Recommend small paragraphs, a lot. ...

I have a funny one. I hope the landlord will adopt it. I made it up myself, not copied it.

One day, four people were quarrelling.

A surname is Xu, a surname is Zhou, a surname is Cao, and there is a fat man named Zhang.

Xu said to Zhou Yu: Do you know Zhou Yu?

Zhou was very angry and said, Do you know (Xu) Xu (Pig) Chu?

Cao asked Zhang, "Do you know Zhang Fei?" !

Zhang said: Haha, dare to talk about me, and you will know Cao Cao (fuck you)! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Also, I made up a joke:

A said to B: Do you know Hugo?

B answer: what? Does it taste good? Where is it made? . .

A said to B: Do you know Newton?

B Answer: Is the beef stew delicious?

Four jokes extracted from the Internet:

1, five yuan was kidnapped by a criminal gang, and called the hundred-dollar bill: "Hey! Your son is here. If you don't want us to kill him, trade yourself for him! " The hundred-dollar bill thought for a moment and said, "Tear it up, and you won't even have five dollars!

A man was starving in the desert when he found the magic lamp. Magic lamp: "I can only realize your one wish." Hurry up, I'm in a hurry. " Man: "I want a wife ..." The magic lamp immediately conjured up a beautiful woman, and then disdainfully said: "I'm starving, and I'm greedy for beauty! Pathetic! " Then he disappeared. Man: "... bread.

The earthworm family was bored this day, so the little earthworm cut himself in two to play badminton. Mother earthworm thinks this method is good, so she cuts herself into four pieces to play mahjong. Father earthworm thought about it and cut himself into minced meat. Mother earthworm cried and said, "why are you so stupid?" You will die if you cut so hard! " Father earthworm said weakly ... I suddenly want to play football.

5. The race between the tortoise and the hare ... The hare quickly ran to the front ... The tortoise saw a snail crawling slowly ... and said to him: Come up, I'll carry you ... Then ... the snail climbed up ... Soon ... The tortoise saw an ant again ... and said to him: Come up, too ... So the ant came up. When the ant came up, he saw the snail on it and greeted him. Do you know what the snail said? Snail said: hurry up, this turtle is so fast. ..

The most classic joke, very long, but absolutely good! ：

There are two versions:

1, one day, the devil took the princess (mouth white)

Princess: Help! Help!

Demon: Haha! Just scream! No one will come to save you!

Nobody: Princess! I'm coming to save you!

Demon: What?

What: devil, what do you want me to do?

You called me: Why should I fuck that guy?

That guy: I told you to do it, not me!

M: Why should I be fucked?

Me: Who? Who wants to fuck me? Damn it!

Damn it: hey!

Hello: What's the matter?

M: Fuck me again?

Also: don't grow anything, okay?

What: devil, what do you want me to do?

Ma: So you are behind this!

What the hell are you: ah! It's been discovered!

-At this time, the horse really fought with you. .....

Devil: Who the hell are you?

What the hell are you: huh? People from Taiwan Province Province, of course!

Of course: who said that! I am obviously Japanese!

Who: Did I say that?

I clearly: Oh! So you are Japanese too! Hometown! Hometown!

Oh: no! I'm French!

You too: I'm Indian ... when did I become Japanese?

Don: I'm from New Zealand!

Me: Wow ~ ~ ~ Who am I?

What am I: ㄟ ... We are all earthlings. ...

-I'm surrounded by everyone. .....

Princess: Everyone is fine. Come and help me!

Who: I'm going to buy soy sauce. I have no time. Maybe next time!

Me: Huh? Buy soy sauce?

Demon: Shut up! No one can stop them?

Nobody: although I was the first to appear ... I can't do anything!

They: Why did you stop me? I just got out!

Demon: Shut up, too!

You: I ... I haven't said a word yet ...

They: Really ... Aren't you the second brother?

You: Really ... the third child?

They: Brother! ! !

You: Brother! After years of separation, we finally met!

Demon: That's enough! Enough! It's not a super mission! Stop it!

Princess: Hello! Come and help me!

Hello: I am very busy! Let's talk about it next time!

What: I said the devil! What happened to you!

