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China's homophonic joke hurts the stomach.
Jokes are short in length, simple and ingenious in story, often unexpected, giving people a wonderful feeling of being suddenly enlightened. Most of them reveal absurd phenomena in life, which are ironic and entertaining. There are different tastes. The following is a Chinese homophonic joke that I arranged to make you laugh, for your reference, hoping to help friends in need.
China homophonic jokes hurt your stomach 1 1. In a small county, due to development problems, even the teacher's Mandarin is not standard. Go to physical education class one day. The PE teacher shouted, "It's all soybean oil. Pay attention to stew wonton neatly! . "(Attention, all teammates, line up.
2. In a busy market, a fish seller shouted, "Fresh fish!" At this moment, a bubble gum seller immediately shouted:
"bubble sugar! Hearing this, the fish seller said to the sugar seller, "Hey, why did you say my fish was ruined? "They are more noisy more fierce. Just then, a seller of bean sprouts shouted again: "bean sprouts!" " A security guard came up and asked, "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an avocado seller shouted "avocado!" After listening to this, the security guard said, "All right, let's take you four with us! "
3. The coach said, "Class One kills chickens, Class Two steals eggs, and I'll cook porridge for you." One kind of shooting, the other kind of bombing. Let me show you. )
4. One day, a man named A Shuang died. His family burst into tears at home: "Cool! Cool! " Their neighbors saw it and asked them what was going on. They said, "Great, great."
Lao Li's door is made of plastic. Lao Li said, "My door is made of plastic." The door of Lao Zhang's house is made of wicker. Lao Zhang said, "My door is a wooden door." The door of Lao Wang's house is made of brick. Lao Wang said, "My door is a brick door." Liu's door is made of steel. Liu said, "you chat, I walked first!
5. The students in Teachers College said: I am from Teachers College. The students of the Railway Institute said: I am from the "Iron Institute". The students in vocational colleges said: I am from vocational colleges. The students of the technical college said: You talk, I'll go first.
China's homophonic joke hurts the stomach. The bear can say, dude, you are so poor. Are all four paws sold out?
Say to the district, brother, have you ever sold fake wine? Why is industry and commerce closed again?
The soldier said to Qiu, Brother, you stepped on a mine. Why is your leg missing?
Convex to concave, although our two rooms are different, the area is not bad.
Say goodbye to each other. Why do officials have shelves and small hands?
Mouth to mouth, honey, you've been pregnant for so long. Why don't you say something?
Ugly said to the girl, have a good life with her. We are all like this. It is not easy to find a woman.
China homophonic joke hurts your stomach 3 1. A foreigner came to China and gave himself a China name, Mao Wei. He is looking for a job in China. He came to a company and a man asked him, "What's your last name?" He replied, "My last name is Wei." "Wei what?" "Why? Why am I surnamed Wei? Needless to say? "
One day I went to a restaurant to eat jiaozi with a foreign friend.
The beautiful service lady came to ask. Friends always miss any opportunity to practice Chinese and say, "How much is it to sleep?"
The young lady was very embarrassed, so she was very angry. I quickly explained that he was asking jiaozi how much.
3. There is a Mr. Huang, whose son is called Huang Jun. He often takes his son on the No.8 bus, so there is often a funny scene: Mr. Huang takes his son to the station and sees a No.8 bus entering the bus station in the distance. He immediately shouted to his son around him: Huang Jun, run, the 8th is coming!
In ancient times, there was a newly appointed county magistrate who asked his housekeeper to buy a bamboo pole. Because the county magistrate is a foreigner and his accent is different from that of the locals, the housekeeper went to the market to buy pig liver as soon as he heard that the bamboo pole was pig liver, and blackmailed two pig ears into his pocket. After coming back, the county magistrate was furious and said, "Who told you to buy pig liver? Where are your ears? " ? ! "Hearing this, the housekeeper got a fright. She took two pig ears out of her pocket and said, "These are two ears. "
5. A foreign girl married to China. At breakfast, she was pointed out that she could not eat fried dough sticks: "You dip them in."
