The classical Chinese I wrote is very funny.

1. Funny ancient prose is speechless, and the bar lights are like hemp. Lonely people spill hops in the middle of the night and are still drunk. Don't be the smell of wine in their hearts. 1 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ The solution is "only the flowing water comes from the source", so we still insist on water ~ ~) 3. Why * * * cut the candle at the west window, _ _ _ _ _ Student A: The husband and wife sit in the morning (the Chinese teacher laughs when marking the paper.

After class, I fainted again! The correct solution is "late rain time". Mayfly shook the tree, and _ _ _ _ _ replied: I didn't move at all (the correct answer is "ridiculous". Quietly, wonderful, very in line with the facts. 5. The beauty of a gentleman as an adult, _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Also: both husband and wife go home (the correct answer is "but I feel the harmonious heartbeat of the sacred unicorn") 10. Sunrise in the east and rain in the west, _ _ _ _ _ _ Student A: Fighting at the end of the bed, getting married in the wrong sedan chair 1658.

The positive solution is "* * * Chanjuan thousands of miles away") 13. Egrets fly in front of Mount Cisse, and _ _ _ _ _ _ Students answer: Climb the turtle by the river in Dongcun (right) 14. I advise God to be energetic, _ _ _ _ _ _. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Student A: Show your magic at the critical moment. Another student A: The mouse's son can make holes (the Chinese teacher in the whole office laughs wildly without images). 16. If it is sentimental, it will be old. _ _ _ _ _ _ Student A: People don't waste their youth! (The positive solution is "If the moon is long and round, I don't hate it", and Li He's "Golden and Copper Immortal Ci Han Song") 17. If relatives and friends in Luoyang ask each other, _ _ _ _ _ _ students answer: Please don't tell him (the correct answer is "a piece of ice heart is in the jade pot") 18. There will be couplets in the final exam. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Student A: You are a fool if you don't eat. No one has died since ancient times. _ _ _ _ _ _ Student A: Only 20 people died. The bright line at the foot of my bed, _ _ _ _ _ Student A: Li Bai's sleeping sound is 2 1. The correct answer is "visible") 22. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ The classmate replied: Wife, my wife and a man's wife (the teacher later said that the classmate was particularly dedicated, haha) 27. Think that year, Jin Ge iron horse, students answer _ _ _ _ _ _ _. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ "Student A: It tastes the same (the invigilator and the headmaster outside laughed). Senior one students in pairs, "Going to town to hug the mountain in the white clouds, _ _ _ _ _ _" Student A: I went to the hotel to hug the young lady to bed (his Chinese teacher almost vomited blood on the spot) 30. Two feelings. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Student A: When they got married, it was 3 1. Qian Fan is on the side of the sunken ship. _ _ _ _ _ Student A: There are many kinds of flowers to be proud of. 32. You hate books when you use them. _ _ _ _ _ _ Student A: There is not enough money by the end of the month. ) 35. I once tested Li Qingzhao's dream, "Do you know? Do you know that?/You know what? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ "The classmate replied: Sorry, I don't know.

The correct solution is "green manure and red thinness") 36. Once I tested a sentence from Mr. Lu Xun: "_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ If you don't leave, I will always feel good when I leave. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

There is another sentence, the last sentence: "Clear water produces hibiscus, (positive solution) natural carving." Some people write that mud gives birth to lotus roots; Some people are even more unique, and it says: Heroes in Gone with the Times 40. Ask how much you can worry about. _ _ _ _ _ _ Student replied: It's like a pot of Erguotou (the teacher criticized "You drank too much again ...").

