Teacher’s Speech 42. The head teacher’s skills in talking to adolescent boys (1)

It is almost common knowledge among adults that adolescent boys are difficult to deal with. I have been working with adolescent students for more than 30 years, and most of the people who cause problems in my work are boys. However, these problems are within control, and with a little guidance, boys can wake up and correct them in time.

The reason why my male students can accept my guidance is not because all the boys I meet are "angels dancing and devils sleeping", but because I understand the psychology of boys and can Talking to them using their preferred communication method will not easily awaken the devil sleeping in their hearts. So, how do I talk to adolescent boys in daily education and teaching?

? 1. Tell stories first, then feelings. Most male students are not good at telling stories, but they like to listen to the teacher telling stories, and they especially hate the teacher's reasoning. In view of the listening preferences of male students, after the male students made mistakes, I first did not judge, secondly did not get angry, thirdly did not complain, and fourthly did not threaten. Instead, I calmed down, adjusted my mentality, and told two stories calmly. : One is my own story, and the other is the story of my former students. When telling stories, you can use the following template:

? I had a similar experience when you started to curse in the classroom. Let me tell you about it. When I was in junior high school, I was addicted to Jin Yong's martial arts novels and couldn't help myself. All day long, I fantasized about being a chivalrous woman who fights violence and fights against injustice, especially a chivalrous woman like Huang Rong. So I held a stick all day long, euphemistically calling it a dog-beating stick, and said I would beat all the traitors and lackeys in the world. I imitated the tone of voice of heroes and heroines, and when I spoke to my classmates, I started talking about me, bastard, and bitch... You can imagine my image at that time: a skinny girl with a sallow face, holding a stick in hand, speaking vulgarly, She also calls herself a chivalrous woman, and she is proud of herself and has a righteous look on her face. What is that image? That's the image of a shrew! That is the image of an ignorant fool! That is an image full of vulgar taste! That was, alas, an unbearable image!

When the male students heard this, they laughed so hard that they never imagined that the teacher looked like this. It was so ugly! I smiled and said, yes, that was a very embarrassing memory. But I'm very lucky because I later realized I was wrong and corrected myself completely. It's right to want to be a heroine, but it's a big mistake to use foul language. I still want to be an intellectual and elegant woman, which is more in line with my personality needs.

I have a student who had a similar experience, let me tell you about it. My student is very handsome and has excellent grades, but he is very talkative and will die if he doesn't curse for a day. No one would care about his usual petty quarrels.

One day, a male student pointed at a girl in the classroom and cursed, "You are a plunderer, plunderer, plunderer." The female student who was scolded did not wake up for a moment, and asked the girl next to her with a confused look, what does it mean to pick up a girl? A girl next to her understood the meaning and told her in a low voice that it meant being shameless and cheating men out of money. The girl who was being scolded suddenly realized what she was doing. She rushed towards the boy like she was desperate, grabbed the boy's hair and yelled, "You are a scumbag, a sea king, a pond owner, a pig's hooves, the meanest man in the universe!"

The boys were immediately frightened by the girl’s momentum, and the melon-eaters next to them were also frightened. I happened to enter the classroom to get a USB flash drive to witness the scene, and stopped the situation from getting worse in time.

It’s really embarrassing for a boy to get five unpleasant labels for “gathering girls” and even having his hair pulled by girls. Afterwards, neither I nor my classmates helped him. They all felt that he "deserved what he deserved" and that evildoers will be rewarded.

As long as you cause trouble to others, others will bring more trouble to you. If you want to live a good life, you have to control your mouth, restrain your behavior, and be a person who understands human feelings and obeys the rules.

What I exposed was my own embarrassment, and what I told was the story of other students. I did not make a single comment on the student in question. If the student in question still doesn't understand what I mean, I can only say that he is a stupid kid, not that there is anything wrong with this way of communication. In fact, no matter whether it is a student I am teaching or a student I am not teaching, when I use this method to talk to male students, they are not rejected. Instead, the relationship between teachers and students is brought closer, and the problem is solved happily. leaving no sequelae.

2. Talk less and listen more, and stop talking. Many adolescent boys have conflicts with their mothers at home. Basically, the boys do one thing wrong and their mothers say hundreds of curses. I had a confrontation with the class teacher at school because the class teacher kept saying it. The correct way for a class teacher to talk to students is to speak less and listen more, and stop talking. Teachers must understand that adolescent boys especially don’t like a class teacher whose mother-in-law is a mother-in-law. What they want is a class teacher who can understand them, talk to them, and guide them to fly.

Every morning when I go to the classroom for morning reading, I will give students a few minutes to talk to each other. Male students, especially, must take the initiative and talk happily with their classmates around them. A boy who likes to express himself and can express himself appropriately will have strong communication and leadership skills when he enters the workplace in the future, and will have greater room for promotion.

When they talk, I usually don’t express my opinions, but listen to the students chirping with a smile. Why didn't I rush to express my opinion? Because it is difficult to judge whether what students say is right or wrong. Even if it sounds right now, it might not be true a few years from now. What may be shocking now may become commonplace a few years later. My attitude is that as long as you don't hurt others, don't speak arrogantly, or use foul language if you don't like it, you can say whatever you want.

So the male student asked me if I could talk about games? I said yes, as long as you don’t get stuck in the game and can’t get out, it’s easy to say anything. Can you talk about the UP owner of station B? I said yes, not only can we talk, but you can also be a UP master, as long as you don’t delay your studies while indulging in it, it’s easy to talk.

Because I opened my mouth widely, the male students talked a lot about sex and talked about everything. I listened with an ear. The more I listened, the more I understood the boys. The more I understood them, the more I understood them. The more you know how to deal with them. Although I am already a very senior head teacher and a female class teacher, my students do not think I am old at all. They also think that I am very trendy and have very avant-garde ideas, even they are ashamed of themselves.

When the chatting time is over, I will make a pause gesture, which means to ask each of them to shut their little mouths gracefully. After the children calmed down, I said very solemnly, please clear your mind, clear out all the chat topics just now, and focus on our morning reading content. Only the morning reading content is in your mind, and everything else is excluded!

? I have clearly written the morning reading content on the blackboard during the students' chat time, or I have assigned it the night before.

? The students then began to read early as required, and I patrolled the entire classroom. For those who are not in the state, pat their shoulders with your hands and simply say: Get into the state quickly! Especially for boys who are not in the mood, I have just one word: focus!

? When boys gossip in class, I usually just say: Stop! When boys are playfully transitioning or physically crossing the line, I have just one word: Stop! If a boy makes a mistake, I usually ask him to state the facts of his mistake, and I listen carefully. I don’t express an opinion while listening, but use “um”, “oh”, “got it”, “really”, etc. Words help students explain things clearly and completely.

After the boy told me the whole thing, I knew what was right and wrong. I would say, how are you going to deal with the aftermath of this matter? The students will follow my question and tell me the measures to deal with the aftermath. After taking measures to deal with the aftermath, I would also like to ask, how can you avoid similar problems in the future? Tell me at least three specific ways.

The student also told me the method, and this matter should be over. I also need to make a concluding statement: You are a smart person and making similar mistakes once is enough. What I want is not that you don't make mistakes, but that you can learn from each incident. Some mistakes can be corrected or erased, but some mistakes, once made, are eternal faults. No matter how you apply it, the mistakes are there. Therefore, before speaking or doing something, you should think for three minutes and don’t act blindly, okay?

Having said that, it’s time to end. It’s time for the student’s mistakes to be redressed. The student’s face and the relationship between teachers and students have not been harmed at all. This is the point-to-point way of speaking.

(To be continued)