Wechat tells funny short sentences

1. WeChat humorous personality signature to see your style. You can read some funny articles and intercept 1. People don't attack me, I don't attack; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

I allow you to walk into my world, but I don't allow you to walk around in my world. 3, Ming Sao is easy to hide and hard to prevent.

4. The sky didn't fall on me, so it broke my heart and hurt my bones and muscles. 5, holding the child's hand, I know that the child is ugly and full of tears. If the child doesn't leave, I will leave.

6, red beans don't grow in the south, they grow on my face, I really miss it! 7. I am convinced that a person will come to this world because of my torture. 8. Journey to the West tells us that monsters with backgrounds are all picked up, and those without backgrounds are killed with a stick.

9. What are you unhappy about? Say it to make everyone happy. 10, I like you so much. If you like me, you will die.

1 1. Although you are wearing cologne, I can still vaguely smell a scum. 12, I curse you for buying instant noodles all your life without seasoning packets.

13, how to lose weight without eating? 14, my mother asked me if I had a boyfriend, and I said no, my mother said: this is ok, and I said: this is really not ... 15, the ideal is full, but the reality is very skinny.

16, Lei Feng did a good thing without leaving a name, but everything was recorded in his diary. 17, I'm not RMB, how can everyone like me? ! 18, there is love besides teeth.

19, when life viciously turned everything into black humor, I went with the flow and turned myself into a hooligan with a higher education. 20. Time is too thin and fingers are too wide.

2 1. Little girls want to find a white horse in their dreams. When they opened their eyes, they found that the whole world was a gray donkey. After being heartbroken, they can only choose a strong one from the donkeys. Such a donkey is named: economically applicable person. 22, crying, noisy, staying up all night, holding a bottle of sleeping pills in his hand and hanging himself with a small rope.

No matter how ugly, you have to fall in love. When the world is full of love. 23. Our goal: Look at the money and make a profit.

24. I am a passer-by who you turn around and forget. Why should I spend time with you on earth? 25. During the onset of intermittent depression, strangers should not disturb and acquaintances should not find out. 26. If there is no medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark ... 27. I can't play chess, I can't write calligraphy, I can't draw, and I am tired of washing and cooking.

28, saying that money is evil, it is fishing; Say beauty is a disaster, everyone wants it; It is said that the height is too cold and everyone is climbing; Say that alcohol and tobacco hurt the body and don't quit; Say heaven is the best, don't go! 29. Bus crowding is a comprehensive sport, including Sanda, yoga, judo, balance beam and other sports and fitness projects. 30. When I opened my eyes, I knew you were a monster.

3 1, hands in pockets, nobody loves. 32. Cut the wire with a kitchen knife, sparking and lightning all the way.

33. Being single is not difficult. What is difficult is dealing with people who try their best to make you end being single. 34. What is happiness? Happiness is that you eat fish, I eat meat and watch others chew bones.

35. After studying for more than ten years, I think it is better to mix kindergartens! 36. They said I was BT and asked me to do CT, but I turned out to be ET. 38. I am also an infatuated seed, but it rained ... and I drowned.

39. Many people say that marriage is the grave of love, but love that can be buried underground is better than a corpse in the street. 40. If you have time to learn Feng Shui, you can make up for the regret that you can't afford a good house before you die. It is said that people have only two choices, either get busy dying or get busy living. I think I have a third option: I'm busy waiting for death.

42. Spring is sleepy, summer is weak, and winter is just a deep sleep. 43. You can't miss yourself, you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of yourself, you can't take care of yourself, and you can't give yourself happiness.

44. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me. 45. If you are doomed not to give me the expected response, then keep a safe distance.

Please don't take my tolerance for you as your shameless capital. 47. A woman without talent is a virtue. I must be too evil.

48. Zhuge Liang never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why should I have work experience? 49. Live the blues spirit of hip-hop like erhu.

50. The happiness of an ostrich is just a pile of sand. 5 1, God, it's so blue! Sea water, too salty! Life is too hard! Work, too annoying! And you, decree by destiny! Miss you, insomnia! It's too far to see you! When I woke up, it was already dark.

