was helping my uncle's shop. He asked me to clean the plaque at the door. As a result, I accidentally dropped it and smashed it in half. Just as my uncle was about to hit me angrily, I quickly said, Congratulations, uncle, this is a branch. My uncle touched my head approvingly. The next day, my uncle and his wife divorced, and the shop was divided equally. . .