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A classic joke that makes people laugh
A classic joke that makes people laugh. We can't avoid talking to people in life. This joke is both ironic and funny. Let both the speaker and the listener feel funny, and use some classic jokes to ease the embarrassing atmosphere of both sides. Share the classic jokes that make people laugh.
A classic joke that makes people laugh 1 1. Although Xueba's achievements make me dumbfounded, the speed at which I hand in my papers absolutely makes Xueba dumbfounded.
2, depressed, short and fat, proud and tall, this is the most inspirational thing I have ever heard.
3, eat, I want it, thin, I want it, too, you can't have your cake and eat it, I went.
I want to eat you when I look at you. I can never resist your scent, dear braised pork.
If your ex-boyfriend and current boyfriend fell into the water, would you choose to stay with me?
If one day I become arrogant, please remember that no one ever looked down on me.
7. As a mature person, I don't eat in anger, only when I am full.
I don't need everyone to nod. I live to make people who hate me more and more unhappy.
9. Is there anyone who once made you crazy, but now he is desperate to forget?
10, the grass is bearing seeds and the wind is shaking the leaves. It's beautiful that we stand without talking.
1 1. What should I do in my life? Firmly support all his viewpoints and cultivate him into a great man.
12, time is like a high-quality paper towel, always used a lot, but I don't know where to use it.
13, I learned not to provoke others actively, but it doesn't mean that I am being slaughtered. I am kind and cruel.
14, walked into a KFC, ordered a coke, sat down and watched the boys and girls file past the window.
15, you said that a person plays games without spraying, so how noble is he in life?
16, the aunt in the canteen will say to herself every time she hears the class is over: the enemy has 30 seconds to reach the battlefield.
17, I don't know what surrender is, and there is nothing destiny takes a hand. We were born to turn over.
18, I tried to count your injuries with a smile, but in the end, tears flowed out of my eyes with a smile.
19, Yue Lao, can you stop pulling me with inferior thread? It will be broken from time to time.
20. Some people are eating what's in the bowl and thinking about what's in the pot. I won't. I always eat with a pot in my arms.
2 1, I was taught from an early age not to spend money indiscriminately. When you grow up, you find that there is no money for you to spend.
22, you and he said civilization, he gave you barbarism; You reason with him, and he plays rascal with you.
23. The person who can make you live the most like yourself must be the one who loves you the most and the one you love the most.
24. Cherish the friends around you. If you lose money, you can make it again. If you lose a friend, you don't have to pay back the money.
25. If you forget, forget it. Can you delete me as a document? 0 forced uninstallation is really not possible!
26. People are the best, not how many people you know! But how many people still know you when you are in trouble!
Regarding my parents' suspicion of puppy love, I just want to say that you overestimate my ability.
28. You are so reasonable, gentle and elegant; No one has to love you, spoil you and spoil you.
29. Only the days that can be caught, the money that can be counted, and the people who stay with you are real.
Love is like a cup of delicious and rich coffee, while marriage is a coffee cup with coffee grounds.
3 1, what is really awesome is not how many people you know, but how many people know you when you are in trouble.
Summer is so romantic, I want to invite it to the movies. If you are free, you can come along.
33. I am not a saint, I don't have many degrees, and I don't care what people think. I will stay and follow my heart.
I want to go to the movies with my boyfriend recently. Please recommend me a good boyfriend!
I want to give you a lovely gift, but Uncle Express won't let me into the box.
36. It's good to know something, needless to say. It's good that some people know each other. There's no need to be intimate.
37. Do your duty, live up to your conscience, be kind to every sincerity, please don't be indifferent.
38. How many people in the world owe you money, making you feel like you're dead every day.
A classic joke that makes people laugh 2 1. Traveling by plane, sitting next to a couple. When I handed out the set meal on the plane, I said to my husband: Look at the one next to others, the woman can't finish it, and the man eats the rest. It's so loving. Husband said faintly: Will you be left behind?
2. My uncle came to my house as a guest, but Xiaowen said to his mother, "Mom, I'm going to the zoo to see monkeys." . Mother growled at once, "What monkey are you looking at? Your uncle is here. What zoo are you going to? "
My wife bought a hamster and a cage. I asked her how much it was, and she said how many hamsters and cages there were. I complain that this cage is more expensive than hamster. The second goods replied: "Do you think you will be higher than the current house price?"