53. After drinking the medicine, he handed the bottle, hanged himself with a rope, and the jumper waved a handkerchief to see him off. 54. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

The fool stole the beggar's wallet and was seen by the blind. The dumb shouted at me, which startled the deaf. Camels come forward and lame people fly. The wanted man wants to take him to * *, Asako said, for my sake. You should know the script of your life-it is not the sequel of your parents, the prequel of your children, or the story of your friends.

59. The quieter the tree is, the more I love it. He is not there. 60. I want to wake up and open my eyes one day and find myself sitting on a desk and chair in a primary school classroom.

The chalk thrown by the teacher hit him right on the forehead. 6 1, teenagers don't run amok, they are bold and presumptuous, so where do they get the theme when they are old?

As a monster, my wish is to destroy at least one Altman. 64. In a few decades, we will meet and send them to the crematorium, all of which will be burned to ashes. I don't know any of you people. They will all be sent to the countryside to make fertilizer. 65. The beauty of learning is that people are confused; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying.

66. I thought I was decadent, and I didn't know that my morning paper was scrapped until today. 67. The sign of an immature man is that he can die bravely for his ideal, and the sign of a mature man is that he can live humbly for his ideal.

68. Life is the mouth of Song Like Zedd. You never know who will be unlucky next. 69. The sunshine is warm and the years are quiet. How can I get old before you come? 70, people are not smart, but also learn from others to be bald.

7 1 I shine as a god at this beautiful moment. People should not disturb ... When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror; In old age, mirrors are flat. 76.work hard! ! For your Audi, my Dior.

2. Ask for WeChat 1 funny signature. Stick to the wall and pull it out resolutely. 2. Love is not spoken, but made. 3. Pure, fictional, chaotic and beautiful. A toad who doesn't want to eat swan meat is not a good toad. If you get married, marry someone else first, and then you marry me, with his savings and his sister. May your new year be like PetroChina, 48 last year and 24 this year! Yesterday, I saw a flock of geese flying south suddenly turn around and fly north over Guangzhou. The geese in the snow once flew into an S-shape and a B-shape, and finally they were discharged with the words "It's colder in the south". Goose kept saying, "Shit, it's a waste of time this year!" " First, singing and dancing: the lead singer of the joy of the stock market: the accompaniment of the CSRC, the CBRC and the CIRC: all listed companies; Solo: You blindfolded me quietly and sang: All are senile; Sketch: yesterday, today, tomorrow, performance: excellent performance, poor performance, ST, PT; Recitation: I stood on 48 yuan's Gaogang and performed: shareholders of PetroChina; Chorus: We have the ability to perform with money. The woman said shyly, I like two kinds of flowers.

The man asked eagerly, which two? I'll give it to you! The woman whispered: spend if you have money.

3. Let's talk about some humorous WeChat friends. First, the traffic is always a lot like a big aunt at first, and it slowly disappears.

Second, wear other people's shoes, go your own way and let them take a taxi to find it. Third, "senior, can you help me see how to do this problem?" "Junior, do you have a boyfriend?" "I have."

"Junior, I can't do this problem either." 4. Don't make jokes at the seaside, otherwise it will cause the laughter of the sea.

5. If Google and Baidu merge, will they be renamed goodbye? 6. If I die, my first sentence is: I don't have to be afraid of ghosts at last. Seven, big eyes, small legs, small waists, all kinds of lace, and cosmetic contact lenses, is this enough for outsourcing standards? Actually, flies look like this.

Eight, on impulse, the crisis of later generations! Nine, every child who loves to sleep late has a lover who is hard to give up. TA's name is bed. Ten, Singles Day let me live alone, Valentine's Day let me live alone, Christmas Eve let me live alone, Christmas let me live alone, have the ability to test let me live alone.

4. WeChat signature is the most classic WeChat signature is the most classic:

1, a person who often looks back can't go far.

We talk too much, love too little and lie too much.

3, you are not brave, no one is strong for you.

4. Living in my heart, have you paid the rent?

5, looking for the sake of looking, will only get lost in the search.

