Spoofing common sense

1. Do you know all these interesting cold knowledge of 10?

In life, we often ignore some common things and details ... So do you know the following 10 interesting cold knowledge? Let's learn!

1. No piece of paper can be folded in half more than 9 times.

Sleeping consumes more calories than sitting and watching TV.

3. pearls will dissolve in vinegar.

There will be no response to the duck's cry, and no one knows what to do for the time being.

Snails can sleep for three years without eating.

6. There is a square watermelon in Japan, which is convenient for storage.

7. The giraffe's tongue is 2 feet long.

8. Only 30% people can enlarge and narrow their nostrils.

9. The people who use toothpicks most often are Americans.

10, sharks can only detect one millionth of blood in water.

2. Ask a few hilarious jokes to be funny.

"Laughing Building" Feng Menglong is willing to be kicked. When the woodcutter was carrying firewood, he accidentally met the doctor, who punched him.

The woodcutter pleaded, "I'd like to be kicked." He was asked why.

The woodcutter said, "It must be hard to live with his hands!" " "A scholar who has no goods in his stomach is going to take the imperial examination, and he is very sad day and night. His wife comforted him and said, "It's so hard to watch you write an article, just like we women have children.

"The husband said," It's easy for you women to have children. " The wife asked, "Why?" The husband said, "you have it in your stomach, but I don't!" """Chuan" sleeps in. An enlightenment teacher only knows the word "biography". When he saw a student hand in a book, he planned to find a word to teach him. After turning a few pages, he suddenly saw a word "three", pointed at it and scolded: "I can't find you anywhere." I'm lying here sleeping in! " Two children who were also "sick" got married, and an in-laws bought a new bed, which was extremely exquisite and gorgeous. I thought such a good bed would not be seen by my in-laws, so why not bury it? So he pretended to be ill and lay in bed so that his in-laws could visit him.

My in-laws have just made a pair of trousers and want to show them off. When I heard that my in-laws here were ill, I was glad to visit them. He sat down in front of his in-laws bed, deliberately raised his legs and lifted his robe to reveal New Pants. Then he asked, "What's wrong with my in-laws, so pale and thin?" Speaking of this, my in-laws patted the edge of the bed and said, "My little brother is sick, just like my in-laws are sick!" The word "one" grows up. The father wrote a word "one" to teach his son. My son read it several times and remembered it.

The next day, the father wiped the table, drew a horizontal line on the table with a wet cloth and asked his son, "What is this word?" My son blinked and didn't know him. Father said, "This is the word" one "that I taught you yesterday!" The son opened his eyes wide in surprise and said, "overnight, you have grown so big?" ! "Refuse to say" lose ". A man claims to be famous for playing chess.

One day I played chess, but I lost three games in a row. The next day, someone asked him, "How many chess games were played yesterday?" The man replied, "Three sets."

Ask again: "Who wins and who loses?" Answer: "I didn't win the first game, he didn't lose the second game, and I wanted to draw the third game, but he refused." The game braggart said, "I have a big drum at home." Every time I hit it, Fiona Fang can hear it within a hundred miles.

B said: "My family has a cow, standing in Jiang Nanan to drink water, and its head can reach Jiangbei." A shook his head again and again and said, "How can there be such a big cow?" B said, "Without this cow, how can cowhide cover your drum?" Always take advantage. There is a sharp diamond-shaped man in town. No matter what others have, as long as they see it, he will try his best to take advantage.

People who know his character, as long as they have objects in their hands, bypass his home. One day, someone walked past his house with a piece of gravel and thought, "This thing can't be cheap!" " "Unexpectedly, he was dragged home by a sharp drill, took out a kitchen knife from the kitchen, ground it on the sand a few times, and then pushed him away and said," Well, you can go. "

A drunk dreamed of a bottle of wine. He wanted to heat it and drink it. He was about to run into the kitchen to heat the wine, but his dream woke up. He was very upset and said to himself, "It's a pity that I didn't drink it cold earlier!" " "Eating puffer fish is said to be delicious and tender. The couple bought a few specially, so they must try them when they are ready. Suddenly, they remembered that eating puffer fish might lead to poisoning and death.

So, the husband asked his wife to eat first, and the wife asked her husband to eat first. Later, my wife couldn't resist her husband and had to eat first. When she raised her chopsticks to catch the fish, she said with tears, "I'll eat first, but I just want you to take care of your two children."

When they grow up, never buy puffer fish to eat. "Military attache night patrol military attache night patrol, met a person who was late, claiming to be a scholar.

The military attache said, "Since you are a scholar, I will test you." The scholar said, "Please make a question."

The military attache thought for a long time, but couldn't think of a topic, so he shouted, "What a bargain. Fortunately, I can't think of the topic. " Xian Cheng, who is in charge of finance on the red candle, can't read. Every time he buys something, he draws a shape on the ledger, which is regarded as bookkeeping.

One day, the county magistrate looked at the accounts and saw many pictures painted on them. He was very angry and drew many red stripes on the picture with a red pen. When Xiancheng saw it, he said to the county magistrate, "Why did you put many of your red candles in my account?" There is a writer in Saner yamen who always makes mistakes in writing.

Once I copied the roster and wrote the word "Chen" on the right side of my ear. After the county magistrate found out, he hit 20 boards. After the pain, he thought that all the capitals of the radicals were written on the left.

