Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - These exquisite hairstyles are posted on WeChat Moments
These exquisite hairstyles are posted on WeChat Moments
1. In fact, the effort is far less than what I imagined, and I have to give myself a reason to bluff.
2. Don’t hate the past. Without it, you wouldn’t be the strong person you are today.
3. Maturity is the process of constant competition between ideals and reality.
4. Because I am young and have little experience, even the most trivial things feel earth-shattering; as I get older, I become more hurt and silent, and the more painful I am, the more silent I become.
5. Sometimes I wish I was just a child, crying when I fall down and laughing when given a candy.
6. You really don’t need to think about others all the time. Not everyone can take your kindness to heart.
7. I used to think that I was not good enough, but later I discovered that you have no vision.
8. Time not only allows you to see through others, but also allows you to understand yourself. Post the most beautiful sentences on Moments
1. Time uses its unique and mean way to make us gradually more tolerant and understand that no matter how we are treated by life, we must still promise ourselves that there will be sunshine tomorrow. I think silence is a sign of growth, and the sign of maturity is how to be silent. "Life is like a summer flower"
2. We rarely talked about love before. We said we liked it because we didn't understand love yet. Nowadays, you have to be careful when saying you like someone, because you are afraid that if you are not careful, you will like her for life. Liang Xiaomai
3. Melons are the sweetest when grown in nutrient fertilizers, and geniuses are the best when grown in malignant soil. Bacon
4. When happiness is close at hand, we can’t see clearly what it is, don’t know how to cherish it, and don’t make choices. Only when it leaves, do we touch the heartache and realize: It turns out that , we were so close to happiness.
5. Love contains a belief that the loved one can confirm, nourish and settle our existence. Simon May
6. I am always reluctant to let the past go, so I cause a lot of heartache. There is always too much reluctance to leave, and in the end, both hands are empty. Unhappiness does not mean that life has treated you badly. Just because we are greedy for the past, we block the oncoming happiness...
7. Since there is nowhere to escape, it is better to be happy. Since there is no pure land, it is better to meditate. Since you didn't get what you wanted, it's better to be relieved. ------Feng Zikai
8. Sometimes, the first meeting makes you closer than someone you have known for a long time. Sometimes a kiss at a station or airport is more innocent than a kiss in a church. Sometimes, a cup of tea is more exciting than a bottle of wine. Sometimes, reading a sentence can give you a deeper understanding than reading an article. Martin
9. I want to refresh my thinking, delete my faults, undo the mistakes I have made, and save all the happy times
10. Many people think that happiness is "you" What can you give me?" In fact, all happiness placed on others is temporary, and anyone in your life is just a supporting role. Happiness is the power that grows from the heart. It is something that is only related to oneself.
11. It turns out that there is no wrong path, only the wrong choice. There is nothing wrong with love, only fate is wrong. You have to believe that no matter where you are, the scenery along the way will always be infinite, no matter when, our years will always bloom, no matter when and where, our love will be forever. Trust your heart.
12. Emotions must be strictly controlled. If you indulge in self-compassion, you will become more and more depressed. Yishu
13. The pain in life comes from living too clearly. The eye is for aesthetics, but ends up getting entangled in ugliness, and ends up judging the ugliness; the heart is for collecting happiness, but ends up getting stuck in care, and ends up feeling pain. It doesn’t matter how much life you have, you have to know how much you know. The ability to be happy is actually the ability to choose and filter. Ma De
14. Joys and sorrows are all banquets in the world. People with life experience know how to deal with frustrations, and they can only be patient. Yishu
15. No matter how old I live, every time I face acceptance, I am still like a child who can only cry. However, when I grow up, I will say to myself: Acceptance is the beginning of getting better. . Qingyin