6. I just want to ask you, if I turn around, are you still there?

7. The distance of a hug is exactly when my thoughts about you freeze.

8. Just because you don't tell doesn't mean you don't know.

9. Hold my hand and walk with your eyes closed. You won't get lost.

10 When we know how to cherish ordinary happiness, we become winners in life.

1 1, either none or all. It is now or never.

12, a life without love is like a dead tree without flowers and fruits.

13, it takes courage to persist, especially to start over.

14, the best way not to be sad is to pretend that you are heartless.

15, happiness does not mean the absence of differences, but the ability to solve differences.

16, love is good together, and parting is deeper.

5. Classic personality signature on WeChat;

(1) I am a person with no background but only a back.

(2) Life is like a cup of tea, it will not be bitter for a lifetime, but it will always be bitter for a while.

Only her life | Only his life

(4) It is easy to hide when it is clear, but difficult to prevent when it is dark.

(5) My future is not a dream but a question mark.

(6) Lack of calcium in childhood and lack of love in adulthood.

(7) Village Chief Erguotou ∣ Yuxi Yellow Crane Tower

(8) The head can be broken, but the hairstyle can't be messy.

(9) I have a left Qinglong, a right White Tiger and a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my shoulder.

(10) After ten years of hard work, I became a monk and punched in. I dreamt of the university in a trance, but my career and love were empty.

(1 1) I am so talented that I may have been a tailor in my last life.

(12) You can't tell jokes at the seaside, because it will cause sea laughter (tsunami).

(13) Q: "Why did Yang Guo jump off a cliff?" A: "Dad is Kang!"

Lovely children, it's Lu Yi's turn. Let's go streaking in the bat pond.

(15) I'm a monkey, and I'm afraid of the horizon because it doesn't intersect (banana).

I hope to adopt ~ ~

6. Anyone who gives a personalized signature to WeChat that is funny and romantic can help to adopt it. There is no deliberate rejection and indifference, and there is no bright and warm disguise. Heart, you need to gently twist a cup of tea and only drink all kinds of flavors until it is getting bleak.

How dazzling are teenagers in your heart, so that you can reach the peak of your dreams?

Quiet, for clouds, means leisure, for waves, means death.

Don't miss the light powder, just care about affection; Do not fantasize about strangers, but cling to Yixing to spread ink; Life is a happy smile and a lonely sadness; Folding flowers on the sleeves, Wushan is old; The skin was raw and full of bones, and the ink penetrated the paper. The sky has eyes open and the earth has tears.

Flashy life, forget a season. If you have time to think back, it will disturb the lingering. The smiling face is gone, and Qian Qian is absolutely lonely. String, thinking about China. Those years were like a dream. Like running water, it's gone forever. Don't cry goodbye, don't complain about the last sadness.

In the faint time, let the sunshine spread in my heart. A beautiful life is a kind of arrival. What this arrival needs is not wealth, but simplicity. This is very simple, you can be sad; Can be lonely; It can be happiness, which can fully present the joys and sorrows of life.

The world of mortals has dreams, the years are blurred, and gossip is embarrassing. Breaking the moment of youth, it only increases sadness and imprisons the emotional sadness polluted by skirts; Beauty flicks her fingers at the old man, scattering fragrance and infatuating with fleeting time; Rouge is stained with ash, flowers are buried in the soul, and swords are broken proudly; Love has a Qian Qian knot, and it will become a paper crane. Who should I send my ideas to? Hate a ray of faint sorrow, turn it into green light, who knows the bodhi?

thank you

7. Come to the WeChat circle of friends 1. In fact, when one person plays another person, what they unconsciously reveal is themselves.

2. If there is a if, let's talk about it in the next life. 3. Thank God for making me lonely and enduring the hardships of my soul.

If you give me a tear, I will see all the oceans in your heart. If you hold my hand and walk with your eyes closed, you won't get lost.

6. Love is a kind of care. Wherever you go, your heart is tied to the tip of your hair. 7. Those cities facing the sky, those washed away faces.

8. When a cigarette falls in love with a match, it is doomed to be injured. The promise made ends the debt owed. 9. I am alone, just waiting for the end of the world.

10. I think I will also set up a fishing rod to capture the story on the other side of the years alone.