Fruit joke

A Dai is learning rap recently, wearing sunglasses and two big headphones, passing by the pancake fruit stand.

Say to the boss: hey, boss ~ give me a set of pancake fruit ~

Boss: In this cold winter, have a set of pancake fruit ~

A Dai: Yo ~

Boss: the smell of fragrant incense fascinates you ~

A Dai: Ouch ~

Boss: Oh ~ Do you want ham sausage?

A Dai: Yes ~

Boss: Do you want eggs?

A Dai: Yes ~

Boss: I said eggs, and you said yes. Eggs ~

A Dai: Yo ~

Boss: eggs ~

A Dai: Yo ~

Boss: eggs ~ eggs ~ eggs ~

A Dai: Yo ~ Yo ~ Yo ~

Boss: eggs ~ eggs ~ eggs ~ eggs ~

A Dai: Yo yo yo yo yo ~

Boss: Forget it. It's thirty yuan altogether.

A Dai took off her dark glasses, looked at the pancake fruit filled with eggs and ran away. The boss brought a spatula and chased her and shouted, grandson! Don't run if you dare!

A Dai: Don't chase seeds!

After running for two blocks, A Dai finally got rid of the pancake shop owner. He was breathless with fatigue and didn't eat breakfast. A Dai sighed and said, "Heaven covers the earth!" !

A vendor nearby said, pancakes are two and a half yuan!

A Dai said: River Demon in Baota Town!

The stall owner said: Do you want Chili?

A Dai subconsciously replied: Yes ~

Vendor: Oh, my God, brother, we are on the same side ~ I said Chili, you said Chili ~

A Dai: Yo ~

Vendor: Chili ~

A Dai: Yo ~

Vendors: Chili ~ Chili ~ Chili ~

A Dai: Yo ~ Yo ~ Yo ~

............... It is said that when I was born, my father cried at the top of his lungs for a month and a half. He killed me and still doesn't believe that I am a child of his chromosome inheritance? Son.

Later, in order to prove her innocence, the mother dragged her father to the hospital for paternity test, and the doctor opened the quilt and cried after only one look? Come on, wipe your nose and say go home. This is not your son, nor does it belong to anyone. Humans can't give birth to such a handsome child. . . . . .

An intern nurse came over and immediately found a box of red inkpad, printed my fingerprints, and messed up my hair at once? Open, muttering to me: long hair for you, I won't marry you in this life, I won't cut my long hair, I won't tidy up the ancient Buddha, I won't comb my hair in the boudoir. . . . . .

/kloc-When I was 0/5 years old, I was afraid to go to school. I haven't been to kindergarten for a long time. What about the children in the whole park? Both the teacher and the director are crazy, and my face is swollen into a watermelon by the little girl.

The CCTV focus talk show group came to interview me, and the beautiful woman carrying the camera fainted three times. The little girl who takes notes? Sheng Sheng writes Chinese in Italian and Spanish.

Yesterday I walked into the street, and a group of beautiful women stopped me and asked, are you handsome? I said, I am not handsome. They came and hit me and called me hypocritical.

I walked on, and another group of beautiful women stopped me and asked, are you handsome? I remember last class, nodding and saying, I am handsome. They hit me again and said I was too modest.

Further on, another group of beautiful women stopped me and asked, are you handsome? Recalling my last two fates, I didn't answer. As soon as I bent down to leave, they rushed up and threw the bag at me crazily. The girl who hit me the hardest even swore: Shit! Your boy is handsome and dragged into this state!

Do you think I am handsome? Handsome is providence, cool is man-made, it's not my fault to be handsome, it's your own problem to like me.

Someone gave me a pair of couplets for the Spring Festival this year. The first couplet is: Look at the fans behind. The bottom line is: girls love to jump off buildings when they turn their heads. Horizontal batch: Shuai Shuai!

Breaking the world record every day means keeping the most handsome record in the world for another day.

A girl who met me said to me: If the world has only ten minutes, I will recall your handsome appearance with you. If the world has only two minutes, you should show me the most handsome shape again. If the world had only one minute, I would tell you 60 times-you are so handsome!

There is also a girl who stands at the door every morning, looking at me stupidly and whispering: There is no desert in the world, but every time I see your handsome appearance, a grain of sand will fall in the sky, and there will be Sahara from now on! It's the same sentence every day. One day, I was really bored and asked, how did so many deserts come from in the world? Oh, that's because there are too many girls who think you are handsome, so ..........

In short, I am so handsome, people say: the green mountains and green waters are so cute, and everyone likes me as a super handsome guy. Even my exam questions are like this:

Topic: Be the most handsome.

I don't need to do this. I already know.

Title: Make the ugliest appearance.

A: You don't have to do it. No matter what you do, it won't be ugly. ........

I am so handsome that I want to be disfigured. I am too handsome to go out again. ........

If being handsome is a crime, then I have committed a heinous crime. If being cool is a mistake, then I have made mistakes again and again. If I am smart, I will be punished. Then I won't be cut to pieces.

Bitter! Men are so miserable. As a handsome guy, I really feel bad!

I tried to kill myself several times because I was so handsome, but all the girls begged me: you are really handsome, but it depends on your courage to live. It's not your intention to be handsome, but God depends on how beautiful the world will be with you!

Idealism tells me: if I say you are handsome, you are handsome!

Materialism tells me: because you are handsome, I say you are handsome!

The United Nations allocated special funds to build a hiding place for me, located at the top of Mount Everest in the Himalayas, and I enjoyed the real? Clean and extremely boring, I stood at the top and shouted: I am not handsome! Suddenly, the voice of God came from the sky: No, what about you? Lie. . . . . .

Later, World War III broke out and atomic bombs were used. After the explosion, because of me, I was the only one who survived in the world? Protected in the nuclear protection zone, when I came out, the land was deserted, and there were desolations and ruins everywhere after the war. . .