16. Being kind to others can help you go further in life; being kind to yourself can make your life more nourishing.
No matter who you treat kindly, warmth is actually flowing and love is delayed. In the end, it will be given to others and benefit yourself. "Be kind to others, be kind to yourself"
17. As you get older, you will find that you have two hands, one hand to help yourself and one hand to help others. Audrey Hepburn
18. If you want the other person to treat you, you must first treat the other person; if you want to treat the other party, you must first treat yourself. Xia Donghao
19. Not everyone knows the meaning of time, and not everyone knows how to cherish it; there is no fate of separation and aging in this world, only those who are willing to love and those who are unwilling to love. Heart. Xi Murong
20. Do something you don’t want to do every day. This is a most valuable principle, which can enable you to develop the habit of conscientiously fulfilling your duties without feeling bitter. Mark Twain
21. People cannot learn anything when they are successful. When people are in good times or successful, if they cannot calm down, the things they summarize will naturally be very empty. thing. Only when you fail, the lessons learned are profound and true. Shi Yuzhu
22. Learn to love someone lightly and without putting pressure on others. Loving someone well takes a long time, or even a lifetime, to keep enough distance and have appropriate humility. Mesa Vine
23. A person should know his own position, just like a person knows his own face. This is the most sober consciousness. It is always more beautiful to wash away all the brilliance than to apply makeup and powder casually. Mo Yan
24. Make your life as rich and valuable as possible. When all you have left in your heart is hope for someone, then you are no longer worthy of his thoughts. Xiaomeng Xieyang (Good night!)
25. People cannot fully understand others, and it is doubtful whether they even understand themselves. It is impossible to understand each other 100%, so people will work hard to let others understand themselves, and this is why life is interesting. "EVA"
26. Love and dreams are both wonderful things. You can feel them without hearing, speaking, or being translated. "Heard and Heard"
27. If I had succeeded at that time, my immaturity would have become a big deal, and I would have become the kind of person I don't like. Destiny points out through failure. The path you should take. "Seeing"
28. My efforts now may not get me anything, but looking back in the future, I can at least say loudly that I have never wronged myself and I have never wronged time. Every second, I live my life with care, like a tree trying to stretch its branches. Student No. 7 posted beautiful words and sentences on Moments
1. In life, there will always be people you can’t stand, and there will always be people who can’t stand you. The most uncomfortable feeling is not becoming a stranger, but the gradually unfamiliar attitude.
2. You were everything to me, and you were always by my side.
3. No escape can be appreciated, pursue it if you like it, eat when you are hungry, and don’t care if you fail or gain weight.
4. Learn to smile and shake your head to reject things you like.
5. Feng Guo Wuhen, after all, I forced you to stay. You once said that if you win, I will accompany you to rule the world, and if you lose, I will accompany you to wander the world. The oath is in my ears, but things have changed. I have gained rights, but I have lost you. I feel so cold at the high place. No matter how much I have, I can't compare with you. If I had known that the price of getting all this would be to lose you, I think I won't fight for it, just because you are more important than anything else, but there are no ifs in this world
6. Three things that make people happy: someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to. To be loved means not only to be loved, but also to have the ability to actively love others and the world; to have something to do, to make every day fulfilling; things are not big or small, only whether you like to do them or not; to have expectations, there is hope in life, and people are not afraid When you are humble, you are afraid of losing hope. Looking forward to tomorrow and sunshine, people will stand up from humility and embrace the blue sky.
7. You like her, and she also likes you very much. You both know that one day one of you will speak first, but you don’t know which day will be the first to say that you like each other. This is the most important thing. Good times.
8. Love is always there, even if we have been together for a long time and have family ties.
The saying that love will eventually transform into family love is actually exaggerating family love, love is always there!
9. She will swim in the lake of tears of a female poet, she will live in hibernation forever on the cold starfish, she will sob to the sound of the piano, and she will have no tears at all.
10. Hypocrisy cannot be kept, but sincerity will always be there.
11. Time passes bit by bit, and the simple me has long disappeared in that fleeting time.
12. We each have new friends, but you are still in my heart.
13. Pity is easy because it is a sense of superiority; tolerance is difficult because you actually admit to being hurt.
14. You already have her in your heart, so why not end our relationship as soon as possible.
15. Some people have some things and some don’t. Some people don't get what they ask for, and some people abandon it like nothing. If you must give an explanation, it's fate.
16. You love me not because I am beautiful. There are many more beautiful people in this world than me. You love me not because of my wisdom. There are countless wise men in this world. Love me, just because I am me, a little good and a little bad, the unique me throughout the ages, love me, just because we met.
17. Missing is a winding river with gurgling water that sings a song of family affection and love forever. Your sadness and happiness will always accompany my dreams and my wanderings; the future is a changing sky, unpredictable winds and clouds, and it always interprets the ups and downs of countless successes and failures. Your mystery and your legend have always called to my mission and my loneliness.
