A classic joke to comfort people

1.5-year-old daughter is now in a painting interest class. The teacher took a piece of white paper and asked her to paint it with her favorite color. She said to the teacher, I like white, so can I not draw?

2. The exam is over. Presumably, many fresh candidates have experienced the true face of the college entrance examination. Yes, the college entrance examination is nothing special. Just like the usual exam, I still can't answer it.

In the restaurant, a man pointed to a piece of tofu more than two meters long in the dish and shouted, "What ear are you? I ordered home-cooked tofu! " When the chef heard this, he wondered, "Isn't it long enough?"

A friend bought many gifts for people in a circle in Beijing. One of them was a funny notebook with the words "Sunflower Collection" bound on it. Today, we had dinner together, shared presents, and left our notebooks in the hotel when we left. The hotel waiter chased you out and told you to wait. The last friend went back to see him. The waiter shouted, sir, you forgot your sunflower collection.

My colleague's daughter is a little beauty. When she comes back from kindergarten, her mother often asks her, "Beauty, did anyone call you that today?" The little girl sighed: "I guess they see me too much, so they think I'm not beautiful."

6. Don't cry if you don't do well in the Chinese exam, because you will find that you cry too early after the math exam.

7. One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him. The naked man was furious and shouted: * * * I have never seen a naked man! The female driver is also furious: I see where * * * pays!

8. Learning to bully will eventually pay off, and scum will be reincarnated. If you don't believe me, look up and see who can survive the college entrance examination!

9. When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered, "Sweetheart!" The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."

10. It's early morning. It's fucking annoying to be ahead I can't stand it. I knocked on his door and said angrily, "You said you have nothing to do. Why do you always change your WiFi password?" ! "

1 1. At noon, my mother made me a pot of carrots. "Go, cut the carrots into diced meat!"

12. After breakfast, several people chatted in the dormitory. Suddenly, a man farted. To ease the embarrassment, I said, "I ate too many radishes in the morning. Eating radish is easy to fart. " Another said, "Well, eating garlic is also easy to fart." Suddenly, they said, "No, it smells like onions. . . "

13. Some people say that if a man is willing to squat on the main road and tie your shoelaces, you can marry such a man! But I want to say, "do you want to settle accounts?"

14. Waiting in line in the canteen, I heard a boy next to me say, "Master, a bowl of bullet cauliflower soup!" (Porphyra and egg soup) Haha, I laughed until I sprayed the soup. A joke to comfort a bad mood.

15. Female secretary: "Boss, your wife called. She said on the phone that she would kiss you." Boss: "Give it to me first, and then give it to me later."

16. After the beautiful Mongolian actress finished her performance, the leader took the stage to receive her. Then he took her hand and asked her if she was cold and warm. She refused to let go for a long time and asked kindly, what's your name? The actress replied excitedly, "Maragobi Matsumoto".

17. Men and women sleep in the same room, and women draw a clear line: those who cross the border are animals. Woke up and found that the man really didn't cross the line, and the woman slapped the man hard: you are not even as good as an animal!

18. On the day of the Double Eleven, I didn't sell the long-awaited local gold, and the Swiss watch was 50% off. I also boycotted the Adidas sneakers by 60%. I still didn't buy a down jacket with a 50% discount, so I restrained myself from being rational at all times and not spending impulsively. Psychology calls this phenomenon poverty.

19. Mrs. Mary was taken to court for running a red light. The judge stared at her and asked, "Mrs. Mary?" Yes, you used to be a teacher in Xicheng primary school? Yes, how do you know? The judge smiled. I am your student. Mrs Mary smiled and relaxed. The judge went on to say, I have been waiting for this day for more than 20 years, and now I punish you for copying it 1000 times. "I made a mistake when I ran the red light. I won't do it again."

20. When I was in college, I heard a girl order food. Master fried a plate of hot and sour shredded potatoes, not potatoes!

2 1. I want my deskmate monitor to study at the university for one night and make a fool of himself. I put a piece of paper behind him with a picture of a pig on it. She is a very fat girl sitting at the back table. The fat girl laughed wildly after seeing it, and the louder she laughed, the monitor asked her why she laughed. The fat girl smiled and pointed to the monitor and said, "There is a pig behind you …".