Do you have any super hilarious jokes?

Abo’s story PART3 Two days later, Abo went back to see the doctor. This time the doctor did not prescribe any medicine. He only said: "Drink more water." As soon as Abo got home, he lay on the bed and did not move. When my daughter-in-law saw that something was wrong, she stepped forward to ask. Her father-in-law said that the doctor asked me to drink more water (good news) 1. When I was in high school, after class, my classmates rushed outside to buy lunch boxes. In order to arrive before others, a girl took a shortcut, but the manhole cover in front of her was not properly covered and she fell down! After a while, she climbed up on the edge of the well. She was very embarrassed. A group of junior high school children walked by in horror. She suddenly got wise and said while climbing: Hey! It’s so difficult to cultivate...

2. This is a real thing that happened to my friend... Once, he had dinner at his girlfriend’s house. At that time, it was just him, his girlfriend and his girlfriend. There are three fathers of friends. At this time, a program teaching senior disco dancing was being played on TV, and the uncle who was leading the dance looked very BT. At this time, his girlfriend jokingly said to him: "Hey?! Why does this man look so like your dad? Haha." At that time, my friend was eating a big meal. Without thinking, he yelled loudly: "Looks like your dad!!!"... After that, there was silence in the room for 3 minutes.

3. Once while playing mahjong on a hot day, the power suddenly went out, so I had to buy candles to continue playing. After half an hour, the heat became unbearable, and one person said: "Let's turn on the electric fan." , it’s so hot.”

Another person said: “Don’t turn it on, it will blow out the candle.”

4. There was a child sitting at the door, playing. The middle-aged man asked him: "Is your father at home?"

The child replied: "At home", and the middle-aged man went to ring the doorbell. After ringing for a long time, no one opened the door.

So the man asked angrily: "Why don't you open the door?"

The little boy replied: "How did I know, this is not my home!"

5 When I was a child, I just learned to ride a bicycle. I ran out onto the street before I knew how to ride a bicycle. I saw an old man walking in front of me. I thought I was going to bump into him, so I yelled, don’t move, don’t move. The old man stood there without moving. As a result, I turned around and bumped into him. The old man stood up and said, "You are aiming." It was so embarrassing at the time.

6. When I was a child, I just learned to ride a bicycle. Before I knew how to ride a bicycle, I ran to the street. I saw an old man walking in front of me. I thought I was going to bump into him, so I yelled, don’t move, don’t move. The old man stood there without moving. As a result, I turned around and bumped into him. The old man stood up and said, "You are aiming." It was so embarrassing at the time.

7. One time when I was shopping, I felt a stomachache, so I walked into the "119 all-you-can-eat hot pot restaurant" on the corner. I wanted to borrow a toilet, but I searched all over the first floor. I couldn't find it, so I ran to the second floor. The second floor was still being renovated and there was nothing else. However, I found a toilet door with the words "Fault repair, please do not use."

I couldn't help it anymore, no matter what, there was no one around, so I took off my pants and squatted down towards the toilet, crackling... it felt so good!

After finishing, I went downstairs only to find no one there. It was strange. The downstairs was full of people just before Zhengzhi’s dinner time, so why was it so empty all of a sudden? Even the waiter and receptionist were gone...

So I approached the bar and asked, "Is there anyone there? Why is there no one?"

At this time , I saw a male waiter emerge from under the bar and said: "Damn it! You were not here when the shit fell from the ceiling and hit the electric fan. You are lucky." I'm sweating

8. It was the first time I went to my father-in-law’s house. I didn’t want to go, but my girlfriend forced me to go. So I went to eat, and my father-in-law poured me some wine. I didn’t want to drink it, but my father-in-law said that young people should drink more. It didn't matter, I had to drink a little. After the meal, with the wine at the bottom, the restraint at the beginning disappeared. I took off the pistol that my father-in-law hung on the wall to play with. It was a QSZ92 semi-automatic pistol, which was better than my own sidearm. Mine was a Type 54 7.62mm pistol.

I took my father-in-law's gun, aimed at his kitten and pulled the trigger. There was a crisp gunshot, and the cat was dead. 55555555~

I fainted. The bullet was bored. Father-in-law, are you okay at home? Son, what are you doing with boring bullets for your pistol?

9. Yesterday, I was shopping with my wife, and a beautiful woman walked past me.

My wife said, “Hubby, that girl is pretty good, and the clothes she wears are also pretty good.”

My wife said: p>

Me: "I'll take off his clothes. The clothes are yours and mine."

MM seemed to have heard this and looked back at us for a few seconds.

