A long joke story

Just ask one thing

A poor student said to his English teacher on the eve of graduation: thank you, teacher. I'm extremely grateful to you. Although I graduated, you will always be my teacher. Please don't hesitate if you want me to do something.

Ok, please do something for me. The teacher said that you must never tell anyone that I taught you English.

Make sentences with "the whole world"

In Chinese class, the teacher asked the students to make sentences all over the world.

Xiao Ming wrote: "We played football in the playground and accidentally kicked it into the ditch, resulting in mud everywhere."

get lost

In order to cultivate students' ability to read maps, teachers ask students to find the city where we live from the map within a specified time.

Other students found it one after another within the specified time. There is only one student left, still searching hard.

The teacher asked him, "Why haven't you found it yet?"

The classmate replied with a big sweat: "I'm lost!" "

Zhang Wanli

Xiaowu's nickname in the class is Friday.

One day, he only got 55 points in Chinese. The Chinese teacher scolded him and said, Use some strength, it's not good!

Xiaowu said: Teacher, I only have two, not ten.

Suddenly someone jumped out: teacher, he made ten pills and died!

Xiaowu: No wonder the chairman earns more than me.

Class: Why?

Xiaowu: Because his name is Zhang Wanli! !

Actually, it went well.

Ever since I heard the goods in the dormitory sing, "We all have a home, named China, with many brothers and sisters and beautiful scenery. Old people don't want their children to make much contribution to the family ... "

Damn it, I can't change it either ......

Rescue the tiger from the mountain.

Teacher: What does it mean to draw a tiger out of the mountain?

Student: For example, during the exam, the headmaster suddenly called the teacher out of the classroom, which is called "shifting the tiger on the mountain".

A considerate roommate

My roommates in the dormitory are all asleep, and I am the only one lying in bed playing mobile phone and watching jokes.

Afraid of laughing loudly and quarreling with my roommate, I covered my mouth with a quilt, but I was still smoking.

Soon, the brother in the upper bunk dropped a pack of tissues. . .

Why doesn't my freshman brother like me?

In an engineering college, a sophomore snuggled up in the arms of a junior and asked, "Why doesn't my freshman brother like me?"

The junior stroked the head of the sophomore and said, "Little fool, they still like women!" "

pressure cooker

I remember when I was in junior high school, my teacher wrote a semi-propositional composition "Stress" or "Stress".

We have all written about "the pressure of growth", "the pressure of exams" or "us under pressure".

Only one prodigy in our class wrote an explanatory article-pressure cooker.

Fold the quilt

When I first went to college, one of the military training was to clean up the house.

On that day, the instructor checked the internal affairs of the dormitory and went to bed with a classmate. He said, "I'll let you fold it into tofu." Look at your stack, like tofu brain. "

In a blink of an eye, I went to another classmate's bedside and exclaimed, "This classmate has actually folded into a paper plane! ! ! "

Call her the queen mother

Pony went to his cousin's school to play and saw a Yinhe Road.

Say: Yinhe Road? Make it look like heaven and earth.

Cousin: "Yes, there is a boys' dormitory on this side of the road.

It's called Niulang Temple, and the girls' dormitory group over there is called Zhinv Temple. "

Pony: "It's a pity that school leaders can't take a magpie bridge on this road."

My cousin pointed to a woman and said, "That's my aunt at boarding school. We all call her the Queen Mother. "

Only two subjects failed.

Health A: How was the exam?

Student B: I did well in this exam. I failed only two subjects, liberal arts and science.

Is that girl seeing anyone?

Mix is so cute and simple that her friends ask her how she met her boyfriend.

She said: "I forgot to bring my driver's license when I went to learn driving, so my roommate on the fifth floor threw it down for me."

As a result, a gust of wind blew to the balcony on the second floor. When I knocked at the door, I saw an old lady. The old lady looked at me.

I was so excited that I asked the girl if she was seeing someone. I said no! As a result, she brought her son to give me a blind date at night! ! "

Calm nature is cool.

The science teacher asked: Why is the body cold after death?

No one answered.

The teacher asked again: Does nobody know?

At this time, a classmate stood up and said, that's because you are calm and naturally cool.

All kinds of "juice"

On one occasion, a fill-in-the-blank question appeared on the TOEFL test paper of foreign students: racking one's brains.

When collecting the test paper, the teacher found that there were all kinds of answers, but none of them were correct, such as: racking one's brains; Rack one's brains; Squeeze juice; rack one's brains

When the teacher later marked the papers, he said to these future students studying in China: You really racked your brains and didn't write "racking your brains".

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