Demon: Why are you still here? Nothing, nothing! You can go now!

You: I haven't even shown up yet! Why do you ask people to leave?

Me: I've been out for a long time!

Somebody else: huh? Is it for me?

Demon: Shit! I'm going crazy! ! !

Me: I'm a little neurotic, but not crazy!

Princess: If no one wants to save me, then I'm leaving! Goodbye!

Nobody: Goodbye!

Me: I don't want to leave yet

Demon: Nobody wants to leave! Come back here! ! !

Who: I will always be here!

Tong Tong: What are you doing?

M: Who? Who's gonna fuck me again!

Who: There is a misunderstanding! I didn't say that!

Not me: I said that?

M: I'm the planner.

Me: You fart! ! !

You: No way! I'm just farting, so I can't be heard!

I clearly: I didn't fart! Who said that!

Who: I didn't say that! But I really farted just now

I'm just: I'm so far away that you can find me farting! Awesome!

Me: I didn't fart!

Devil: Will you stop farting?

Ladies and gentlemen: We are discussing the difference between Barbie and Guava! Where is the fart?

We: What? I just got out!

They: Big Brother! You are the eldest brother!

You: I have been a big brother for many years. ....

You: Big Brother! It's me and Lao San! Big brother! I am the second child!

We: Really ... Is it really second and third?

You: Big Brother!

They: Big Brother!

We: Great! We three brothers meet again!

Demon: Wow! ...

Wow: the devil! Did you call me?

Demon: Woo-hoo! ! ! ! !

Ho ho: Devil! I am not hard of hearing. Why are you screaming?

Demon: I will kill all of you! ! !

Me: I'm not that bad!

Demon: stunt! ! ! Hell fiend death light wave! ! ! ! ! !

-a flash. .....

Demon: Ha ha ha! ! !

Ha ha ha: What are you doing?

Ma: Asshole! Who wants to fuck me again?

Who is it? Huh?

Me: Why do I exist .....

Demon: What? You ... you. ...

What: Shit! Call me again, what the hell are you doing!

M: I knew it. You did it again!

What are you? Not me this time!

-Mom and you really fought for the second time. .....

Devil: Somebody help me! Help! ! !

Who: All right! You are such a big man, stop crying!

What a big man: Shit! If my name is that long, I will be called. What a ghost!

Ghost: Huh? Someone saw me?

Demon: Who? Who's talking?

Who: What?

What: me?

Me: Hey!

Hello: What?

What: 3 small!

Demon: Everyone is fine. Let me go!

Everyone is fine: no one is arresting you, so leave if you want!

Demon: Really? Thank you very much

Really: Haha! Nothing! Relax.

-Just as the devil turned to leave, a man came out of the grass. .....

2. Director: No fishing?

Demon: Huh?

Director: This is clearly called the devil and the princess. Now that the princess has run away and the devil is gone, how can we play?

Ah!

Demon: But ... But. ...

-when the devil is crying. ...

Princess: Huh? Why is everyone still here?

Director: Didn't you go first?

Princess: Oh! I found that I had forgotten my wallet as soon as I got home!

Director: You came back just in time. You can continue to play!

Demon: Where to start?

Director: Let's start with the part where you took the princess!

Demon: Huh?

Princess: Huh?

Director: OK, the second light is ready, and the fifth camera is ready! The card is sold!

..... just sauce. ....

One day, the demon king took the princess away.

Princess: Help! Help!

Demon: Haha! Just scream! No one will come to save you!

Nobody: Princess! I'm coming to save you!

Demon: Impossible. .............

the second type

One day, the devil took the princess away and she kept screaming.

Devil: "Just scream ... no one will come to save you ..."

Princess: "Broken throat ... broken throat ..."

No one: "Princess ... I'm coming to save you ..."

Devil: "Speak of the devil and he will come ..."

Cao Cao: "Devil .. Why did you call me ..."

Demon: "Wow ... seeing a ghost"

Ghost: "Shit! Was discovered .. "

Shit: "Ghost, can you see me ..."

Devil: "Oh, my God! 」

God: "Who called me? 」

Who: "Nobody called you ..."

