Laugh at me.

1, troops stationed in the Arctic Circle. "It's not cold at all," said a veteran. "I have been to Alaska, that place is very cold! Even the fire in the stove is frozen, and it can't be blown out. "

"What is this!" Another veteran was unconvinced. "In a place where I have been, when I was talking, my words were frozen! As soon as the sample comes, we have to melt the frozen words in boiling water to understand the order! "

2. A woman urinated in the toilet, and a drunk went by mistake after drinking. He heard the sound of urination and said, Don't wait, I really don't drink! The woman was too frightened to pee again. She couldn't hold back and farted. The drunkard said: I *! Why did you take another bottle!

When the wolf invaded, small animals set up death squads to fight. Mantis: I have two knives. Hedgehog: I'm covered in hidden weapons. The longicorn sings while swinging its tentacles: Hum! I have nunchakus! Nunchakus! Hum, hum, haha!

One day, a chimpanzee accidentally stepped on a stool pulled by a gibbon. They had a one-night stand after the mother ape carefully wiped the stool off the chimpanzee. Afterwards, someone asked how they met. Chimpanzees sighed with emotion: "Ape dung (fate) is all ape dung!

The elephant saw the camel and said, "Why does MIMI grow on your back?"

The camel said: *! I don't fucking talk to things on J8' s face.

The snake smiled: J8' s long face is better than MIMI's long back.

The elephant retorted: You are 8 years old and still have J8 on your face?

When the earthworm saw it, he said at the same time, Why does this guy grow J8 and have no face?

6. When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered, "Little darling!" The patient smiled and said, "Little baby."

7. Mrs. Wang is pregnant with quadruplets and shows off to her neighbors everywhere, saying that it is not easy to give birth to quadruplets, with an average of 60 thousand births. Mrs. Li was surprised: do you still have time to do housework?

8. A naughty student nicknamed the girl in the same class "Fat Pig". The girl cried and complained to the teacher. The teacher promised to criticize the boy. The next day in class, the teacher spoke in class. One of our classmates is so rude. No one can give other students nicknames that they like.

Before dark, my sister and I were under a big tree in the park. The scenery in the park is beautiful and there are few people. It's so poetic I said, "I'm in a bad mood. Please make me happy. "

"good!" She has a smiling face.

"Let's get started."

"My one hand makes you happy?" She said softly.

I am a little greedy and shake my head.

"I make you happy with my hands?" She said more softly.

I'm still a little greedy. I still shook my head.

"Then I use two hands and one mouth to make you happy?" She said very gently.

I nodded desperately, I was elated! ! ! !

Bang, bang! ! ! I got slapped twice! !

Shh! She spit all over my face! ! !

10, Zidane: "Guess what I will do when I get paid?"

Figo: "For your wife?"

Zidane: "No, it's in the bank."

Figo: "That's a man."

Zidane: "Then give my wife the passbook."

1 1, Goody's family has a champion dog who fights with dogs everywhere and wins ... both at home and abroad. ...

So he was arrogant ... challenging other dogs and barking at them. ...

One day, Goody took the champion dog for a walk on the road. ...

Seeing Raul leading a big dog, Guti's champion dog came running and barked.

Goody thought, wouldn't it be great if my champion dog beat Raul's dog?

So he said to Raul, "How about letting my champion dog hit your dog?"

Raul: "this ... is not good."

Goody: "It doesn't matter. If it really hurts your dog, I will stop it. "

Raul: "Still not good."

While the two of them were discussing, two dogs got into a fight, and the champion dog was defeated, which was extremely embarrassing. ...

Guti asked in surprise, "Raul, what kind of dog is this in your house?"

Raul: "Well, before his hair was pulled out, people called him a lion."

12, the panda loves the deer deeply, but it is rejected when expressing love.

Panda roar ~ why? What's all this for?

The deer said timidly, my mother said that those who wear sunglasses are all bad teenagers.

13, two jiaozi got married and had a bridal chamber that night. After seeing off the guests, Gong Jiaozi suddenly found a meatball on the bed when she returned to the house? What about the son and mother? Jiaozi is missing. He panicked and quickly shouted, "Where is my bride?"

Meatball scolded: "Damn, don't you know that people have taken off their clothes?" ! "

14, the elephant was bitten by a snake, but the snake quickly got into the hole. The elephant is very depressed, thinking, wait until it gets dark, little sample, and see if you come out!

At this time, an earthworm emerged from the hole, and the elephant was very angry. Step: Boy, where's your father?

15. A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I'm from TV University!

16, there is a beggar on a street, begging there every day.

One day, someone suddenly found a bowl beside the beggar, but there was no one in it?

Curious. He went up and asked, "Why did you put two bowls?" .

The beggar smiled and said, "I don't know why business has been very good recently." So I opened a branch. "

17, the water said, "Let me hold you day and night and never leave you!"

The fish said, "Let me lie in your gentle arms and enjoy your care!" "

The pot said, "Ya is almost ripe, and you are still so poor!" " "

18, one night Holmes and his assistant set up a tent on the hillside and slept until midnight. Holmes woke up his assistant, pointed to the stars in the sky and asked, "What do you think when you see so many stars?"

The assistant pondered for a long time and said, "Innocence is boundless. Every star is equivalent to a sun, and the earth we live in is only a very small planet in the solar system. How small we humans are! "

You idiot, ours? The tent was stolen! ! ! "Holmes nu way.

19, the vampire bat came back covered in blood, and the bats were very envious. They asked him where he got so much blood. He took the bat to a big tree and asked, Do you see that big tree? Answer: Yes. It: Damn, I didn't see it.