Who can give me some funny ancient prose * Bernard Shaw liked riding a bike when he was young. Once he broke his leg bone, and his female classmates took good care of him. Bernard Shaw is worried that he will not be firm and will propose to this female classmate. He decided to slip away. But he accidentally fell down the stairs and both his legs fell off. As a result, he really asked her if she would marry him. Bernard Shaw fainted when the female classmate nodded. A lady said to Mao Mu: I've been with a man for a long time, but I'm not sure if I'm in love with him. This famous writer has a very unique view on the test of love. He said: there is only one way to test whether you really love him. Would you like to brush your teeth with his toothbrush? Someone asked Dumas: Why can you stride into old age with great composure? He retorted disapprovingly: It took me all my life to live today. When a famous figure in the Tang Dynasty was not an official, he once became seriously ill and said to his wife Lu: If I die of illness, don't be widowed and remarry. Lu went into the room and gouged out an eye to show that she would never change her mind. Later, Fang recovered from illness and rose to the high position of prime minister. She always respected her wife. Detective novelists say: archaeologists are ideal husbands. You see, the older things get, the more he likes them. Voltaire visited Britain on 1727, and he found that the British hated the French very much. A group of Englishmen shouted at him: Kill him and hang the Frenchman! Voltaire said: English! You want to kill me because I'm French. Isn't it hard enough to be punished because I'm not English? The Englishman smiled and sent him all the way back to the apartment.

3. Riding a princess in the world of mortals, talking and laughing, litchi came running to me.

Ghosts knock at the door in the middle of the night, and passers-by want to die.

If relatives and friends in Luoyang ask each other, they will say that I have gone to America.

Mochow has no bosom friend in the future, and the sea is full of flowers.

Living is a hero, and dying is love.

I advise you to drink one more glass of wine. There is no one on the road.

Peacock flies southeast, I'll chase it.

Go out and laugh, (come back depressed)

The conference semifinals dared not go south to herd horses, so they had to go north to resist Japan.

Clear water produces hibiscus, game-writing protocol washes silver gun.

The desert is lonely and straight, and it bends when the wind blows.

Pick some and don't forget to add the best to us.

4. Funny China Classical Butcher can damage the chief father's hill without starting a business halfway.

Today, we have a huge soup. Fiona Fang is seven miles away. This sincerity can be a tree with an inch diameter, a piece of jade, a beautiful island and a rock. However, the guards' ministers were filthy, loyal ministers were frozen thousands of miles away, and snow drifted in Wan Li. The cover chased the butchers all day to see the beautiful scenery of the field, and the more they looked, the more they entered.

Sincerely, it is advisable to cut bamboo and take the road and go to the countryside to feel homesick. Don't hold a holy meeting and stab me in the face to block the way of loyalty. The palace is full of smelly oil and rotten sauce, and there are rows of fines.

If there are criminals, honest and kind, they should show their tails and bare their breasts to show their unkindness. Assistant ministers Yu Shinan, Zhang Suiyang, Zhang, etc. Are they all animals? Do they jump big? , is a butcher like a tourist, Jane.

Fools think that if they learn to read, they can "click" and read the drums all around and scatter tirelessly. Donkeys and generals in Guizhou love to make noises during sex. He tried in the past. The butcher called it "two wars, and he wanted to go first" because he regarded Zhong Yong as a satrap.

Fools think that knowing the dispute will make their flag weak, and their chaos will be invincible. Feet confused, eyes blurred. This is why the Han Dynasty was so prosperous; I was confused by my own eyes, I was confused by my own feet. Since then, the Han Dynasty has been so depressed.

When the butcher is around, every time I look at his minister with a knife, I sigh that I am not a good marksman. Taihang, the palace, the son of the neighbor, the snake god, I know that I am a minister who died of chastity. I hope your majesty believes that then the Han Dynasty will be overthrown and nothing can be done.

I don't know who Chun Han is, but he is as tall as two millet. He devoted his whole life to the hidden place in the north, risking his life for the people of Wen Da in Chu. The butcher does not regard his ministers as fierce and chivalrous, but cares about him from left to right. Thanks to the three ministers in the Broken Mountain Temple, the butcher was allowed to live a quiet life with his territory and could not stay long.

When the latter value is overturned, when it is appointed at the end of the road, it ranks between two stocks, and it is useless for you to come. The butcher knew that my minister had thrown my food bar and cup aside, and I couldn't eat or drink, so he knocked my minister to the ground.