4. In high school, I was the penultimate in my class, never came to school, and spent all day in Internet cafes. But the strange thing is that he comes to every exam and is never absent. Later, we found that the penultimate member of the class would go to the Internet cafe to give it to the penultimate member 10 yuan before each exam, begging him to take the exam. ...
When I was in college, I heard a roommate say that one of his friends expressed his feelings: "My brother is getting married." A message: "Your boy won't get on the boat first and then make up the ticket, will he?" Congratulations! " Later reply: "Not me, but my brother ..."
6. The wife asked her husband, "If I am crazy, will you still love me?" The husband said firmly, "Love!" The wife pondered for a while and said sadly, "You really love my appearance!" " "
7. The wife asked her husband, "Do you like my tenderness or are you infatuated with my sexy figure?" The husband was embarrassed for a while and replied, "I like your sense of humor!" " ! "
8. When walking with my boyfriend, I like to hug his waist and pull his clothes. Walking one day, he suddenly said, "Will you stop pulling my clothes?" I was unhappy and said, "can't you have a baby when you talk to me?" Then he said, "Don't pull my baby's clothes, okay?" Me: "..."
9. After the two mice got married, the mother mouse became more and more arrogant. One night, the male mouse wanted to scare her, so he went to the door to learn to meow. The wife was not only not afraid, but also said softly, "Mao Ge, stop screaming, my husband hasn't gone on a business trip yet."
10, "I like to get to the bottom of it since I was a child. My wish is to be a detective when I grow up. Now I am the editor-in-chief of a newspaper. What about you? "
"I like to play since I was a child. When I grow up, my wish is to go shopping with a lot of money. Now I am a bus conductor. "
1 1. I went home at night and heard crying in the alley. When I got closer, it turned out to be a disheveled woman crying. Asked what happened, the young lady replied, "I was violated by a pervert!" " Me: Are you all right? "The young lady replied," He suddenly grabbed my chest from behind and let me go ... "I said," Why are you crying? " The young lady replied, "because ... that pervert actually said it was unlucky to hug a man." "
12, the boss sat there depressed after work, and the secretary asked why? Boss: "I received a letter from a guy yesterday saying that if I don't leave his wife, he will kill me!" " Secretary: "Just leave his wife! "Boss:" But that guy didn't sign! " "
Once, a very bad eunuch stopped Ji Xiaolan and asked him to tell a joke. Ji Xiaolan said, "Once upon a time, there was a man." Then there was a long silence, and the eunuch couldn't help asking, "What's next?" Ji Xiaolan replied, "There's nothing down there!
14, one day in class, the teacher asked Xiaoli, "What is the motherland?" Xiaoli said, "Teacher, the motherland is my mother." The teacher said, "That's a good answer." Then the teacher asked Xiao Ming, "Xiao Ming, what is the motherland?" Xiao Ming said, "Teacher, the motherland is Xiaoli's mother."
15, late at night, my husband didn't return. The daughter is anxious to call her mother: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! " Mother comforted softly: "silly child, be good, don't think the worst, something may have happened!" " "
16, a buddy next door moved to a foreigner. One night, a foreigner knocked at the door for help and said, "My TV is broken and I can't change the channel." The buddy looked down at his watch and said calmly, "It will be fine after 7: 30"!
17, once borrowed a relative's megaphone, put a heart-shaped candle in the boys' dormitory to express his confession, pressed the switch and was about to shout. A voice came from the loudspeaker: "recycling, refrigerator, color TV, washing machine, gas tank." Then I started crying.
18, I saw an old man carrying heavy things upstairs, and I wanted to say, Grandpa, let me help you with your things! Open your mouth and become: Grandpa, let me help you with your old things!
19, my boyfriend and I quarreled to the point of breaking up, and both sides were very excited. I sent an angry message saying that I would roll my own package. When I was excited, I wrote "I would roll my own corn". My boyfriend sent a message "Goodbye hamster".
20. I went to my neighbor's house to borrow something. They are eating watermelon. When he lent me something, I said, I won't eat it. The face I lost at that time has not been found yet.
Classic joke that makes people laugh 3 1, drink with leaders and others, raise a glass and say loudly: "Let's die together!" My brain is too hot. ...
2. Chinese Americans and Jews were drinking drinks together, and three flies flew into their drinks. The Americans took an important drink, but China ignored it and drank it. The Jews grabbed the fly and shouted, spit it out! Spit out your drink!
A man sells popsicles in the market for the first time, and he is embarrassed to sell them. A man next to him was shouting "selling popsicles", so he had to shout "me too."
