The thorn of short love for you falls in the deepest position in my heart.

That day, in a crowded street, my bus just passed a crossroads.

Then, I suddenly saw you through the bus glass. You stand on the far right side of the road, and the morning light falls on your side face.

And I, with my shortness of breath, blushing face and trembling fingers, have been in my heart for thousands of times.

I want to knock hard on the window to get your attention.

I want the driver to stop at once.

I want to jump out of the car at once and run to your side to hug you.

I want to shout your name.

I want to tear the whole world between us.

But in the end, I just watched you pass by me quietly, farther and farther, and finally there was only a fuzzy little black spot left.

You face south, I face north, and between us, it is destined to be two parallel lines in opposite directions.

It's been many years, and it's been 1099 days since we last met.

I sit in the last row of the bus. Obviously, the crowd is crowded and people are buzzing, but my heart is empty, like being submerged in the boundless sea, with no landing and no horizon.

I thought I had completely forgotten about you.

As soon as I saw you, I found that the thorn I missed fell in the deepest part of my heart and was impartial.

Pull it gently, and you are the most open wound in my heart.

Over the years, I have traveled a long way, been to many cities, walked through thousands of waters in Qian Shan and met many people, but I am no longer close to you.

Bai Ji, in the years to come, there will be no more scenery than you.

It's strange, I think your way is not to listen, don't ask, don't look, and don't mention anything about you.

1

Bai Ji is three years older than me.

It is this three-year-old distance that I can't reach his shoulders no matter how I grow up.

We grew up in the same yard. He always pretended to be his brother and told everyone that this was my sister.

He often tells me, son, I will protect you wherever you go in the future.

I will only happily follow Bai Ji's ass and shout happily one after another: Brother Bai Ji, Brother Bai Ji. I stepped on his shadow and walked forward. He goes to the right and I go to the right. He goes left and I go left.

This is how we grew up together.

14 years old that early summer night, about 9 o'clock, I went home with Bai Ji from high school. His classmates told me that Bai Ji ran out of the classroom as soon as the bell rang.

This is the first time that he left without me. I lost all the way. I stepped on the pedal of my bicycle very hard and a pedal flew out. I picked it up, held it in my hand and moved on. Then I hit a nail on the way, and the tire was flat, just like my empty heart.

I held the pedal in one hand and pushed the bike in the other, thinking, this is really the worst day.

In the alley near my home, I saw a bicycle leaning against a camphor tree. I know that bike. It's a green giant with a black kitten painted on it. It belongs to Bai Ji. I seem to suddenly see the light in the dark. I put my bike on the side of the road and just wanted to shout out Bai Jige, but the next second, I covered my mouth and didn't dare to make a sound.

Holding my breath, I crept against the wall and stopped at the corner only 3 meters away from Bai Ji. The pedal on my hand was pinched tightly by my hand, and I sweated slightly. Then, I carefully put my head out and looked in that direction.

Teenagers wear short-sleeved white shirts with bright eyes in the dark and really beautiful smiles. The girl in front of him, with long black hair and a refreshing white skirt, fluttered in the wind on summer nights, bowed her head and giggled, and her voice was as good as the wind chimes sold in the street.

Bai Ji put his hand on the girl's shoulder and looked at the girl's reddish face carefully through the light coming in through the window. As time went by, I stood outside a wall and pushed my bike away quietly.

Ten minutes later, Bai Ji rode a bicycle, landed on one foot and stopped at the gate of the compound.

And I, holding a washbasin, pretended to go to the yard to fetch water and wash my face.

Bai Ji put a bunch of keys in front of me, handed them to me, leaned in and said with a smile, YanLuoLuo, you dropped this.

To my surprise, the key fell so loudly that I didn't notice it. I thought I kicked a pebble on the side of the road.

I took the key and poured cold water on my face, and the water droplets were big and big. The wind is blowing, I'm shivering, but I'm a little cold.

When Gibran entered the door, he suddenly approached me, smiled gently and suddenly, and said, "Her name is Xia Orange, so you must keep my secret."

