Which friend has a hilarious joke? Share it, thank you.

1. Unfortunate Japanese people from four countries went to travel by plane, and the plane suddenly became overloaded. The pilot said, our plane is overweight now, and we have to jump off one person. The Americans shouted, "Long live the United States of America" and jumped off the plane. The driver said, it's still too heavy, and we have to jump another one. The British people shouted "Long live the Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland" and then jumped off the plane. At this time, the driver said that he was still heavy and had to jump again. China people came out, and the Japanese held the hand of China people affectionately and said, "I will never forget the kindness of the people of China!" " At this time, China people shouted: "Long live the Chinese people and the country!" Then he kicked the Japanese down. The next day, people from four countries traveled abroad by plane. Unexpectedly, the plane broke down. The American said that there were three parachutes here, and one of us had to jump off the plane. The American said, "I'll give you a question, and whoever can't answer it will jump." All three people agreed. Americans ask China people, "How many suns are there in the sky?" China people: "One." The American asked the Englishman, "How many moons are there in the sky?" Englishman: "One." The American asked the Japanese, "How many stars are there in the sky?" Japanese: "…" The American kicked him down. On the third day, they traveled by plane again, and the plane broke down again. The American said, "There are only three parachutes here, and someone has to get off the plane. As usual, it's still my problem." The American asked the China people, "A huge passenger ship crashed a few years ago. What was its name?" China people: "Titanic." The American asked the British, "How many people died in that accident?" Britain: "153 people." The American asked the Japanese again, "What are the names of 153 people?" Japan: "..." The United States kicked the Japanese in the face and got off the plane. On the fourth day, the four of them went on a trip again, and the plane broke down again. At this moment, the Americans came over. Before speaking, Japan called out, "Forget it, you don't have to kick me, I'll jump myself." After that, he jumped off the plane. The American shouted at the door, "Damn it, you are sick. There are five parachutes on the plane today!" " 2, the teacher's shocking quotations: 1, say that you have no perseverance, but you still have it, that is, insist on talking in class for a long time. 2. I don't even have a draft book. It's pathetic. If I can't afford it, I'll take a loan from the opposite bank. 3, it's still noisy, don't save your strength, and then go to the cafeteria to grab food. 4. Take out the papers handed out last time. Under normal circumstances, you should not have done them. I am quite confident about your laziness. 5. You still lack mosquitoes when sleeping in the classroom, so you don't feel like a dormitory, do you? 6. Why are you all asleep? At least one person should be on guard! 7. Do you have to go to the toilet together for wholesale? Don't be so obvious! 8. I want to sleep in class, eat when I sleep, and read when I eat. Alas, I am anxious for you! 9. The volume of your class during the day is much lower than that during the self-study last night, which is extremely abnormal. If this happens to wild animals, it means that a big natural disaster is coming. 1. Don't turn the pen, turn your brain. 11. Some students in the back row always sit there thinking with a melancholy expression and do nothing. On their faces, I saw Fan Zhongyan's elegant demeanor-worrying about the world first, admire it! 3. The failed interviewer; What is the retail price of windows 7 Professional Edition in Chinese mainland? Me: 5 yuan Examiner: Go out, the word "give up next" never appeared in my dictionary. I voted and voted, and finally got the opportunity of google interview. However, when I went to google for an interview, I was kicked out again after answering a question ... Examiner: Where did you get the news of google interview? I: Baidu Examiner: Go out, the next brother is depressed, but I still have to support myself first. Drag a friend to find a job at McDonald's. . But the other person was very abnormal and asked me to sing McDonald's songs. At that time, my brother smiled. I knew McDonald's songs since I was a child. So I opened my mouth and came: with KFC, life is good! Examiner: Going out ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ McDonald's failed in the interview. My mother dragged someone to find a job in mobile customer service. My mother said that this doesn't require technology. You should try it first, and I agreed without thinking. The interview went well, and the other party appreciated me very much. Finally, the examiner said to me, You are very good. Please leave your phone number so that we can inform you to go to work. Me: "132 ..." Examiner: Get out. . . . My heart is broken. . . Unemployed for so long, eating and drinking at home. My family looked at me with a little helplessness. Walking to a shopping mall, I saw Adi looking for a clerk. I thought I'd try it. Examiner: Please say our slogan. I: just do it. Examiner: Go out, next. Repeated failures did not dampen my confidence, so I calmed down and studied hard, and finally got admitted to our local civil servants with excellent results. Still, there's a fucking interview. During the interview, I answered questions and saw the examiner's face. I think there is no problem with this job. When I was happy. The examiner asked me, young man, which historical figure do you like best? I answered without thinking: He Shen! Examiner: Get out. This failure, I have a very important consideration of life, looking back on all the previous ones, I finally found that the most important thing is that I have answered some questions incorrectly. However, this interview, I have made the most adequate preparations. NOKIA's product department informed me that it took me a week to do all the work. Even the slogan is not wrong: science and technology are people-oriented. The examiner was very satisfied and said, if there are no accidents, you can come to work tomorrow. At this time, the phone rang and a discordant voice appeared: "HELLO MOTO". 4. A man ventured alone in the forest and suddenly found himself surrounded by cannibals. So he shouted to the sky, "I'm dead, God help me!" " I saw a voice coming from the sky as soon as the light came: "Not necessarily, you can pick up a big stone on the ground and smash the leader to death." So he picked up the biggest stone on the ground and slammed it at the chief, just killing him. All the people stayed for a while, and then glared at each other. At this time, there was another voice from the sky: "Now you are really dead." 5. School Booking Office: Tickets are extremely tight now. If the train ticket you want is not available, will you obey the adjustment? Me: Obey. After getting the ticket the next day, I was angry: I booked a ticket to Shandong, why did I get it to Shanxi! ! ! School booking office: didn't you say you would obey the adjustment? 6. Once upon a time, Americans visited Russia. One day, I saw two Russian workers on the road in Russia. One was digging a hole by the road with a shovel, and he dug a hole every three meters. The other worker immediately backfilled the hole just dug by the previous worker, and so on ... The American was curious and asked the first Russian worker, "Why did the guy behind you fill the hole as soon as you dug it?" The Russian worker replied, "We are greening the road. I dig holes, the second person plants trees, and the third person fills the soil. But the second person didn't come today. 』