4, the teacher's classic 4 quotations: A: This is another sub-topic. B: The PE teacher has something to do. I will come to this class. C: Are you talking or am I talking? Say it and you will come up! D: You're the worst class I've ever had!
5, cooking at noon, my mother made me a pot of carrots: "Go, cut the carrots into diced meat!"
6. Lying in bed, replying "I really want to eat" under the photos of others drying food, the baby photos were praised, the selfie was unified with the female "thin" and the male "cool", the travel photos were unified with the envy, and the reply was "awesome" when meeting, and I felt that I was about to become a social queen.
7. One day, Lao Wang took a bus, and a pregnant woman got on the bus and found that there was no place. She said to Lao Wang, who was sitting by, "Didn't you see that I was pregnant?" Lao Wang looked at the pregnant woman in surprise and said, "Were we neighbors before?"
8. Everyone's heart is full of demons. Learn to control him. The devil may be greedy, desperate or angry. But in any case, to control him, all successful people in this world are trying to control the devil inside him.
9. A Japanese customer came to the company and was very polite when eating. He just clinked glasses and went to the factory to see the equipment after eating. I don't know which big brother opened the manhole cover, but the little devil disappeared as soon as he got off the bus. The boss of the company said, "Still a ninja."
10, two birds saw a hunter aiming at them, and one said, you protect the scene, I'll call the police!
1 1, old four got out of bed and looked for slippers for a long time. No, I asked everyone: Where are my slippers?
12 a customer angrily ran into the tailor's shop, pointed to the fashion designed by the owner for him and said, "I was standing on the street corner yawning, and two people put letters in my mouth!" "
13, "Do you remember the craziest thing you did after the college entrance examination?" God replied, "Repeat."
14, I remember once buying a fruit named Elizabeth. I opened my mouth and said, boss, how much is Shakespeare? The boss froze when he was at the scene.
15, I heard from my classmates that once a girl in her dormitory went to buy sanitary napkins and said to her boss, a pack of sanitary napkins. The boss actually asked: Do you want three delicacies or spicy food? Then the classmate paused and said, Sam Hsien, I'm afraid I can't stand spicy food. ...
16, my parents quarreled, and my father said angrily, "I'll go out!" "
17. The prince climbed the tower and asked Princess Lettuce to go with him. The princess looked down and said, "No, the witch put a spell on this castle. I can't leave here. " "What spell is so powerful?" "wireless network." Madam, this spell is too poisonous.
18, when I was in college, a teacher gave a lecture and said, "The sexual function of this material is incomparable to that of the old material ... Oh, no, the performance and function ..."
19, the father said sternly to his daughter's boyfriend, "can't you just take my daughter to the movies every day?" The young man was surprised and happy: "You mean you can do other things?"
20. A farmer's daughter is so ugly that he has to let her be a scarecrow in the corn field to scare crows. As a result, not only did she scare away the crows, but even three crows were scared to send some corn back.
2 1, playing basketball in high school, A got the ball and selflessly passed it to B. B scored easily. After a while, B got the ball and A shouted to pass it to him. B throw the ball yourself. As a result, A shouted angrily: I really blinded my dog just now ... the whole audience laughed.
22. On the first day of school, I felt a little excited. Am I sleeping? Or listen to music? Still playing with your mobile phone? Or eat snacks? What a struggle! ! !
23. Our general manager's surname is Zhou. I was driving as soon as he called. When I get nervous, I say, "Premier Zhou ..."
24, just went to college, military training, the company commander didn't know where the accent was, and shouted the password-"Drill to the left!" "Drill to the right!"
25. Foreigners who have learned some Mandarin. Say hello to the secretary in the morning. "How are you?" The young lady stared at him. He paused and immediately said to her, "Hello, Mom!" " "
26. Once I went to buy a mutton kebab, I stretched out four fingers and said to my boss, "Three mutton kebabs." How much did the boss take? "I held out three fingers and said" four " ...
27. 10 minutes after class, the deskmate raised her hand and said, teacher, I want to go to the toilet. The English teacher said unhappily: How old are you to go to the toilet?
28. When my friend got married, the host invited me to the stage and said, "Today is your good brother's wedding date. Why not come up and say something? " I am a little excited: "Then order sweet and sour carp and braised pork ribs."
29. Chickens are born in poverty and can't afford meat. So she raised an earthworm and cut a little every day to cook. In short, it will grow in a few days. Later, for meat and vegetables, she planted some leeks. Ultraman
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