The awakening of middle-aged men: I talked about extramarital affairs for ten years and played a joke on myself. What should I do?

It is said that in feelings, women are more vulnerable than men, but the man sitting in front of me seems to be more lonely and helpless than women. He sucked the last cigarette in his hand, squeezed it violently and threw it in the ashtray on the table, as if to strangle his last dream about that relationship.

He is a divorced man. When he divorced ten years ago, he just turned 30 and the child was the woman's. He has countless reasons to remarry. However, he never wanted to remarry in the past ten years. Because he fell in love with a woman with a family, he was just waiting for her to give him an answer. Because this time, he is deeply in love.

She appeared in the most depressed period after his divorce. He accepted the loneliness after divorce and the smiles of his colleagues and neighbors. This is what happens to a man who can't even afford a wife. He forced a smile during the day and always vented his anger through alcohol when he couldn't sleep at night. He thought that maybe the rest of his life would be so miserable, until she appeared and another light lit up in his world.

Perhaps she is excellent, beautiful and healthy, and more importantly, she is cheerful and smiles like a gorgeous light, which instantly sweeps away all the haze in his heart. Her initiative and enthusiasm made him quickly out of the haze. He found that with her words, his heart suddenly had unlimited motivation and his life was full of hope.

I don't know when he stopped hating his ex-wife and responding to the finger pointing behind his colleagues and neighbors. He knew that she had replaced his ex-wife in his heart, and he put his happiness for the rest of his life as a bet, all on her.

He knows that she has a family and the children are too young, so it is impossible for her to divorce for the time being. So he made up his mind to wait for her until she could leave the family completely and then give him a good home. Faced with this feeling, he is firm and extremely loyal. As long as she likes it, he wants to do his best.

Knowing that she likes singing, he took money to help her hire a famous teacher to learn vocal music. His income is not high, but he has no family burden. Although he dedicated himself to her, he didn't complain. He encourages her to do what she wants to do, and her husband doesn't support her, but don't be afraid of anything when you are with him.

Later, she said that she wanted to open a vocal training center, but the investment was huge. He thought about it and made a bolder decision. He wants to sell the house with his ex-wife, which is the only wealth after his divorce from his ex-wife. He wants to sell it, and he wants to use the money to help her realize a dream. He hopes that she will get better and better, and he hopes that one day his love with her will have a satisfactory result.

When he was going to sell his house, he overheard news about her and others. He knows that she often gets off work in another man's car recently, and he is very dissatisfied. He asked her why she couldn't concentrate on his feelings, but she admitted that she had an unreasonable relationship with that man. She told him that he was suspicious. If she doesn't even have the right to ride in a colleague's car, she would rather give up this relationship.

He also feels unreasonable, perhaps because he cares too much about her. He just wants to take her for himself, so he is flustered, suspicious and inexplicably jealous. Hearing her anger, he knew that he had gone too far and began to think deeply about himself. Maybe he loves her in the wrong way.

However, his concern for her seems to have become a habit. As long as she didn't reply to the message, he began to feel uneasy. He is worried that she will gradually lose her enthusiasm for him, and even more worried that she will give up herself because of the temptation of the outside world like her ex-wife. So, his heart began to panic inexplicably, but he also knew that he couldn't control her. He and she had no name, no score, no right and no reason.

As long as he is drunk, he will tell her his heart. His panic, loneliness and helplessness are all produced in front of her, but he doesn't know how a woman can tolerate a weak man in her own world. This woman is ambitious. She will never allow her man to be weak or even afraid. What she needs is a stronger maintenance umbrella, which he seems unable to do.

She finally divorced, but the reason for the divorce was not for him, but because she had a stronger background. He became hysterical and tried to keep her with his last majesty. But the more so, the more ruthless she walked. When she broke free from his hand and walked away without looking back, he realized that it was in this relationship.

He is always a modest man. He is desperate to please her, dreaming that she is the one who can spend the rest of his life with him. But he was wrong. All this is just his wishful thinking. In the past ten years, he has refused countless blind date opportunities, and he is sure that she will continue to accompany him. However, at last he realized that he was just a passer-by in her life.

Emotional trauma once again made him completely silent. At the moment, he only thinks he is a joke. All his hopes in the past ten years were dashed in the sun. He knew that maybe he should get drunk and forget the pain for a while. When he wakes up, he will empty himself and forget the past. Maybe in this way, he can live easily.