How to make children with inferiority become more confident?

There is a six-and-a-half-year-old boy at home who faces the same general confusion as many families: what should parents do if the child is not confident in public?

The phenomena and reasons that lead to many children's insecurity may include:

Scene 1: The child's hands-on ability is poor, and he can't do a small thing several times, so he is very depressed. Children's practical ability and coordination ability can actually be learned by doing housework. Busy in school, parents rarely let their children do housework, but a person's ability comes from constantly doing things. The more things he does, the stronger his ability. If children often do housework and have a sense of responsibility, their initiative in learning will be much better, and they will automatically arrange their own life and study. Chen Mo, a psychologist, said: Children who undertake housework since childhood are often more responsible children and decent children who do everything when they grow up.

Scene 2: Children are afraid to express their true inner thoughts and needs, with few words and unsmiling expressions. This phenomenon may be caused by several reasons.

First, family members may overprotect their children. Leaving home, children can't cope with interaction, can't express accurately, and are easy to shrink back when encountering things. Parents should learn to let go of their protective psychology, and children need to stretch themselves and have their own full expression. Protection is actually a restriction, which will become an obstacle to children's development.

Second, there may be an overly strict father or mother at home. Always blame and restrain children, so that children are afraid when they see their parents. Children who have been afraid of their parents since childhood have a thick layer of dark clouds on their heads. They just want to shrink back in front of authoritative people and feel powerless. When you get to school, you will be very timid in front of the teacher. Parents should know that love has rules and boundaries. Children must truly realize that their parents love them, and children who are nourished by love will be more powerful when they encounter setbacks in their later lives.

Third, children may be in poor health and lack flexibility. In physical education class or other group activities, they always have no physical strength to complete the activities, which is dwarfed by other children. Such children will feel that others are strong and weak, and they will naturally feel inferior and timid at school. Parents should accompany their children to exercise more and gradually improve their self-confidence. At the same time, don't forget to tell your child in a positive tone: you are weak now, and you will have a good chance to grow up when you reach puberty. As long as you keep exercising, you will grow up like other children.

Fourth, it may be that the pressure of exam-oriented education in schools is great, and teachers are strict with their children. Children are worried that their classmates will laugh if the teacher can't answer the questions, and that the teacher will not like it if the exam results are not satisfactory every time. Parents can boldly tell their children that one of your shortcomings is not so important in the eyes of others, so just study hard. If you have a bad study attitude, your mother can help you make up your grades.

Faced with the problem that children are not confident, my mother is sometimes quite nerve-racking. After long-term observation and thinking, I have explored several "coup" that are quite useful for children.

? First of all, everyone needs a stage, and I will seize the opportunity to let the children show it in person. When the child was four or five years old, I found that he recited ancient poems several times in front of his elders. His tone is cadence, he is full of emotion, and his figure is just right. It turns out that he still has this excellent feature, which my mother didn't find before. So I enlarge the advantages of children again and again, and try my best to create a stage and opportunity for children to show. The children gradually moved from a small stage of 50 people to a big stage of 500 people. Once at the annual meeting of 50 people in a picture book organization, once at the Christmas party of 100 people, and recently at the annual meeting of 500 people in his favorite painting organization, in order to stay in town and participate in the activities of 500 people, I specially invited a professional teacher hosted by a radio broadcast to give one-on-one tutoring to my children. In this big event, every program is performed by several children together, while our children perform alone. Why do hundreds of children perform a program alone? Usually, you need to maintain a good relationship with teachers in painting institutions. At the end of the annual meeting of 500 people, the children recited "Boat" and "Man Jiang Hong", which won warm applause and great praise from friends. I asked the child, are you nervous? The child calmly said that he was not nervous. It turns out that "there is a kind of nervousness that makes my mother feel nervous." I believe that children have shown and experienced the fun of this activity again and again when they were young, and they will release themselves more in collective occasions in the future, and their self-confidence will be improved bit by bit.

Secondly, I found that children like painting, and they are more talented in this area, so I began to cultivate them slowly. A parent told me that your child's grades were better than mine. My first reaction was: Your child can't play the piano yet. Teacher Yu of New Oriental once said that in the end, people almost always rely on their own advantages to eat. Cultivate one more interest, and he will have one more skill to make a living in the future. In more than three years, children's paintings have reached 100, covering oil paintings, ink paintings, lines and creative paintings. More than three years' experience of learning painting with children tells me that it is very important for children to cultivate interest in the initial stage. I remember that I was looking for a teacher who spoke in an orderly way, was good at inspiring children's ideas, and especially loved to laugh, so that children would not be afraid of teachers and courses. At the same time, teachers would inspire each child to draw different works on the same theme and gradually open up their painting ideas. In the next two years, because the child was going back to Wuhan from other places, we found an institution for him. Fortunately, the organization attaches great importance to our children, which is also due to their own efforts. We especially cooperated with the activities organized by the organization. When the activities are usually deserted, we will definitely support them, and even call on other mothers and children to help the organization do publicity. Teachers in painting institutions pay more and more attention to our children, and many of my son's paintings will be displayed in the conspicuous corridor of the painting gallery. Teachers and parents say how well the child draws! When children hear such praise, they have more and more confidence in themselves. They often say that they want to be painters when they grow up.

Thirdly, it is also important to have a good relationship with the teachers and classmates in the children's class. There are things like cleaning the class, beautifying the environment for the class and bringing flowers and plants from home. I encourage my children to actively cooperate with teachers. The more children share for the group, the stronger the spirit of cooperation. On the surface, they suffered a lot, but in fact they took advantage. In the future, they will be more enthusiastic and more people will like him. What snacks to buy after school often encourages children to share with other children, so that more and more friends will like him.

Finally, when children help their parents with housework, they should be encouraged and praised in time and without hesitation to strengthen their positive behavior. Ms. Lin, a parent-child expert, said that there are two best ways to correct children's deviant behavior: one is to ignore deviant behavior; The second is to encourage and appreciate positive behavior. Now I will also ask my children to help me carry light couriers, mop the floor and wash dishes. Although I have to wash the dishes he washed once or twice. When my child helps me finish my work, I will say to him as contentedly as my bosom sister Lu Qin: "Having a son is different from not having a son. Mother is so happy to have such a good son! " When a child's efforts are seen, he will become more and more courageous and self-motivated.

Zhou Fan, a happiness expert, said: The process of parents raising their children is actually the process of raising their inner children. No matter how many books we read and do, in the dead of night, we have to face our unbearable, dark-hearted children. The place where parents get stuck in interpersonal communication is also the place where children get stuck. Only when parents make a breakthrough in thinking and methods can children grow up.

The more parents do, the worse their children's ability will be. As the famous educator Mr. Tao Xingzhi said: The whole secret of educating children lies in trusting children and liberating them. The child came to this world because of us, and he finally has to embrace his changeable life on his own. Now there are more only children in the family, and the contact between people who really care about temperature is less than before. Children will also face loneliness and helplessness in society, so loving children should make them have the ability to adapt to social needs as soon as possible, so that we will not worry about their independent survival ability when we are old. The abilities that boys should have are indispensable, such as responsibility, atmosphere, independence, kindness, optimism, learning ability and cooperative spirit. Every day from today, cultivate children's social viability, plan and implement effective parenting concepts as early as possible, and children will grow up to be a man who dares to face the ups and downs of life independently, full of confidence and love!