10. Once after school, my deskmate asked me to go to dinner with her. Before leaving, she kindly reminded me to "go to the bathroom." I was probably just thinking about eating at the time, so I blurted out "I "I'm not hungry"... I looked back and saw that my deskmate was laughing so hard that he was squatting on the floor~

11. One day, I passed by a kindergarten and overheard a little boy asking a little girl next to him, "What is life?" ?”

I was surprised, how old are you? ! Have you started thinking about such a profound question? ! Tsk tsk tsk! Someone has taught me this...

At this time, the little girl said loudly: "Auntie said, ginseng is a Chinese herbal medicine!"

12. One day , Little Leith God almost fell out of the world while flying in a hot air balloon. A man who was skiing laughed when he saw it.

The little God of Leith was not angry. Instead, he looked at the man with a smile and said, "Have you ever heard that snowflakes can crush people to death?"

The man said, "No. Maybe..." Before he finished speaking, he heard a rumble from the snowy mountains above his head...

13. A man went to the supermarket to choose a skirt for his wife.

The sales girl asked him: "What is your wife's waist size?"

"I don't know." The man replied.

"However," the man concentrated for a while and then said, "I have a 20-inch color TV at home. When my wife stood in front of it, the entire screen was covered."

14. One day, a bookworm went on a long journey without reaching any village or shop. He finally found a house on the roadside, knocked on the door and asked to stay overnight.

But there was only one woman in that house and she didn’t dare to open the door. She said at the door: "There is no one in my house, so I can't let you stay."

The nerd said: "No one? Are you not a human being?"

"No! I It means that there is no man at home, so I don’t dare to keep you overnight.”

“I am a man!”

15. When I was in junior high school, I suddenly heard someone in the back row. There was a loud noise, and the whole class turned around and saw a classmate behind him with red and swollen lips (resembling Tony Leung Chiu Wai's appearance), with many plastic fragments stuck on it~~~ It turned out that this student was idle in class, biting a lighter and playing, but unexpectedly The quality is so bad, it exploded,

16. When taking the elevator, the man was surprised to find a naked woman in the elevator.

The woman rolled her eyes at him and cursed:

‘What are you looking at? What’s there to see! 』

『Oh! I just wanted to say that my wife also has a leather jacket like this. 』

17. One day, the husband went to help his wife buy underwear. Because his husband has never bought underwear for him, he doesn’t know which size to buy. After talking to the clerk for a long time, the clerk could only describe it as fruit.

Staff: Papaya?Mr.: No!No!

Staff: Apple?!Mr.: No, no, no!

Staff: Lianwu?!Mr.: A little smaller...

Staff: Egg?! The gentleman said happily: Yes! Yes! Yes!

When the clerk understood and turned around to get the underwear, the gentleman suddenly Shouted: Miss, wait a minute, they are fried...

18. The old gentleman took the train. The car was very crowded. He finally found an empty seat. He was about to sit down happily when the young man next to the seat spoke. Said: "I'm sorry, this seat is occupied."

The old gentleman had no choice but to touch his nose and stand aside.

After a while, a young and beautiful lady came and asked: "Is anyone sitting in this seat?"

The young man said: "It doesn't matter, please sit down!" The young lady sat down.

The old gentleman was very angry and came over and asked: "Didn't you just say there was someone here?"

The young man said: "She is my sister."

The old gentleman said even more angrily: "This is strange, she is my daughter, when did I have a son like you."

19. A guy went to the hospital for a check-up and Many tests were done.

The doctor said: There is good news and bad news! After reading your test results, I discovered that you have potential homosexual tendencies! ! And it’s hard to cure!

This guy said: Oh my God! What about the good news?

The doctor said shyly: I find you are quite cute!

20. A customer ordered a Peking duck. When the waiter brought it, the customer licked the duck's mouth and said, "No, this is a Nanjing duck."

The waiter quickly changed one, and the customer licked the duck's bill and said, "No, this is a duck from Hubei."

The waiter changed another one, and the customer licked the duck's bill again and said: "It's still wrong, this is a Cantonese duck!"

This incident alarmed the restaurant owner, who ran out very excitedly, put his mouth in front of the guest and said: "I have been an orphan since I was a child. I don't know that I am Where was it born? Please lick me and see where I am from."

21. A thief came to a residential area and saw a child sitting at the door of the house with his neck. There is also a bunch of keys hanging on it.

So he stepped forward and said: Little brother, is your father at home?

The little boy said: "No!"

The thief said again: "I am checking the electric meter, can you let me in?"

"Of course Okay." The kid said. The child helped the thief open the door. The thief just put his head in, then ran away.

The child chased him and shouted: "My father is really not at home. They are my uncle, second uncle, third uncle, fourth uncle, fifth uncle, sixth uncle..."

Please accept it as a satisfactory answer.