The kind that asks jokes and laughs. Must be praised. thank you

A North Korean said that North Korea once ruled the Central Plains. I usually don't watch the news, only the comments. When the Shanghai buddy speaks, first copy his words intact. "All wet, five billion years ago, South Korea ruled the universe, four billion years ago, retreated to the Milky Way, three billion years ago, retreated to the solar system, two billion years ago, withdrew from Mars, and the earth one billion years ago. . . . . Three thousand years in China, one thousand years in Korea, fifty years ago, now Korea, ten years later, Seoul, twenty years later, only half an acre of land is left, thirty years later. . . See that kennel? Is that Korea?

On the plane, a passenger got airsick, and the stewardess repeatedly reminded him, "Don't throw up on the plane, don't throw up on the plane, I'll get you a bucket." Soon, the bucket is full. The stewardess went to get the plastic belt. I threw up all over the plane when I came back. The stewardess was very angry, but before the stewardess could speak, the passenger said, "I think the bucket is full. I'm afraid it will spill." I took a sip and the whole plane vomited! "

A man was about to eat a roast chicken when a dog climbed onto the table, so the man said to the dog, "I will do whatever you want with this chicken!" " "So the dog licked the chicken's ass.

A county magistrate with a strong accent went to the village to give a report: "rabbit, shrimp, pig tail!" No pickles, pickles are too expensive! ! 」?

Attention, comrades and villagers! Stop talking and have a meeting now! ! )?

After the county magistrate finished speaking, the host said, "Sausages and pickles, please!"! 」?

Now, please talk to the township head! )?

The township head said, "Rabbit, the dog ate today's meal, and everyone is a big jerk!" 」?

Comrades, that's enough for today. We are all big bowls! )?

No kimchi, I'll pick up a piece of shit and lick it for you ...?

Don't talk, I'll tell you a story ...? An officer said, "One class steals eggs (bombs) and the other class kills chickens (shooting). I will make porridge for you (demonstration)! "

(Busy police station)

One day, the new york police station received a report call.

"report! My neighbor hid marijuana in his firewood! "

"Thank you for your report," said the policeman. "We will investigate immediately!"

The police will get there in an hour. They chopped up every piece of wood with an axe for inspection, but found no marijuana and had to retreat.

After a while, the phone at home rang: "Is the police here?"

"Of course I do." He replied.

"Great!" The informant said, "Now it's your turn to call the police. My vegetable field is going to turn over. "

(rabbit and carrot)

One day, a rabbit came to the shop and asked the boss, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head and said, "No."

The rabbit whooshed away.

The next day, the rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shook his head angrily: "No."

The rabbit whooshed away.

On the third day, the rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have any carrots?"

The boss shouted to the rabbit, "No! If you want carrots again, I'll pull out your teeth with pliers! "

The rabbit whooshed away.

The fourth day, the rabbit came to the shop again and asked, "Boss, do you have pliers?"

The boss said, "No."

The rabbit then asked, "Do you have any carrots?"

(Mushrooms? )

? A patient in a mental hospital, wearing black clothes and holding a black umbrella every day, squatted at the hospital gate. The doctor thinks that to cure him, we must start with understanding him. So, the doctor was also dressed in black clothes and under a black umbrella, squatting there with the patient. They squatted for a month without saying a word, and the patient finally said to the doctor, "Excuse me, are you a mushroom, too?"

(check the gas! )

? Lao Xia went to the bird market and found a parrot priced at 3 yuan money. He asked the seller, "Why is this parrot so cheap?" The seller replied, "My parrot is stupid! I've been teaching for a long time, and now I'll say ~ ~ "Who is it?" "Old summer thought, cheap anyway, I bought it.

? When he got home at night, Lao Xia spent the whole night teaching the parrot to say other words, but in the morning, the parrot just said, "Who is it?" Lao Xia had to lock the door and go to work.

? After a while, a gas collector came and knocked at the door. The parrot inside replied, "Who is it?"

? Gas collector: "gas detector."

? Parrot: "Who is it?"

? "Check the gas."

? "Who is it?"

? "Check the gas."

? ~~~

? In the evening, Lao Xia came back. I saw a man lying on the ground in front of my house, foaming at the mouth. Lao Xia was surprised: "Hey! Who is this? " I heard the parrot answer, "gas inspector!" " “； lol； lol； lol；