Since he was appointed, he has always supported yellow on the left and blue on the right. He only knew how to shoot an eagle with a bow, and he was afraid that the entrustment would not work, so he hurt the young madman of the first emperor. So he brushed Zhang Suiyang with his sleeve and didn't dare to play. Today, the South China Sea has decided that the military revolution is not unyielding, and there is not much rice and millet. When the three armed forces were awarded prizes, they ordered the barbecue for 800 miles, but they were mixed with the former dynasty.

Therefore, the minister reported that the butcher's duty was to go home by the wind. As for the losers who sing on the road and the walkers who rest in the trees, Yu Shinan, Suiyang and Fang Ping will be appointed.

May your majesty languish for Iraq. If not, shoot it and sue the butcher knife.

If there are no novelists, blame the south, which has no good opinion of Yang and is slow to respond. Your majesty will also entertain guests and cut his throat.

I am very grateful to you. I am far away now. I'm fighting two wars, and I want to go first.

5. Write a humorous joke in classical Chinese (short). A man is extremely stingy. When he met a new rising stream, he crossed the river miserly, but waded in despair. When he reached the midstream, the water washed down and drifted for half a mile. His son looked for a boat to save him from going ashore. The boat asked for money, and he only paid five cents. When his father was dying, he turned to cry for his son.

translate

He is very stingy. Once, when he was on the road, he met a newly rising river. Although he could cross the river by boat, he was afraid to pay for the boat, so he waded across the river regardless. Just to the middle of the river, it was washed down by the water and drifted for more than half a mile. His son is on the shore, looking for a boat to save him. The boatman said that he could only go by boat, and his son bargained for him, saying that he would only give five points. This bargaining dragged on for a long time.

"My son, my son, you can save it in five minutes and not a penny!"

6. Humorous classical Chinese tells a new story. Xie Taifu is as cold as ice, telling the child the meaning of the paper.

Suddenly it began to snow, and Gong said cheerfully, "What is snow like?" ? Brother Hu said, "It's a bad idea to sprinkle salt in the air." . Brother and daughter said that if catkins were not due to the wind.

"Laugh loudly. Compare spring catkins to winter snow ... If you are a girl, you have to take a nap today. If you don't leave me, fuck you, you will have no less than two or three sentences.

Anger also, people who take a nap, not only me, but also the focus. What's more, I haven't lost my mind, and I am very wronged. What can you do? If you really have the ability, why are more than half of the students lying on the chopping board? Six out of ten people hate you. Are you okay? Its number can be seen.

Let bygones be bygones, but today's events are hateful and make me angry. Mother is sincere, and mother is not happy.

A meat thief went to Beijing to sell meat, stopped to urinate in front of a toilet on the side of the road and hung the meat outside. Seeing this, the second man stole the meat.

Before he went far, A came out of the toilet, grabbed B and asked B if he had seen anyone take his meat from the toilet. B was afraid that A would see through, so he put the meat in his mouth early and said impatiently, "You are such an idiot! How to hang the meat outside the door without losing it? If you put meat in your mouth like me, is there any reason to lose it? " -Han Weiyuchun's "Laughing Forest" name game Xu Zhicai, the king of Xiyang in the Northern Qi Dynasty, is very eloquent, especially good at word games.

When he is not the king, he tries to play with the king, a senior minister. Wang laughed at the name and said, "Your name is Zhicai. What's the point? In my opinion, it is similar to call it' lack of talent'. "

Hearing this, he immediately laughed at Wang's surname: "The word Wang is added to the left of the word, 呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄呄2157

On another occasion, Xu Zhicai entertained guests, and Lu Yuanming was present. During the dinner, Lu Yuanming made fun of his surname and said, "The word' Xu' means not entering the people (Wei added' Yu' and' Jin')."

He immediately mocked Yuan Ming's surname-the word "Lu": "The word" Lu "means that" An "prints a public character as" Lu ",and then matches it with a horse as a donkey." Lu Yuanming was flushed and speechless, and the people in the room laughed their heads off.

