A daily wave of humorous jokes

Daily wave of humorous jokes: don't worry about the white summer vacation, you are very tanned!

Every day, a wave of humorous jokes (1) 1, ants and elephants come to court for divorce. The judge asked the ant why she divorced. The ant replied:? Marrying an elephant is too painful. I have to walk back and forth for 4 hours every time I kiss it! ? The judge was puzzled and asked him if he could get a divorce. The ant replied:? Can you make an elephant kiss without breathing?

Snail and snail got married. But within three days, two people asked for divorce at the same time. Why? Because neither of them can stand the pain of separation.

Frog and butterfly got married. A few days later, Butterfly filed for divorce. Frogs don't understand why. Butterfly is furious: ask who can stand it. Kissing you will be entangled in your tongue three times! ?

2. Someone A, who published a joke for the first time, won a bonus. So when I met my friend, I asked, did you see my joke?

Friend b: it doesn't make sense!

A: I mean, thousands of people clicked on my joke after it was uploaded.

What's so strange about this? There are billions of people online!

A: Billions of people are busy with other things.

What are you up to?

A: Politics, economy, military affairs, education, literature, sports, astronomy and geography. Are there people who study, watch news, chat, make friends, find partners and play games? And stocks, funds, businesses, scams? If nothing else, there are more people who like piano, chess, calligraphy, painting, poetry and songs!

I know what you mean. Only a few thousand people are watching jokes.

Are you wrong again? Am I the only one joking? Ancient, modern, adult, child, soldier, husband and wife, fool, horrible? How many jokes have you told? You can still read my jokes?

B: That's right. I will read more of your jokes in the future!

Look at you. You are kidding me, too. Why do you want to read more of my jokes? Can I watch your jokes, too?

I'm not kidding.

A: You don't have to make it up.

What do you mean?

You look very good. Laugh as soon as you talk. Are you laughing and talking? You said, is that a joke?

If you say so, I won't argue with you. From now on, I just talk and don't laugh, okay?

A: Impossible. Some people don't want to

B: I won't laugh!

A: You have to laugh if you don't laugh!

B: Just don't laugh!

A: unfilial! Your father hit you!

In the park, a middle-aged woman grabbed a middle-aged man by the sleeve.

The woman holds the man's sleeve tightly: don't go, don't go, how can my mother and daughter live without you! ?

The middle-aged man frowned and said, are you afraid that I will never come back? I am not the kind of person who is irresponsible. ?

The woman wiped the tears on her face with a towel and said, last time, last time, I looked through autumn water at home every day, and you let me down so much every time. Now that you are finally back, I won't let you go this time. ?

Middle-aged people are impatient: I want to work, I want to make money, I will show you! ?

Women have a firm attitude: After all I've suffered for you, can't you understand me and your conscience can't be eaten by dogs?

Middle-aged people finally couldn't help it, nu way:? Don't you just owe you some money? It is necessary to chase so hard. ?

Pass the buck A: Your dog ate my duck.

Because your duck ate my earthworm.

Your earthworm ate my fertilizer.

I pulled your fertilizer.

A: The shit you took was excreted after you digested my meal.

b:？

Daily wave of humorous jokes (2) 1, boys' dormitory, hehe, she returned my message! ?

? Was it rejected?

? Although you are fat, I wish her a happy birthday. How can I refuse? ?

? None of your business! ?

In the hot summer of June, there was no rain for a month and the ground cracked. It seems that there will be no food this year.

? Grandma, grandma, there is a meteor shower tonight! ? The excited little granddaughter wants to make a princess wish.

Grandma is looking forward to it: thank goodness, it finally rains. ?

3、? What beauty do you like?

? Hazy beauty! ?

? Oh? But aren't you generous? Since when do you like hazy beauty?

? Because I'm nearsighted! ?

A bus drives to the entrance of the village. A middle-aged man told his brother that his father had disappeared. They quickly lowered their heads and looked under their seats. The driver asked. If you want to find dad, go find dad. Why are you looking under your seat? ?

? The bag containing my father's urn was stolen by thieves. ? The middle-aged man said.

Dung beetle and snail are old classmates. Snail's reputation rose sharply after returning from studying abroad.

Dung beetles piteously begged the snail:? Old classmate, you took me to study abroad and gild it. ?

The snail said, you want to be notorious. ?

A daily wave of humorous jokes (3) 1, a:? What is the temperature of your glasses?

b:？ 600 watts. ?

A:? Right? Watt? With what? Degree? One refers to the light bulb and the other refers to the glasses. ?

b:？ Hey, the same, all glass! ?

2. Watch the Universiade. I realized more. . . . . .

I saw the women's 200-meter dash and know what it means. The waves are rough? ;

After watching the men's pole vault, I know the principle of lever and clearly understand that three legs can't land.

I didn't know what lace was until I saw the women's long jump. . . . . .

After watching the men's high jump, I know what it means. Pillar of heaven? !

Watching women dive, I know what it means. Cut the waves? !

After watching the women's swimming competition, I know what this means. Wave after wave? !

The teacher asked the students what they want to be when they grow up.

Many students answered: engineers, policemen, lawyers, doctors, etc. Only one student replied that he was a philanthropist.

This classmate was praised by the teacher at once.

After class, other students asked him why he had such an ideal. The student replied: The premise of being a philanthropist is that I have to be rich! ?

4. One day, a fierce wife scolded her husband: Before you got married, you said you were a train, and I believed you.

I didn't realize you were a fucking maglev train, short and fast.

Don't show off in an ostentatious manner with me, you will always remember that I am the driver of your train! Go wherever I tell you to go.

No matter how many people you meet, I am the only one who can accompany you to the finish line!

If you dare to let me get off halfway, I'll let you crash!

You've been lying on my tracks honestly all your life. If you dare to cheat, I'll let you lie on the tracks. If you have a ghost in your heart, I'll let you cheat! But then again, a second-class train with potential safety hazards like you will have no strength to lie on the tracks after a few years! ?

When I took my father-in-law out, my daughter-in-law sent me a text message to ask how it went by. I texted back and said: Your father and I are fine!

Daughter-in-law sent a text message again: Why put it in front of you!

So I replied: Your dad, I'm fine! Although I put my dad in front, I forgot some punctuation marks. My daughter-in-law didn't see her, but she replied with a short message: That's more like it!

;