Funny classic jokes in life

Funny classic jokes in life

Funny classic jokes in life. In life, everyone has to listen to some funny things or jokes, which can help unhappy people. , I felt happy after listening to it, so what are some funny jokes? Below I have compiled the classic funny jokes in life. Funny classic jokes in life 1

1. Adult life is not easy except gaining weight and losing hair.

2. Don’t look at others who seem to be having a smooth sailing. In fact, they are having a smoother ride than you think behind the scenes.

3. Violence cannot solve any problem. How about we sit down calmly and you praise me for an hour, and we will be reconciled.

4. I finally understand why people choose a good day to get married, because there may not be a good day after marriage.

5. It is said that people who love to laugh will not have bad luck, but people with bad luck can never laugh.

6. The difference between cats and dogs: Dog: This person gives me food, he is probably God! Cat: This person gives me food, I must be God!

7. In fact, there is no need to read all travel guides. They can be condensed into four words: bring more money.

8. I think it is better not to play with mobile phones at home all day. It is better to invite a few friends to go out for a walk, and then find a place to play with mobile phones together.

9. When I was taking the English test, there was a beautiful woman sitting in front of me. She was very serious about writing the paper, so I asked her to copy it for me. She agreed. In the end, I was afraid that the paper would be similar, so I changed a few multiple-choice questions. . In the end, she came last in the exam and I came in second to last.

10. Some people say that I am ugly. I am very sad and feel sorry for her. She is blind at a young age.

11. If pain is at most 10 points, then my pain is like pi, although it is not a lot, it is never-ending!

12. The leader said: "You should treat your work as your own home." So, I strictly followed the leader's instructions, went shirtless and took off my shoes, sat on the sofa and played games, and even called my wife over at noon. Eat hotpot. The leader came back in the afternoon, pointed at his nose and scolded me: "You treat your work as your home!" What a capricious person!

13. "Manager, no, the guests singing in the 888 private room are all out of tune!" The manager came over and slapped him: "I'm not a music teacher, why are you looking for me if you are out of tune!"

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14. The depreciation rate of women is really amazing. It only takes one day to transform from a bride to a wife.

15. I went to a hotel on a business trip and found that there was a strong smell of cigarettes in the room, so I called the front desk. The front desk replied: "Please wait a moment, and we will send someone to make it smoke-free for you immediately." "After a while, a waiter came in and opened all the windows in the room.

16. It’s okay to bask in the sun. Maybe after you get tanned, no one will call you an idiot anymore.

17. It’s not that I don’t know how to make money, it’s not that I don’t know how to save money, it’s just that poverty limits my imagination.

18. The boy who has been chasing me for 5 years secretly gave me a surprise and transferred me a red envelope of 1,314 yuan. It was a little happy. Maybe this is called bragging.

19. If you are really hungry, call me. I will buy snacks as soon as possible and chew them for you.

20. What is it like to have a friend who stutters? The master replied: We describe him as using a 2G signal when he spoke! Funny classic jokes in life 2

1. Since I know that it is better to be a foodie than a crazy person, I think it is better to be a foodie.

2. I met an old classmate on the street today. I didn’t expect that he was so poor, so he only put one dollar into my bowl.

3. God closed a door for you, and then went to wash up and sleep.

4. Others don’t know whether you are doing well or not, but when you gain weight, everyone will know.

5. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I used them to roll my eyes.

6. If you do something wrong, I can let you go. If you cheat on me, I can let you go. If you hurt my heart, I can still let you go! But you have to remember that I have a temper, not a let go!

7. I lie every day, go to bed early tonight, I won’t love you tomorrow.

8. It’s not that reading is useless, but that your reading is useless. The main reason is that you are useless.

9. Chinese Valentine's Day is coming, and it's time to go back to heaven to have a heart-to-heart talk with Yue Lao.

10. Although I am often beaten by my wife, God can tell me that my wife is not an unreasonable person. Before each spanking, she would ask for my consent. If I said no, she would spank me until I agreed.

11. Those who can act are not necessarily actors. Those who can pretend must be grandsons.

12. What is love? The two of them were as ugly as monkeys, and they were worried about each other being snatched away, so they hugged each other tightly!

13. Have you been thrown up several times since you were born, but only been caught once?

14. Puppy love is not terrible now. The terrible thing is that you have lost interest in the opposite sex. .

15. When others praise me, I worry that they don’t praise me enough.

16. The current underground parking lot is designed like a maze. It takes a long time to find it every time before you find that you don’t have a car.

17. Others can go to Paris alone after a breakup, but after a breakup, I can only go to the beef noodle restaurant downstairs. I don’t dare to add eggs to a bowl of beef noodles that cost six yuan.

18. I finally understood a truth: ugly people should study more. No wonder everyone said that I am not good at studying.

19. You should feel free to gain weight. Losing weight is someone else’s business.

20. I heard that ugly people should study more. No wonder my mother said that I was not good at studying since I was a child. Funny classic jokes in life 3

1. Fortunately, I am ugly and have never experienced your love and hatred.

2. When comforting others, you only need a set of ropes. When comforting yourself, you just want to find a rope.

3. If you love several people at the same time, it means you are young; if you only love one person, then you are old; if you love no one, you have been reborn.

4. After growing up, I have mastered a special skill without learning anything else. I can sleep without sleeping pills during the day, and I can be excited without stimulants at night.

5. Life is like a dumpling. Whether you are dragged into the water or you jump into the water yourself, you are not mature if you don’t wade into the muddy water once in your life.

6. Dad, Mom, you should be calm during the parent-teacher meeting, and you should calmly face the teacher's instigation of your relationship with me. I am your biological child. If you believe me, you still believe him!

7. Every winter, the places outside the bed are far away, the places beyond the reach of hands are foreign countries, and every trip to the toilet is a business trip.

8. I get dizzy even when riding on a boat, so how can I use two boats?

9. When I was a child, my father told me that I picked it up next to the trash can. From then on, whenever I was unhappy or sad, I would sit next to the trash can because it felt like home there.

10. The highest expression of friendship is that in the eyes of others, you are both gay!

11. When I was a child, I went to the zoo to see tigers and vowed to raise one when I grew up. After 20 years, my dream finally came true. Enough talking, it’s time to cook for my wife.

12. When I was a child, I compared my grades, and when I grew up, I compared my salary. Now I even compare the number of steps when walking. Please let me go, I just want to be a garbage that is indifferent to the world, but when I actually became a garbage, I found out that I even have to sort the garbage!

Thirteen. When I was in my third year of high school, I went to the bank to apply for a card. The counter gave me a form. The type of certificate I filled in was: rectangular.

14. It takes ten years to lose weight and three minutes to gain weight. It takes ten years to fall in love and three minutes to break up. After ten years of reading, you can forget three minutes. It takes ten years to charge and takes three minutes to use up.

15. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

16. My hobbies can be divided into static and dynamic. Static is sleeping, and dynamic is turning over.

17. Life is like a dream, I always have insomnia; life is like a play, I always get in trouble; life is like a song, I always go out of tune; life is like a battlefield, I always get off track. Summary: miserable life!

18. Making money is a kind of ability, spending money is a kind of skill. My ability is limited, but my skill is very high.

19. I usually like to drive Rolls-Royce and Bentley. When I go out with friends, I drive a Porsche. If I want to go racing, my first choice is Ferrari. Of course, my favorite thing is to joke.

Twenty, they say, don’t be more than sixty percent drunk when drinking, don’t be more than seventy percent full when eating, and don’t be more than eighty percent in love with your lover! But most people often get drunk, overeat, and fall in love like idiots!