18. You don’t know autumn is gone when the flowers bloom, and you don’t know winter is deep until the rain comes. A night rain outside the window chills the memories, but a flower blooming warms the mood.
19. With a beautiful heart, look at the scenery of the world; with a happy heart, look at the trivial matters of life; with a grateful heart, thank the growth that experience has given us; with a broad heart, The heart tolerates the harm caused by human affairs to us; use a normal heart to look at the success and failure of life.
20. Life will eventually wither in time, but the soul can be replenished in the years; the body cannot escape the fate of disappearing, but the spirit can cross the bottleneck of time and space. You can endure loneliness, but don't give up the pursuit; you can face the void, but you can't lose your vision.
21. Don’t compare with others, don’t care about yourself, be a good person, immerse yourself in doing things, be down-to-earth, and live life naturally. Being a person is like drinking, and it is best to be half drunk and half awake; to do things like When holding the pen, half loose and half tight is the most natural.
22. If what you give to me is also given to others, then I would rather not have it. It’s not scary if you can’t get it, but it’s a joke if you can’t keep it.
23. The most painful thing is not parting, but the memories after parting.
24. It’s hard to even like someone after being alone for a long time.
25. Some dreams are not from previous lives. Some acquaintances, maybe old friends. Some encounters are determined by causes and conditions. Are some grievances hidden behind the scenes? Somewhat familiar, have we met before? Some feelings are connected. Some scenes feel like you have been there before. Are some stories continuing the past? Brightness and extinction, everything is like an illusion or a dream. Ethereal and misty, ultimately indistinguishable. Beautiful jokes to post on Moments
1. My husband is on a business trip, which is the background. Husband: Wife, can I find a lady? Wife: OK! Husband: My wife is so considerate, thank you! Wife: You're welcome, how can I earn back the RMB you spent, my wife?
2. I overheard my mother say something today: The more beautiful a girl is, the less reliable she is. What should I pay more attention to in the future? My father then said: Your mother was the most popular girl in the second middle school back then. No more newbies, ^_^Please be merciful to the masters
3. I feel that Chinese is very magical. Just two words, including compromise, concession, pampering, love, etc. All kinds of soft emotions as long as they are not in Tianjin dialect.
4. Mom had something stuck in her eye and asked me to blow it. As a result, the biscuit in lz’s mouth was blown out before she finished chewing it. She took a big breath and the biscuit crumbs rushed to her mouth. My mother's eye went out, and then she chased lz and started beating her while covering one eye. . .
Mom, I admit that I am second-rate, but this is also something you inherited, okay?
5. Today, a female colleague A in the company told female colleague B that she would criticize me tonight. I said haha, I am a bastard eight times in one night! As a result, colleague A said: There are only exhausted cows and no rotten land! I'm messy! Absolutely true
6. I am Yuelao, you can also say matchmaker. I use red thread to tie the destined people together and never separate them. I have a temple, and people seeking marriage come to burn incense and ask me to help them find a match. I will hear their voices and tie the beautiful couple together with a red thread. Then my mission was accomplished. In many places, I can't help but feel envious when I look at the beautiful life of my partner. Everyone knows that in order to get married, you must ask for the old man, but who is the old man for the old man? In the end, I can only look at others.
7. While eating, her boyfriend suddenly broke up with her. The girl pretended to calmly ask her boyfriend why. My boyfriend thought for a while and said that he didn't feel anything anymore and it was boring. The girl nodded and said let’s eat first, and then put tomatoes into her boyfriend’s bowl as usual. The boyfriend was very touched, held the girl’s hand and said it’s rare that you still want to give me my favorite tomato to this day, girl. Hahahahahahaha, go to your mother, you tm, you can eat tomatoes to grab the eggs with me!
8. The factory distributed 50 grams of gold during the Mid-Autumn Festival: Our factory refines gold. In the suburbs. This year's efficiency is relatively good, but the company said it will not recycle the production in the morning. It was distributed equally among the employees, exactly 50 grams each. . . . . Everyone continue. . .
9. When I was in kindergarten, a classmate bit my butt. When I went home to sleep, my mother helped me take off my clothes and saw that my butt was swollen. She asked me what happened? I said it was bitten by a classmate. The next day, my mother sent me to school and told the teacher to ask me in class who bit me. I pointed at the idiot and said it was him. My mother asked the idiot why he bit me. The idiot classmate said that I sat on it. His big bubble gum!
