Adhere to the bright spot principle and ignite children's self-confidence

? I recently heard a friend talk about a conversation with his son. One night, my son went out for a drink and came home with a red face. He asked his son how many drinks he had, and his son said he had two. My friend said that after only two drinks, my face turned red. Not as good as mine. I said to my friend, "you should say this: you are great, much better than your father." When your father is so old, he can't even drink. Then he can drink three cups. "

? Video with my son at work at night. My son said that he was studying. I am very happy to hear that. I quickly asked what to study. The son said, "To learn to sleep, we should study whether to sleep well in this position or that position." I knew he was joking as soon as I heard it. I smiled and said, "You are very good. You will learn by doing. Is there a result? " He smiled and said, "I fell asleep as soon as I slept. I haven't tried." I said, "Sleeping is a big topic. Some people sleep well, others don't. You think I can't sleep well, but you and your mother sleep soundly. If you can solve this problem, you can get important research results and your contribution will be great. "

? Although the above two things are jokes, they contain a lot of philosophy.

? The first thing reflects the thinking of parents, let them compare themselves with their children and deny them. In fact, parents are not as capable as their children now. The result of this is to hit the child's self-confidence and make him feel that he can't do it. What should I do? Parents should learn to play dumb. Even if your children can't compare with you, you should belittle yourself and encourage your children to be more confident and better. Another mistake parents make is to compare the advantages of other children with the disadvantages of their own children. We adults don't like family members to compare ourselves with others, and we don't like children. I remember a wife who said that others were good and her husband was bad, and her husband would say, He is so good, why don't you follow him? It made everyone break up in discord. There was a mother who praised other people's children and compared her own son. The son told her directly: "Mom, I don't like to compare with others. I want to be myself. It is conceivable that children don't want to compare with others. There are no two identical leaves in the world. Everyone is different from others, and no one will become anyone. The most important thing is to compare with yourself, see the advantages and highlights, and see the progress every day.

? The second thing, although I am joking, I also talk to my children in a positive, encouraging and guiding way. First of all, I'm sure children will learn by doing, and let them know that they can learn by doing besides books. Secondly, it is pointed out that sleep is actually an important topic, and it is also a great contribution to study how to make people who can't sleep sleep well, so as to guide children to learn and keep learning, and let them understand that sometimes casual chat will imply the direction of research, useful information and beneficial enlightenment. Therefore, parents should pay attention to guide their children in the chat, make him confident and upward, and make every chat valuable and have a positive impact.

? There is a principle in psychology called the shining point principle, which is to find the shining point of a child, make the child aware of his own shining point, thus generating a sense of self-worth and feeling that he is a good child, essentially a good child. Parents should open their eyes to see the advantages of their children, see the good side of their children and explore the advantages behind their shortcomings. With support and encouragement to help children, children are more likely to get rid of shortcomings. When children find the feeling of being a "good boy" and can feel the warmth and expectation of their parents at any time, they will be full of confidence in themselves and gradually become interested in what they have learned.

? The bright spot is the advantage, bright spot. Based on the bright spot principle, we can establish two orientations. One is advantage-oriented, which first looks at people's advantages, looks more, magnifies and praises, giving people a sense of self-confidence and value. According to the 28 Law, everyone has 80% advantages and 20% disadvantages. Psychological research shows that if we keep staring at the advantage of 80% to encourage it, this 80% will be infinitely enlarged to 100%. And if we keep staring at 20% shortcomings to criticize the attack, then 20% shortcomings will be infinitely magnified to 100% shortcomings, and 80% advantages will be submerged and eaten. The second is longboard guidance. In the same way, everyone will have long boards and short boards in learning and development. The barrel theory has been educating us to make up the short board, but we often forget to add the long board when making up the short board. After all, people live on a long board. It is important to make up the short board, but it is more important when the long board is long enough. Therefore, instead of complementing each other, it is better to show their strengths. In fact, developing advantages will also bring disadvantages. It is embodied in the cultivation of children to discover, awaken and guide their talents and potentials, support and encourage their specialty development and personality development, and become a better and more beautiful self.

? There are six main ways to use the bright spot principle.

? 1. First confirm the advantages of magnifying children;

? 2. Let children realize their own advantages, thus generating self-worth and enhancing their desire for self-improvement;

? 3. Guide children to associate shortcomings with pain;

? 4. Maximize the pain;

? 5. Replace this shortcoming with corresponding advantages;

? 6. Combine this advantage with happiness until a habit is formed (this is the key point).

? There are four key steps:

? 1. Discover the advantages of children;

? 2. Strengthen this advantage;

? 3. Closely link advantages with children's happiness, so that children can fully enjoy the happiness brought by advantages.

? Once a child makes a mistake, especially a mistake of principle, it is impolite to associate this mistake with the child's pain. The purpose is to let children know what to do and do it better; You can't do it.

? Parents should master the bright spot principle, so should teachers. (June 65438+1October 65438+May 2022)