No, there’s still some left at home.

I had an appointment with a beautiful girl. After watching the movie, she invited me to her home. I felt that I couldn’t go there empty-handed, so I said I would go to the supermarket to buy something first, but she was shy at this time. Tell me, no need, there is still some left at home

One day I asked my girlfriend to send me a photo. She sent it the next day, and I replied "Yeah." She was very unhappy and asked: Do you know what it means when a girl sends you a photo? I thought about many answers but they were all wrong. Then she said: It means that I spent at least 3 hours, changing 10 sets of clothes, doing more than 200 poses, using more than 100 expressions, and deleting more than 100 photos to choose this one. Why the hell are you just "Hmm" "One sentence?"

I am in urgent need of money, so I transferred a bottle of Sprite. I bought it on the 9th of last month, and I just drank it. There is still a lot of gas in it. I usually don’t want to drink it. I keep it in the refrigerator, 90% new, fake. One penalty and ten, it is really delicious, a small sip will cool your heart and make your heart soar! Let’s talk privately about the price. If you can’t afford it, don’t say anything. When everyone is in urgent need of money, don’t laugh at anyone. I bought my Sprite from a regular supermarket, so don’t bother me if you don’t have the ability.

I went to visit an Indian customer with my second-hand colleague. The office was very hot. The customer only wore a short-sleeved shirt, which exposed the thick body hair on his arms. The second-hand colleague asked me: Brother , do you think he should use shower gel or shampoo when taking a bath?

A friend in the group asked for help: "My daughter-in-law listened to folk remedies saying that children's urine is good for health, so she asked my son to urinate some, but why did he still get sick after drinking it..." A friend replied: "The temperature is not controlled well. , the medicine is not effective, please taste it first when I give it to you next time..."

During the blind date, my first impression of her was not very deep. When he invited her to have his first meal, there was no spark in the conversation. However! When I went to pay the restaurant owner dejectedly. When I looked back subconsciously. When I saw her, at some point, she asked the waiter for a steamed bun and stuffed it into her mouth with the bottom of the plate on it. A decision suddenly came to me. In this life, it’s her! Easy to raise~

I made 10 dumplings and worked all afternoon. I turned around and found that the little bastard had thrown all the dumplings on the ground. I was so angry that I wanted to beat him. Then I persuaded myself, my son, to be calm! But after holding in the anger for a long time, it didn't go away. At this time, the son spoke: Mom, won't you scold me?

After confessing to the goddess, she said: "If you are twenty centimeters away from me and can touch me without using your head, hands or feet, I will agree to be with you." At that time, I felt very excited after hearing this, so I took off my pants and found that they were a little short. Then I had an idea and peed all over her. I just want to ask my friends if this situation counts as meeting her. I'm afraid she won't admit it when she sees me next time.

Today, I went to the hospital for a physical check-up and had a long queue. Team! It's finally my turn. As a result, a very calm old man next to him rushed forward and sat in front of the doctor. The doctor said that the young man should be seen first. They had been waiting for so long, but the old man pretended not to hear and remained motionless. I smiled and said to the doctor: I didn’t let him see it in advance. Anyway, I don’t have long to live. The uncle fainted on the spot and is still on an intravenous drip. . .

10 I am a single girl, and often have pure milk instead for breakfast. I was drinking milk this morning, and my colleague told a joke. A mouthful of milk flowed down the corner of my mouth, and it just flowed to my chest. My clothes got wet all over, and at the same time, a male customer came in without mercy.,,Don’t look, I’m really single~

I took my cheap girlfriend to dance on Valentine’s Day. It was her first time to go there. I know how to dance, so I sit on the chair next to me and eat melon seeds, and then I dance on the dance floor by myself. After dancing for a while, I saw a man walking towards his girlfriend. I saw the man gracefully stretched out his right hand, and then his girlfriend gave him a handful of melon seeds. Quotations from older leftover women

1. This is the reality after all. Such cruelty, women can fight against fate, but they cannot fight against time.

2. What men leave behind over time is vicissitudes of life, and what women leave behind over time is aging. Vicissitudes of life are experience, charm, and temptation, while old age is helplessness, pain, and the ending.

3. The greatest misfortune in a woman’s life is not to be born into troubled times, but to encounter an unkind and unjust man.

4. Women all hope to be a man’s only and favorite one. In fact, in a man’s world, the woman he cannot forget the most in his life is not the woman he loves most, nor is he the one he hates most. The woman was not the woman he abandoned, but the woman he felt most sorry for.

5. For women, all pain is greater than being emotionally cheated or bullied.

6. In the game of love, women who understand love usually lose miserably. Love is inherently cruel, and the loser is eliminated.

7. The older a man is, the happier he is, while the older a woman is, the sadder she is.

8. A woman likes a man who makes her laugh, but what she really loves is a man who makes her cry.

9. Women are either angels or devils. An angelic woman is a school that makes bad men peaceful and ambitious. A devilish woman is a cup of poisonous wine of temptation, which makes good men drunk and doomed.

10. Giving up an established marriage, even a wrong marriage, is indeed a huge test for a woman. What is tested is not only a woman's wisdom, but also her courage to face reality.

11. No matter how stupid a man is, he will make a woman in love lose her direction and devote herself wholeheartedly. However, no matter how smart a woman is, no matter how charming she is, she will only confuse a man’s eyes, but it is difficult to penetrate him deeply. soul.