She stood up at once and was told, "Take a dip!" Confused, she said indignantly, "Let me eat standing up. I have stood up. Where should I stand? "
China's homophonic joke hurts the stomach 4 1, with ten bamboos and one leaf.
There was a poet named Wang in the Northern Song Dynasty. He was very arrogant when he was young. I'm a little ignorant. I always feel capable. One day, he went to a garden to play and saw a bamboo forest. Bamboo is green and looks good. Wang Qi saw it and immediately thought of a joint sentence. I began to write: Ye Feng has a thousand swords; I am so angry. Wang Qi compared drooping bamboo leaves to swords and straight bamboo poles to spears, which is an image. He showed this couplet to his friends, and everyone praised him for his good writing. Wang Qi happily posted couplets on the wall of the house. He also boasted: "If anyone can change a word, I will give him twelve taels of gold for free!" " "How crazy. A few days later, Su Dongpo, a college student, visited him and saw the couplets. He didn't say anything. Pretend to say to Sue, "I wrote these two sentences. Please give me your advice. Su Dongpo smiled and said to Wang Qi, "This couplet is good, but it takes ten bamboos to spell a Ye Er!" ! "Come to think of it, Wang Qi, yes! I wrote Chiba and Wan Gan. There are fewer bamboos in Ye Er, and an average of ten bamboos can grow a piece of Ye Er. What is this called bamboo? Wang Qi's face looks like a big red cloth. She thanked Su Dongpo assiduously and said, "Well said, well said. "From now on, Wang Qi is no longer crazy, she is learning honestly. Since then, he has become a poet with real talent and learning. According to Wei Songqing's Poet Jade Scrap, Volume 11.
2. People in Front is a good match. Prime Minister Kou Zhun was a famous prime minister in the Northern Song Dynasty.
One day, he chatted with several senior officials and wrote a couplet for them to come: underwater day is the sky day; The sun in the water is just the shadow of the sun in the sky. Hearing this, these big officials stared at each other with small eyes, and no one could compare with them. It happened that day that Yang Danian came to see the Prime Minister Kou. Kou Zhun talked with Yang Danian about business and told him the first part just now. Yang Danian stared at Kou Zhun's eyes. After a little thinking, he immediately replied: the person in the eye is the person in front of him. Kou Zhun is talking about the shadow of the sun, and Yang Danian is talking about the figure. When I stand in front of your eyes, your eyes will definitely reflect my figure. This is called "the person in the eyes is the person in front of you". Readers, if you don't believe me, just stare into other people's eyes and try! According to Ouyang Xiu's Record of Returning to the Field, Song Zengmin published Du Xing Magazine.
3. Yang Danian correctly scolded the traitor Yang Danian, became an academician, and worked as an assistant minister of the Ministry of Industry in the imperial court (equivalent to a deputy minister).
Yang Danian looks very energetic, especially when his beard is thick and long, which is over his chest. It's really beautiful. It was early in the morning. Yang Danian came out of the palace and happened to meet Ding Weisong. Ding Wei looked at Yang Danian's long beard in the Song Dynasty and joked with him: the worship of Neihan must sweep the floor; Neihan is Hanlin. It means that when you, a bearded academician, kowtow to the emperor [Tiá o zhǒ u], your beard sweeps the floor like a broom. Who is this Ding Wei of the Song Dynasty? This is a big shot! Ding Wei and treacherous court official Wang Qinruo in Song Dynasty pushed out Kou Zhun, the prime minister of Northern Liao Dynasty, and finally he became prime minister and Jin Wengong. Ding Wei and Wang Qinruo in Song Dynasty, as well as three bad guys, were called "Five Ghosts of the Imperial Court". Yang Danian hated GREAT GHOST in Five Ghosts for a long time. Song took a look and replied coldly: "xianggong is sitting in the sky!" "xianggong" refers to Ding Wei, the prime minister of the Song Dynasty: the "curtain" is a big tent. Yang Danian is saying that you, the prime minister, crowd out good people and monopolize the court. You can really dominate the world! When Song Dynasty heard that Yang Danian turned to scold himself, he was very angry. But on second thought, I confessed it myself, and I couldn't be angry, so I had to laugh a few times. According to Song Ouyang Xiu's Return to the Field.
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