Collect a joke for me

1. One day, the hen was flying on the roof, and the owner said angrily, "If you don't come down, I will kill all the cocks here, making your life worse than death." The hen smiled and said, "Finally, we can find the duck." . . . "

My brother said: I bought a cup with "I want a raise" printed on it. Point these words at the boss at every meeting. Finally one day, the boss also bought a cup, which said "fuck off"!

The manager said: from today, your monthly salary will increase to 5000 yuan!

The employee replied: Yes, long live the manager! Manager, is it because the company is profitable?

The manager said: No, because today is April Fool's Day!

I met a beggar at the station. He has a piece of paper in his hand, which says: I am deaf and dumb, please give me some charity. I suspected that he was a liar, so I said, sorry, I can't read. Then he spoke: Brother, my wallet was stolen and I have no money to buy a ticket home. Please lend me some money. I'm surprised: aren't you deaf? He was also surprised: can't you read?

5. I visited a friend's Q space today, and I have to answer questions before I can enter. The question is "Is the bat a bird or a beast?". I think it's a multiple choice question. Choose 1, and I will answer the bird first. Wrong. I chose the beast, and the result was still wrong. NND, I don't believe it. Also, I Baidu me. The answer is' mammals'. The result is still wrong. Fill in a' beast' directly. As a result, he collapsed on the spot and went in.

6. Tomb-Sweeping Day has arrived. Last night, my family and I went downstairs to burn paper money to worship our ancestors, leaving my sister to look after the house. As soon as I came back, my sister said to me, "Brother, a few people talked to you on the Internet just now, and I helped you reply!" " "I looked at the message record curiously. It turned out that ... Oh, my God, my sister actually replied to me: I'm sorry, my brother is gone, and he can't come up to talk to you unless I help him burn paper ...

7.a: Sister, if someone cheated you on April Fool's Day, how long would you forgive him?

B: It is God's business to forgive him. My task is to send him to God.

8. Uncle asked Xiaoluoli the way: How can I get to the Public Security Bureau?

The little girl looked at her uncle and asked, Do you want to go on foot or by bus?

"You can go by car? By car, of course! "

So, the little girl handed the wallet in her arms to her uncle: Take this. After the uncle took the wallet, the little loli immediately shouted: robbery! Ten minutes later, uncle left the scene in the van of the public security bureau.