12. A woman can understand a man intuitively, and she can completely understand a man in one night.

13. A woman bets her whole life on a man, which is about wisdom, but in the end it depends on luck.

14. For the man she likes no matter how much she likes him, it is best for a woman to love him 70% and keep 30%. Even if she doesn't love you anymore, women still have a way out.

15. Women are like flowers, and flowers have their flowering period. Once you miss it, even if you show it, you will feel lonely.

16. Many women who are difficult to marry are not really difficult to marry, but they are unable to cross a threshold they have set for themselves.

17. A woman like white wine is the sun in the sky, her rays are the hottest and will always shine above you. A woman like beer is the moon in the sky, a cold light that only comes out at night and disappears at dawn. A woman like red wine is a star in the sky. Her light is faint and farthest from you, but she will always shine in your bright heart.

18. At the crossroads of marriage, the most important thing for a woman is not to choose a suitable path, but to choose a path that does no harm or causes the least harm.

19. Men are always fickle in their hearts, but women are fickle only in their faces.

20. When women bet on love and marriage, they are actually betting on a man. Success or failure depends on wisdom and luck, but never on reason.

21. Women should understand that the best woman in a man’s mind is always the unknown next one. Don't make the mistake of thinking that a man who dares to divorce you is a man worthy of being entrusted with your life.

22. All a woman’s sad past are related to love.

23. A woman may forget the man who once loved her, but no woman can forget the man who once hurt her. A man is hurt for a while, and a woman is hurt for a lifetime.

24. There is no free lunch in the world, and there is no free bed provided by women.

25. A woman’s greatest sense of security is not to have a responsible man who has material and money that can determine her future.

26. Women should live for themselves. No matter whether life is wonderful or not, they should not lose themselves in love.

27. Men should get married in their thirties, and women should marry themselves off before the age of 30. Otherwise, there will always be regrets in life.

28. For women, in the material age, if there is no man who gives you enough confidence to believe in love and look forward to the future, the best way is to choose material and money.

29. Women are like seeds. If they are sown on fertile land, they will blossom and bear fruit, and they will be extremely happy. But if it is spread on barren land, it will wither like mud, and its life will be dark and desolate.

30. Women would rather share with others in the most beautiful season than appreciate themselves when they are lonely.

31. Once a smart woman encounters a bad lover, there is no need to beg. The only thing she can do is to maintain her final dignity and give the bad lover a look that she will regret one day.

32. Most women are infatuated, while most men are promiscuous. Infatuation will always be hurt by love, and infatuation will only be tired by love. No matter how tired a man is, he can't compare to the pain caused by a woman being hurt by love. Sadness is everyone's emotional expression: "The second cup is half price" "No, I'm alone.

1. Just treat you as just a passerby, what qualifications do you have to make a promise to me

2. A small gesture from a stranger makes me miss you for a long time again

3. You are unhappy because you do not love yourself well and often consume yourself because of others.

< p> 4. I thought he was cold-hearted until I saw him greeting another person with my own eyes.

5. I am not a good person, so why should you think highly of me?

6. Love cannot be hidden for a long time, nor can it be pretended for a long time.

7. You say heart-wrenching words to me again and again, but I always choose to forgive you with red eyes. I admit it. It’s me who is too spineless.

8. Believe, wait, and be firm, that person who may not have any results will appear.

9. “The second cup is half price. ! "No, I'm alone." ”

10. No matter how beautiful the plot is, it is still a play; no matter how beautiful the memories are, they are already the past...

11. I am standing on a deserted street corner missing you, but you are there The world of others offers tenderness.

12. Even if there are many people around, I still feel alone.

13. Time has changed the appearance of you and me, but it has left the shadow of when you loved me. .

14. There are too many emotions in sight, but the warmth is so empty

15. Society has taught me that not everyone who smiles at you is good to you. Man.

16. Loving you is so inexplicable, so unyielding. I know that I will not be your only one in this life, but you are the love of my life!

17 , If you don’t work hard now, let alone get married and start a business in the future, I’m afraid you won’t even have the money to buy a cemetery for yourself

18. Even if I love you, I will act like a stranger than a stranger

< p> 19. The fleeting time of a flower can be very long. In your silence, it blooms full and majestic. Because of love, it will never wither.

20. If you can’t change the desert, then I can only find a way to turn myself into a cactus. It doesn't matter, you don't have to be ashamed of me. Anyway, I still have a lifetime to waste with you.

1. Those silent times, those past events as warm as spring water, in the silence Running, they gather into a river, and flowers bloom along the shore, just like our bright future.

2. Don’t laugh at the beach, it will cause a tsunami.

3. I can tell. You, I am not kind.

4. It doesn’t matter, you don’t have to be ashamed of me. Anyway, I still have my whole life to waste with you.

5. Don’t call yourself a boyfriend if you can’t hold him. Female man

6. When I really let you go

7. We all make the same mistake, quarreling with the people we like, and talking to strangers.

p>

8. I want look at you, because I love you

9. If I knew it was the last time, I would not say goodbye with a smile

10. Some It’s not that you don’t say it, but what can you do if you say it

11. A marriage certificate is your name and my last name, but why does love have to be your name and his last name?

12. Even if we are not together in the end, I will be grateful for having you in my life.

13. I have begun to learn to accept the plunder and gifts of reality with peace of mind.

14. I naively thought that a piece of candy could fill the whole world with fragrance.

15. I thought that what I was afraid of was the moment of farewell. It turns out that I was also afraid of reunion.