10. I have a cat at home. He likes to play until very late and then go home. He is meowing. Last night, I finished playing on the computer and was getting ready to go to bed. The cat came back. He was probably hungry and started barking. Yelling, my dad took it upon himself to get something to eat from the refrigerator. I said, "I'm hungry too, please get me some." The best dad said: I don’t know how to do it, but I will still sleep if you don’t sleep at night! I said: You did it all. Dad: Are you competing with it? This is my pet! Don't waste my food. ...
11. When you are together, your friends will say that you look like a couple; once you break up, they will say that they have already seen that you are not suitable for each other.
12. I stayed in a hotel on a business trip. When I entered the room, I found that the smell of cigarettes was very strong. I called the front desk clerk. Front desk reply: Please wait a moment and we will send someone to make your room smoke-free immediately. So high-tech, what kind of high-tech is smoke-free treatment? After a while, a waiter came and opened all the windows in my room.
13. The winter vacation homework is: you write for a month, and the teacher writes a review.
14. My girlfriend got into trouble with her Samsung mobile phone. Last night she slapped me for no reason and said: Your expression just now was very nice. I’ll take a screenshot.
15. My mother forced me to go on a blind date yesterday. She repeatedly promised that the girl was beautiful.
16. I have always wondered why Big Gray Wolf’s son Xiao Huihui’s surname is Xiao instead of Hui. It wasn’t until I watched a certain episode one day that I discovered that Red Wolf’s first love boyfriend was named Xiao Bailang. Wolf life is full of troubles.
17. Two thieves went to steal something from someone else’s house. While they were in the room, the owner came back and brought four or five friends back to play. As soon as they entered the door. , look, fuck! ! With a few friends, click on one of them and hit. The other thief was so frightened that he turned around and ran to the bedroom. Then he locked the bedroom door and listened to the howling outside! ! It hurts to take out the phone and say hello! Police station? I surrender! ,,
18. Wife: Look at you, people will laugh at you when they see you.
Husband: But I let my wife save you a lot of money! Wife: What money did you save? Husband: Money for skin care products! It’s been ten years since I smiled, and it works better than any other skin care product!
19. Today I went to the street with my girlfriend. When I was going down the overpass stairs, my shoelaces suddenly came apart. I happened to be holding something in my hand. When I was about to put down my things and tie my shoelaces, my girlfriend squatted down. I tied it up in the front, and passers-by were all envious at that time, no matter what! If it is over 500, I will have to marry her
20. I asked God: Can I exchange EXO for Huang Jiaju and Michael? God answered: What I want is the best singer in the world. , not the worst dog.
21. Hangover cure tips 1. Eat garlic to overcome the smell of alcohol 2. Eat chewing gum to overcome the smell of garlic 3. Spit out the gum and smoke a cigarette 4. Eat a piece of stinky tofu after smoking 5. Eat After eating the stinky tofu, drink some vinegar 6. After drinking the vinegar, eat a tea egg. 7. After eating the tea egg, drink a cup of tea. 8. After drinking the tea, eat some melon seeds. 9. After eating the melon seeds, eat a Golden Throat. 10. Now I don’t know your mouth. What does it smell like? Anyway, I guarantee that the smell of alcohol is definitely gone. . .
22. You can never imagine that when I put a bag of peanuts on the desk, wore headphones, bit a straw, and shook my legs in various random ways, a mom led the child and suddenly pushed Open the door~ Then, the naughty kid pointed at me and said to him that she was my teacher. He looked at me with a numb look
23. Half a minute before the self-study class, switch the phone from silent mode Enter the standard mode, and the result is in the last 10 seconds. Sister, please move forward boldly! Go forward! Don't look back! The sound is louder than ever before! My friends and I were shocked! The look in the eyes of the whole class,,,, the head teacher was shocked! . . .
24. I met a man on the street today holding an iPhone. He stopped me and asked: Brother, do you want the 5s? It’s cheap. I said: No, I’ll wait for the 6s. Going to buy 6, he decisively took out a mobile phone and said: Apple 6, how about it? I looked at him and said: No, turned around and left. He called from behind: Dual SIM dual standby?