2

Of course I know her name is Xia orange. I've seen her.

There is only a wall between her house and my yard, but there is a huge gap inside and outside the wall. On the other side of Xia Orange's house is the villa area, and people who come in and out every day are well dressed. On our side, on the low floor, Parthenocissus tricuspidata covered the wall, spread all the way out, passed through the dilapidated outer wall, and shone green in the summer morning light.

I often see her wearing a beautiful skirt and coat, passing in front of me like the wind. It's just that she never pays attention to me and always wears a washed-out dress.

Compared with Summer Orange, I am poor, timid and unattractive.

My only pride is that my grades have always been among the best, as good as Bai Ji's, and I will hardly fall behind the third place.

Because I know the secret between them, they don't avoid me on dates, and sometimes they take me out on weekends. Every weekend afternoon, they will sit on the stone table in the yard and do their homework together. Bai Ji will help Xia Orange with her homework and teach her to do complicated math problems. Bai Ji sits close to the summer orange, and occasionally his hands touch each other, and then they smile at each other with their lips pressed.

I sat opposite them, saw these clearly, and remembered the worries of young girls.

Later, Bai Ji won the first prize in the national physics competition and a bonus, and invited us to a western restaurant for steak.

It was my first time to eat steak. I can't tell the difference between medium rare and medium rare. I told the waiter that the more cooked I am, the better. I don't like to eat meat with blood.

Xia Chen told me with a smile that the more steak is cooked, the better it tastes.

I don't know. I have a fork in my left hand and a knife in my hand. My hand at cutting steak is clumsy and laborious.

After dinner, Bai Ji told me, Yan, you go home first.

I got on my bike obediently. On the way, I found that I forgot to bring my Chinese book and turned back.

Outside the restaurant, through the big French window, I saw the young man's thin lips gently fall on the girl's forehead.

My heart is like a hard stone, and my diaphragm hurts.

Only later, and Xia Orange were known to the teachers and parents of the school. Puppy love, after all, is the most opposed thing in school. Moreover, Bai Ji has always been a popular candidate for Tsinghua Peking University. The teacher paid special attention to this matter and invited both parents.

I handed in a lot of newly collected English exercise books to the teacher's office and happened to pass by.

And Xia Orange stood at the entrance of the Academic Affairs Office, staring at each other in the scorching sun, secretly holding hands while the teacher was away. Then they looked at each other and giggled.

But in my eyes, they all smiled so beautifully in the sun.

At first, it was Xia Orange who taught me what love is.

three

And summer orange finally separated.

When I came home from school, it was already sunset, and the afterglow of the sunset was warmly sprinkled on them. Bai Ji leaned against the wall, his eyes fixed on the ground, one foot lifted, and a stone landed at my feet.

He didn't say a word in silence, and Xia Orange ran away crying.

The creeper on the old wall has grown more luxuriantly, and the tiles on the top are mottled and swaying green everywhere.

Bai Ji stood there with a cold face. He saw me, took a deep breath and said, girl, let's go home.

But I can clearly see the tears still swirling in his eyes. I took Bai Ji's hand and looked at him stupefied. Bai Ji, you still have me.

This is my first time. My name's not Bai Ji, man.

But Bai Ji walked on without noticing what I said.

I want to tell him that I know everything.

That day, I happened to pass by the Academic Affairs Office. The teacher called Xia Orange into the office. Xia Orange's mother came out and said only one word to Bai Ji. She said condescendingly, I know your family. Your parents are just ordinary workers. How can I be worthy of summer orange?

Bai Ji's face turned pale at that moment. He bit his lip and stared stubbornly at Xia Orange's mother without saying a word.

Time passed slowly and leisurely.

From that day on, Bai Ji worked very hard every night, and Bai Ji never finished second. In the end, he was admitted to the best university in China as he wished.

And I'm serious. I wrote in my diary that my wish is to enter the same university as Bai Ji.

It was raining cats and dogs on the day Bai Ji went to college, and I insisted on seeing him off at the station.

