Why do many middle-aged couples sleep in separate beds now? (Day 64, night shift)

There is such a joke: there is a newly married couple who have a very good relationship. Every night when sleeping, the wife will sleep on her husband's arm. A year later, the woman got cervical spondylosis and the man got scapulohumeral periarthritis.

The couple in the joke should still be in the "passionate period" of the first stage of marriage. Husband and wife are inseparable, and marriage is full of excitement, sexual interest and intimacy, so it doesn't matter whether intimate behavior will affect the body.

Couples at this stage generally don't consider sleeping in separate beds, and many couples who have entered the middle-aged crisis will choose to sleep in separate beds.

Middle age generally means 45 to 59 years old. Couples of this age, most of their children are in high school, college or work, and the old parents who help take care of their grandchildren have also completed the "task" and no longer live with middle-aged couples. This creates conditions for middle-aged couples to sleep in separate beds-there are extra bedrooms, and couples sleep in separate rooms.

Apart from "conditional permission", many middle-aged couples sleep in separate beds for the following reasons:

1. Don't like each other

Many people give the best to outsiders and the worst to their relatives. In front of outsiders, they maintain a good image of self-restraint and high quality, while at home, they are sloppy and let their bad habits drift. Middle-aged couples, in particular, think they are married and have no worries in front of each other.

A friend of mine spoke of her husband's bad habit in disgust, saying that when he was sitting in bed watching TV, he dug his nose with his hands, and the nose excrement he dug out was not wrapped in a paper towel, but bounced to the ground with his fingers. Because she can't stand her husband's habit of not paying attention to hygiene, she and her husband sleep in separate beds.

I also have a colleague who is nearing retirement age and divorced her husband. A few years before the divorce, she always complained that her husband went to bed at night without taking a shower. She couldn't stand it, so she kept sleeping in separate beds.

2. Improve the quality of sleep

I once slept in separate beds with my husband for a while because he had problems with his lumbar vertebrae and cervical vertebrae. The doctor advised him to sleep on a hard bed, but I'm not used to sleeping on a hard bed. Finally, I solved the problem by sleeping in separate beds. However, after sleeping separately for a while, I made a compromise, threw away the mattress and slept on the bed board with him.

When people reach middle age, their bodies will be in a state more or less, especially middle-aged women. During menopause, their sleep quality is poor and it is difficult for them to fall asleep. It is even more difficult to fall asleep after being woken up. If the husband snores or gets up in the middle of the night to go to the toilet, it will affect his wife's sleep. The wife's sleep disorders, such as insomnia, early awakening and difficulty in falling asleep, began to toss and turn as soon as she went to bed, which also interfered with her husband's sleep.

Therefore, sleeping in separate beds is conducive to improving the sleep quality of both husband and wife.

3. The passion is gone

The passion between middle-aged couples has long since disappeared. There is a saying that holding the old lady's hand is like holding the right hand with the left hand.

Middle-aged couples have less and less sexual life because of illness or age, at least out of sync. It may also be because of feelings or taking care of children. Many couples have not lived together for many years. Sleeping together is at least a torment for one of them, so it is better to sleep in separate beds, at least quieter. This is also the fundamental reason why many middle-aged couples sleep in separate beds.

Enhance feelings

The old couple have been in love for many years, but there will always be "aesthetic fatigue" one day. In marriage, it is especially difficult to keep a sense of mystery.

I remember hearing the story of a famous person. Someone asked the celebrity why he divorced his beautiful wife. The celebrity said that because he once saw his wife in the toilet, she showed a very painful and ugly expression because of constipation, and her image in his mind immediately plummeted.

If there is no personal privacy between husband and wife, food, drink and sleep are exposed to each other's sight, sooner or later, the relationship between husband and wife will become weaker and weaker because of the lack of mystery and freshness, just like the celebrity above.

Therefore, some couples choose to sleep in separate beds in order to maintain mystery and freshness and enhance their feelings.

Proper living in separate beds can create a sense of freshness for both parties, add a little romantic atmosphere to marriage life, play the role of "it is better to get married than to leave", and lay some expectations for the next intimate contact.

Take care of children

Couples over 50 years old, because their children are busy with work, or because they are distressed that their children will not bring grandchildren, or because they like grandchildren, some couples in their 50 s either bring grandchildren or live apart. Go to the children's house to take care of their grandchildren, while guarding the home. Some children have several children, so the husband and wife take care of their grandchildren (including grandchildren) separately.

There are many advantages for middle-aged couples to sleep in separate beds, but the disadvantages are also obvious.

Some experts pointed out that separate beds are not conducive to the relationship between husband and wife, and the closest relationship between people is described as "sharing a bed." There is a saying that husband and wife are destined to "cross the boat for a hundred years and sleep with each other for a thousand years."

The intimate relationship between husband and wife is often worth a thousand words.

For middle-aged couples, sleeping in separate rooms in the absence of passion may make the already cold relationship even colder, add insult to injury, create a deeper gap, and even let a third party take advantage of it.

Therefore, it is suggested that middle-aged couples with contradictions should grasp the scale of sleeping in separate beds and not let temporary separation become permanent separation.