Nobody said, "Where am I? Play dumb! 」

Garlic: "Who is pretending to be me? 」

Who: "It's me again? Are you looking for trouble? 」

Trouble: "which one is looking for me?" 」

Which one: "Looking for you? I didn't ... hey, there are so many people here. "

Many people: "I just arrived … who are you?" ? 」

Which one: "I'm not who."

Who: "He's not me."

Princess: "Is everyone here to save me? 」

Everyone said, "I'm not here to save you, I'm here to watch the fun."

Lively: "What do I have to see? 」

God: "It's none of my business. Let's go first. "

Devil: "You answer a question before you go. Why do so many people save the princess? " ? I am a demon.

How did Wang play? 」

Go down: "You good devil won't do it, what shall I do?" 」

Princess: "If no one hits the devil, I can go."

No one: "If I play the devil, how can I let you go ..."

How come: "I won't let the princess go, I want to watch the excitement."

Lively: "What are you looking at me for? 」

What: "You want to fuck me? Rogue! 」

How dare you: "I didn't? 」

Me: "What does it have to do with me?" 」

Devil: "Shit! I'm going crazy ... "

Shit: "What am I doing? ...」

Madman: "What do you want me to do? 」

You want me to say, "I don't know anything! 」

I don't know anything: "I don't know! 」

I don't know: "I'm here! Is someone calling me? 」

Someone said, "I didn't call you! 」

I didn't say, "Who called him? 」

Who: "Wrong ... I didn't ..."

I didn't say, "I haven't wronged you ..."

You: "I dare you."

I dare you: "Who says I dare not! ? 」

Who: "please ... I didn't say anything."

I have nothing: "What do you want me to say? 」

I am nothing: "... you ... aren't you my long-lost brother?" ”」

My long-lost brother: "Kao ... my name is very long ... and I will be called."

Ah ... "

Who: "... I want to leave this troublesome place. "

True or false: "So this is my place ..."

I am nothing &; No: "Stop arguing, we are talking ..."

Don't bother us: "I won't talk ..."

I didn't: "I didn't speak! ...」

I am nothing: "-_-\ \" ... Let's go out and talk ... "

Go: "I'm sorry ... (wriggle)"

I have nothing: "It's none of your business ... Go away ..." (Two brothers go out angrily)

It's none of your business: "Whoops ... why did you kick me out ..."

Why: "I don't want to kick you out ... listen ... don't cry."

I didn't say, "Oh ... What does it have to do with me?"

None of my business: "What? Did anyone call me? 」

Someone said, "Who wants to call you ..."

Who: "I really have to go ... T.T." "

Go: "I'm really embarrassed ... * v.v *" (\ \" Who \ \ "collapsed)

None of your business: "... aren't you my cousin?" ”」

It's none of my business: "... cousins of the same age (or cousins) ... long time no see ..."

For a long time: "I'm not here ..."

Devil: "Are you finished? 」

Endless: "He doesn't have me."

You: "I don't have him."

I just said, "Who said that? 」

Who: "What do you want me to do? 」

Do you want to fuck me? 」

You: "I won't fuck him."

I said, "Who said I wouldn't? 」

Who: "Wrong! I didn't say ... "

He said, "What should I do? 」

? "You two are shameless! 」

You two: "I want it! I want it! 」

Face: "Who wants me? 」

Who: "I don't want it."

Devil: "Hurry up, or I'll kick people out."

Man: "Kick me out? Looking for k "

K: "Who wants to see me? 」

Who: "aaaaaaa! Don't mention my name, mention me again! 」

He said, "Don't trust me."

Me: "Who wants me? 」

Who: "I finally caught one. Kill it. "

One: "Don't arrest me."

Me: "I've had enough, too. If anyone mentions my name again, I will never let you go! 」

Who said, "Look at my eighteen dragon palms! 」

Me: "Look at my nine yin bones and claws! 」

Eighteen palms of dragon descending: "What am I to see? 」

Jiuyin Bones Claw: "What am I to see? 」

What's there to see: "Brother, I finally found you! 」

What's there to see? "Brother, let's talk outside."

Devil: "Shit ... this is an engagement meeting ..."

From then on, the devil really got schizophrenia ...