I put a beautifully wrapped box in Bai Ji's arms. I heard that Beijing is very cold in winter, unlike our south. You should always keep warm.

I have been knitting a thick scarf and a pair of gloves all summer. I begged my grandmother to teach me this. I spent a whole day in the street, only to find the dark gray wool that suits Bai Ji best.

Every night, I carefully put a needle around it and sit in the dim light, my eyes burning red.

This is my secret heart, and no one knows it.

The train pulled into the station, but I was still standing on the platform, staring quietly.

This year, I was 16 years old and Bai Ji 19 years old.

four

After Bai Ji went to Beijing, he seldom came back, sometimes during the winter and summer vacations. I also entered high school. When he comes back, I am often on my way to various cram schools. We often meet only two or three times during the winter vacation.

Ten days before I left school, there was a typhoon and heavy rain here. I went to the yard to collect clothes. I ran too fast. The road under my feet was so slippery that I fell heavily on the ground. The left ear roared and there was a lot of blood.

Bai Ji picked me up, put me on her back and took me to the hospital.

I fell on his back and got wet in the rain, but I didn't feel any pain at all.

I just remembered a sentence I read in a book before. You are a rain in my dry years. It rains incisively and vividly, and I am very sorry for cure a disease.

Yes, it doesn't matter no matter how heavy the rain is.

That summer vacation was the happiest one I ever spent. Bai Ji tells me jokes in the hospital every day.

On the day of discharge, he took my hand and put it on my left ear, saying something.

I asked him what you just said.

Bai Ji said, I'm going to Beijing tomorrow, and the train is at 5 o'clock tomorrow morning. I thought you were still sleeping when I left, so I told you in advance. Goodbye.

I looked Bai Ji in the eye and said seriously, OK, goodbye.

Dad's small business suddenly flourished, expanding the store, using the remaining money to buy a house downtown, and we also moved to a new house.

Later, there were even fewer opportunities to meet.

However, I bury myself in a mountain of questions every day, one test paper after another, one set of exercises after another, and I don't feel tired at all.

My mother sometimes gets up to drink water in the middle of the night 12. When she sees the light on in my room, she tells me to go to bed early to avoid burning my eyes.

I have never forgotten a boy named Bai Ji. I have to work hard with 100 to get his shoulder. I have to stand on tiptoe.

Year after year, time flies. /kloc-When I was 0/9 years old, I finally got into my dream university.

That university has a history.

Finally, I grew up to the age when he met love, and I finally had the confidence to stand by him.

five

On the first day I reported to the university, Bai Ji showed me around the campus and helped me arrange everything. He still introduced me to his friends in his usual tone. He said, this is my sister. I protect her everywhere.

At his side, there is a beautiful girlfriend, whose eyebrows are similar to those of a summer orange, sitting quietly and watching me smile gently.

My only privilege is to be with Bai Ji like my sister, dragging him to take me around street after street and eating all kinds of snacks.

Unfortunately, there is a three-year age gap between us. I am here and Baiji is leaving.

Bai Ji is busy with his graduation thesis and defense. He has found an internship company and will stay if he behaves well.

He told me that he was going to Shanghai. He broke up with his girlfriend again.

Over the years, he has changed many girlfriends, but no one has ever been so sincere as Xia Orange.

On the day I left, he invited me to the tea shop next to the school to drink milk tea. I bit the straw, cocked my head and asked absently, Bai Ji, do you still like oranges in summer?

Bai Ji waved the milk tea in his hand and said to the empty table in front of him, eighteen-year-old Bai Ji will always love eighteen-year-old summer oranges, but now, I am twenty-three years old, and there will be no summer oranges in the future.

I looked at Bai Ji in front of me, and his chin began to have a fluffy beard. He has grown into a man with broad shoulders, a cold face and a quiet face.

I really want to tell him that I have grown up and I have reached the age of knowing love.

I also want to tell him how much I want to accompany him on a vigorous trip.

But in the end, I said nothing.

I watched him leave me again and again.

