In fact, it is not a good thing to care too much about your public image.

Jiang Fangzhou said: "Excessive self-concern is the root of all evil."

The so-called "excessive self-awareness" means paying too much attention to one's own inner feelings, or caring too much about one's public image. . Not necessarily self-centered, but very obsessed with self.

Being overly sensitive, shy, shy, overly idealistic, and perfectionistic are all examples of excessive self-awareness.

I have a classmate in the yoga studio who excessively pursues perfection when it comes to photos in her circle of friends. If the photos she sends out do not receive many likes, she will be very disappointed.

In order to take a good-looking photo, she would go to Taobao to buy various styles of clothes, carefully pose for the photo and then apply for a refund.

What impressed me deeply was that on the day when her graduation photos were taken, she had a close-up of her "one-character horse". In order to show the length of her legs, she asked the photographer to go back and forth and take more than 30 photos from different angles.

Although everyone else was standing under the sun waiting, she had no scruples. In short, she insisted on taking the photo that she believed would hit the circle of friends.

But in order to post a selfie, it takes an hour to shoot, an hour to retouch, and another hour to add a text. Is it really a good thing?

Harvard University President Drew Foster said this in his speech at Harvard’s graduation ceremony:

Young people who are new to society often fall into the trap of “caring too much about other people’s opinions. "In the vicious circle of "I don't dare to speak during meetings, I am worried that the questions I ask will be laughed at by others. I dare not speak out good suggestions, because I am worried that if I say the wrong thing, I will be looked down upon by others.

Therefore, the biggest drawback of excessive self-awareness is that it will hinder and restrict one's words and deeds. My current situation is that I am restricted.

A while ago, I submitted my resignation to the company, and it was 4 months later. This was the second time I submitted my resignation. I originally made up my mind to leave, but later I chose to stay due to some reasons.

First, due to the impact of the epidemic, the market environment is not good, and it is difficult for people in Hubei to find jobs; second, the company promised to change my job for me, so that I will not have to deal with the boss directly in the future; third, I will no longer be helpless. Stop working overtime and give me enough spare time.

But after I agreed to stay, I worried about what my colleagues thought of me every day. I always felt that everyone was whispering to me behind my back, scolding me for being spineless, a deserter, and a failure to do anything serious. Drop your pick and leave.

Gradually, looking at others became a kind of pressure, so for a long time, I did not dare to speak in the company and became more and more withdrawn.

In fact, many people have experienced some embarrassing scenes, such as accidentally saying something cold and inadvertently burping loudly during a meeting.

If you care about the eyes of others, gradually, these eyes will turn into pressure and accumulate more and more.

Psychologist Gilovich conducted a Barry Manilow experiment: He asked students at Cornell University to wear T-shirts of singer Barry Manilow, and then walked into a There are other students present in the classroom.

After entering, they all thought that at least half of the students had noticed the T-shirts they were wearing, but it turned out that only 23% of the people present had noticed.

It can be seen that people always overestimate their influence among the people around them. People do not pay as much attention to you as you think. What we need to learn is to underestimate ourselves and travel lightly.

After all, there is a saying that goes like this: When we are 20 years old, we worry about what others think of us. At 40, we don't care what other people think of us. At the age of 60, we find that others have no idea about us at all.

***Teach everyone.