-Old title Sui Hou Bai's "Qi Yan Lu" Bird's Nest and calf Hou Bai later became an official of the Tang Dynasty, often with solve riddles on the lanterns. Hou Baixian made three chapters for everyone: "What you guess must be a visible object; Second, you can't make empty explanations to confuse everyone; Third, if the explanation is finished, but you can't see this thing, you should be punished. " Then he first made a riddle: "The back is as big as a house, the abdomen is as big as a pillow (the crossbar behind the car), and the mouth is as big as a cup."

Everyone guessed for a long time, but no one guessed right. They all said, "Where is an object with a mouth as big as a cup and a back as big as a room?" There is no such thing. You must make a bet with all of us. Hou Bai finished gambling with everyone and explained, "This is a swallow's nest. "

They burst out laughing. On another occasion, Hou Bai attended a large banquet.

During the dinner, everyone asked him to make a riddle for entertainment. What you guess can neither be strange nor difficult to understand, nor can it be abstract and untrue.

Hou Bai replied, "There is something as big as a dog and looks like an ox. What is this? " Everyone has been speculating, some say it's roe deer, others say it's deer, but they are all denied.

Let Hou Bai tell the answer. Hou Bai laughed and said, "This is a calf."

-The old title "Qi" by Sui Houbai asks for the name of Tianbao. In his early years, the famous secret supervisor He wrote to the court and wanted to retire to his hometown of Wuzhong. Xuanzong Li Longji respected him very much and treated everything differently.

When He Zhangzhi left, he said goodbye to Tang Xuanzong, and his eyes were full of tears. Tang Xuanzong asked him what other requirements he had.

Zhang Zhi said: "I know that Zhang Zhang has a son who hasn't been named yet. If your majesty gives it a name, I will be honored to return to China. " Xuanzong said: "Faith is the core of Tao. Blessed people have faith.

Qing's son should be called Fu. "Know chapter thank humbly.

It took me a long time to realize. I thought to myself, "The emperor is so happy with me. I'm from Wu, and the word' fu' is the word' claw' followed by the word' zi'.

He named my son Fu, didn't he call my son's paw? -Gao Songyi's "Living in Groups" does not know what poetry is. Ai Zi likes to write poems. One day, Ai Zi swam between Qi and Wei and stayed in a hotel.

In the evening, he heard someone talking next door: "A song." After a while, he said, "One more song."

Ai Zi was baffled and sleepy all night. Lying until dawn, * * * heard the man in the next room say about six or seven times, that is, six or seven songs.

Ai Zi thought that the man in the next room must be a poet. He was quietly absorbed in poetry at the foot of the mountain, and he felt respect in his heart. He also liked this man's quick thinking and decided to get to know him. Early in the morning, Ai Zi got dressed and got up, adjusted her crown belt and stood at the door to meet her.

Soon, a peddler-like man came out of the next room, thin and ill. Ai Zi was disappointed, thinking: With this respect, you look like a poet. Perhaps, people can't judge people by their appearances, and they can't guess blindly.

He went up to him and asked, "I heard that Mr. Wang has many poems." Can I see them? " The man said, "I'm a businessman and I never know what poetry is."

Has refused to come up with poetry. Ai Zi stubbornly said, "I heard you say' one' in the house last night, and then you said' one'. Isn't that a poem? " Hearing this, the man couldn't help laughing: "You misunderstood.

Last night, my stomach was upset. Every time I have diarrhea, I can't find toilet paper at night, so I wipe it with my hands. Diarrhea lasted all night, and my hands were dyed almost six or seven times.

When I say' hand', I don't mean the first poem. "Ziyi listened, ashamed.

-The Word Game of Lao Shi's Essays on Ai Zi Su Dongpo heard that Wang's Essays on Words had just been written, so he went to the office to congratulate him and joked: "In the masterpiece, it is said that' bamboo' whips and' horses' are' Benedict'. But I still have a question: "I don't know what's so funny about whipping dogs with bamboo?" Gong Jing just laughed and asked, "Is there any evidence that the word' pigeon' is changed from' bird' to' nine'? Dongpo immediately replied, "The Book of Songs says,' The dead pigeon is in mulberry, and his son is seven'. Together with their parents, it is exactly nine. "