Me and him, it seems, have always been. He walked in front and I followed.

He never looked back and asked me if I was tired of chasing.

Because, he knows nothing.

six

Time is still creeping forward.

Three years later, I stood in front of Bai Ji again, and I also came to Shanghai.

At that time, Bai Ji had achieved the position of department head, with a group of people and certain economic strength. He took me to a beautifully decorated western restaurant for dinner and cooked me a meal.

I'm not the little girl who can't even tell the difference between a knife and a fork.

We ordered our favorite food.

I was drinking corn soup when Bai Ji suddenly looked at me stupefied and asked, Yan, why did you come to Shanghai?

He didn't call me a girl.

I just looked up in confusion and didn't know what to say. Bai Ji laughed again, bowed their heads and took a knife to cut steak, not to continue the topic just now.

We eat by ourselves, and time goes by. Actually, I really want to say something.

When I was 0/4 years old, I saw their first kiss in the alley. I told my teacher that they were in puppy love. I said that my eyes were red in the dark for him. I fell down on purpose during the summer vacation. I chased him rain or shine all these years. I said that I loved him desperately.

But in the end, all my words got stuck in my throat and I couldn't say a word.

Over the years, there have been many girls coming and going around him, beautiful, capable, excellent and talented, but none of them can stay. For so many years, I was the only one who was really by his side, climbing mountains and wading, along the way, alone.

I am the only one.

That winter, on my birthday, Ji Baihuan held his arm. He asked me what gift I wanted. As long as I don't go too far, he can afford anything.

I want nothing, and you can't give me what I want.

I want you, Bai Ji.

From 14 to 24 years old, I have grown from a little girl who only knows how to stand on the back of the light to an independent girl, but I still can't overcome my inferiority, timidity and cowardice.

I dare not say anything, even if I drank a whole bottle of red wine, I still dare not say it with a slight drunkenness and put it in my heart.

seven

Bai Ji has a new girlfriend. She showed it to me that day and told me that they would get married in the future.

I smiled and held out my hand. Hello, sister-in-law. I'm Bai Ji's sister. My name is Lolo.

I smiled and laughed, so I turned my back, ran to the bathroom, turned on the tap, leaned against the wall and burst into tears.

On Bai Ji's wedding day, I was on a business trip. I was alone in the mountains, with people traveling in the wild. I tried to call him, but there was no signal. I raised my mobile phone and ran all the way to the heights, and finally got through.

There was a noise on the phone, and a group of people were laughing and making noise.

Bai Ji changed to a quiet place. At that time, none of us spoke. A few seconds later, someone on the other end of the phone shouted: Bai Ji, it's time for the groom to play.

I said, Bai Ji, you must be a happy groom.

I hung up the phone, facing the mountain wind, and my body suddenly trembled. I squatted on a deserted hill, with my hands around me, and said to myself gently, I love you.

After returning home, my mother took out a box for me, which was given by Bai Ji. There was a letter in it.

I remember, this box is the one I used to put my scarf and gloves in.

Bai Ji said in the letter that the summer I fell, when I was discharged from the hospital, he attached it to my left ear and said, Lolo, I seem to be in love with you. I didn't know how distressed I was until you fell into the mud.

At that time, I just looked at the jasmine flowers blooming all over the street outside, and I just wanted to say goodbye without any response.

He thought he would have the wrong idea, and he never mentioned it again.

He didn't know that rainy summer, and my left ear was deaf all summer.

I was in the room, crying by myself, and the whole writing paper was wet and my handwriting was blurred.

Later, our original yard was going to be demolished and we haven't been back for many years.

I stood far away, watching the excavator rumble, digging out the whole wall again and again, and with the creeper covering it, it crashed and collapsed.

I looked at the clouds in the sky, as if I saw Bai Ji when I was young. He stood in the corner in front of the compound and told everyone that this is my sister. Wherever I go, I will protect you.

And I, behind Bai Ji, stood in his shadow, jumping with one foot deep and one foot shallow.

I love you with all my youth, so I will forget you with the rest of my life.