25 On the wedding day of a friend of mine, his wife’s sisters wrote an oath with ten regulations and asked the groom to read it in public. One of them is to give your wife a gift on every holiday after getting married. After reading this, the groom hesitated and said: Are you sure you want to receive gifts during Qingming Festival? The scene burst into laughter
26. The surname is Zhang! I protest! You abused your power as monitor! Why do you keep me here after school every day? You can obviously complete every task or assignment by yourself, right? I've had enough of you! Stop trying to take advantage of me. I will stop doing this, you bastard who will never have any descendants! He caught the fist that was thrown at him, kissed the back of his hand and smiled lovingly, "Okay, then let's cut off our children and grandchildren together."
27. Zhou Yu held a banquet at the gathering of heroes. Lu Su said: Grand Governor, the guests invited today are divided into primary and secondary guests. Jiang Qian is our chief guest, and the others are all secondary guests. He went to a banquet with all the ministers and died.
28. When I was in college, I once took a shower with two sisters in the dormitory shower room. Just as the dormitory aunt finished washing and went out, a bastard said: Oh, I am getting saggy with age. This is so terrible. Another idiot received: That’s right, if you have given birth to a child, I will definitely not have any children in the future. I smiled secretly and thought: Just the two of you, there is no way it will sag. Didn't dare to say it.
29. When she was in high school, she was very fat. They made an appointment to date her when she lost weight. Although they didn't go to the same university, she always remembered this agreement. By her sophomore year, she had lost a lot of weight. She came to the university where he was studying and recognized him immediately. She wanted to go up and call him, but found that he was holding hands with a girl and talking and laughing. He found her: Classmate, are you looking for me? She was stunned for a moment, then smiled and said: I was just passing by.
30. Five years ago, she told her friends that her brother introduced her boyfriend to her and she fell in love with him. Five years later today she will marry him. Her brother happily served as her best man, and her best friend became the maid of honor. In the morning, she passed by the dressing room and saw him holding her brother in front of the mirror and saying, this is the perfect match. She bit her lower lip and turned around to leave, but was hugged tightly by her friend who had been following her.
31. Went on a blind date today and ordered a few dishes. There was a plate of sweet and sour carp, and I looked at the price: 32 yuan. Suddenly it occurred to me that the first time I went on a blind date, a plate of sweet and sour carp only cost 8 yuan. Now it is 32 yuan and I am still going on a blind date.
32. When I was in school, my academic performance was poor and I always sat in the back rows. One day I was secretly watching "Story Club" in math class and was discovered by several classmates who were chatting next to me. At this time, they One of them glared at me angrily: Everyone is playing and you are the only one studying. Don’t you feel ashamed? ? I. . .
33. Tong Yanwuji’s mother often told Xiaomei: Don’t swing on the swing when wearing a skirt, otherwise the little boy will see the underwear underneath! One day Xiaomei happily said to her mother: Mom, Xiao Ming and I won the swing competition today! Mom said angrily: Didn’t I tell you not to swing on the swing when wearing a skirt? Xiaomei said proudly: But I am so smart! Take off your panties so he can't see it! Uh...
34. My colleague’s wife and I are childhood sweethearts who grew up together. Once, a colleague and I drank together and got drunk. After returning home, his wife was furious and immediately called me and scolded me severely. When I sobered up the next day, I felt deeply: It is better to grow up together with bare buttocks than to grow up together with naked buttocks. . .
35. The real thing is that I went to the market to buy fish in the morning and I told the master to help me kill him. But the master saw him scrape the scales, buckle the gills and break the belly in one go. Then he bagged it. I took out 100 yuan and handed it over to him. He was stunned. Then I was shocked. I forgot to weigh myself. The point is that neither of us felt anything was wrong during the fish killing process
36. Is there any mainstream public opinion in mainland China? I think there is. Among them, there are two main mainstreams: first, the stock market can only rise but not fall; second, air purifiers should be uniformly distributed by the state.
37. He and he quarreled again because of his busy work and fell asleep back to back. He woke up in the middle of the night when the quilt slipped out of bed and found himself lying in his arms as usual. He carefully pulled the quilt up and covered the two of them, only to find that the idiot who was snoring slightly without opening his eyes did not hug the quilt immediately in the cold temperature, but unconsciously tightened his arms around him. , tucking the quilt into his neck.
38. A girl asked me if I had a car. I said: I don’t have a car that costs less than 500,000 yuan. Then the girl asked: Do I have a car that costs more than 500,000 yuan? I yelled: How stupid, I don’t have anyone with less than 500,000 yuan, let alone more than 500,000 yuan!
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