When writing the word "Zheng", write your ear to the left. As a result, I got 20 more boards.

Soon, a man named Nie asked him to write a complaint. He shook his hand again and again in fear and said, "No,no." ..

I hit 40 boards in both ears; If you write to my third brother, I'll kill you! "Everyone likes to talk big. The rich man and his three sons like to talk big. They often call themselves by the name of the imperial family. One day, a friend came and the rich man was not at home. The eldest son said, "Dad is out. "

The second son asked where his mother was and replied, "Mother is drinking in the imperial garden." My friend saw that their words were inappropriate and left.

If you happen to meet rich people, then tell them one by one. The rich man asked, "Who said these words?" The third son behind him interjected, "Maybe two brothers said it."

The friend was even more angry and grabbed three sons and hit them. The rich man quickly advised, "Xianqing, don't be angry. For my sake, let Huang San go! " New clothes show off. There is a man who likes to show off.

One day, I put on new clothes and went out with a very nice boy. Lest others should not pay attention to his new clothes, he shrugged his shoulders and dangled on the road.

After a long time, I asked extremely, "Has anyone seen my beautiful new clothes?" The extreme boy replied, "No one has read it yet." He felt that his shoulder was very tired, so he immediately put down his shoulder and said, "Since no one has seen it yet, let my shoulder rest for a while.

"The neighbor moved to a quiet person, but his left neighbor was a coppersmith shop and his right neighbor was a blacksmith shop. Two shops knock on the door all day, and the noise is annoying.

He said to people, "If the two stores move away, I am willing to pay for hosting a banquet for them." One day, two bosses said to him, "Let's move."

He was very happy, immediately.

3. Are there any humorous jokes?

I pointed to steamed dumplings. "Aunt, let's have two barbecues." "all right." Aunt in the canteen quickly put two spring rolls for me and brushed me a dollar.

I think we are all people with worries. 2。

A male deer, it walked faster and faster, and finally became a road (deer)! ! ! ! 3。 When will Taiwan Province Province be reunified? When buying instant noodles 4.

One day, Xiao Qiang asked his father, "Dad, am I a stupid child?" Dad said, "Silly boy, how can you be a silly boy?" 5。 The glass and coffee cup crossed the road together, and suddenly someone shouted: Here comes the bus! As a result, the glass was hit by a car and the coffee cup was fine. Why? Coffee cups have ears! 6。

I hate two kinds of people most: one is racist; The second is black; Third, I can't count! 7。 When my daughter came back from kindergarten, I asked her what she had for lunch in the garden.

She replied that leek steamed stuffed bun. I asked leek meat or leek eggs.

She thought for a moment, and then said quietly, "Only the leek itself." 8。

Recently, the high temperature has continued. The reporter interviewed a citizen, a black man in Lu Yu, and asked, "Can you tell me whether it is hot in Shanghai or in Africa?" The black man replied, "I repeat, I am not African." I got a tan in Shanghai. "

4. Want to hear an interesting joke?

There is a boy on two stones. He doesn't stutter, but he speaks slowly. One day, just after the rain stopped, the boy's father took him to the hillside to pick bamboo shoots. He came to a steep hillside. The boy's father was concentrating on picking bamboo shoots when suddenly a stone fell. Boy: "Dad.

. Yes .. (alas! Father screamed! )。

. Stone. Head.

. ! Father: Why are you so slow at this time? Fortunately, it's just a scratch! The father thought it would be good to do this again in the future, so he exercised the boy and said, "Dad! There are stones! " At least you can react quickly when you say this. One day, according to the usual habit, I asked the boy to say it again before going out. The boy said, "Dad! There are stones! " Father: "Well! Not bad! That's good.

This time, I came to the place where the accident happened last time. The boy was carrying a box on his back, and his father went to pick bamboo shoots with confidence. Unfortunately, another stone rolled down. The boy said, "Dad! There are stones! Father jumps out of the car warily! Yes

(alas! ) two. . One.

. ! 」。

Step 5 collect humorous jokes

In the religious class, the young female teacher was very pious to the students and told the story of the Bible.

After the story was finished, she asked Tommy sitting in the front row, "Can you tell me what we should do before God forgives us?" Tomby stood up seriously and said, "We should commit crimes first." One day in chemistry class, when the chemistry teacher was talking about "the properties of active metals", he gave an example and said, "I represent active metals, one generation of alkali and another generation of water, and I can react with water and alkali.

What does it matter? ""love triangle! "The teacher answered all his life and was furious. According to the requirements of the new school, transfer students must fill out the "Transfer Self-assessment Form".

In the column "Have you ever been punished for cheating in the exam", he filled in the word "No". The next column is "explain why", and he continues to write: "Never missed it".

Collect funny jokes

1: Boyfriend and girlfriend share a room, and the woman draws a clear line and says, "It's animals who cross the border."

Woke up and found that the man really didn't cross the line. The woman slapped the man hard: "You are worse than an animal." The next day, the men and women in the same room still drew a cordon. The man took the last lesson and planned to cross the line late at night, but he didn't succeed because of nervousness.

After dawn, the woman slapped the man and said, "I didn't expect you to be worse than an animal." In the hospital, a family is very happy to have a baby. When the baby was born, he spoke. The child said, "Grandpa."

Grandpa sighed when he died. The child said, "Grandma."

Grandma sighed when she died. The child said, "Dad."

His father died and saw that he was not dead. At this time, the child's uncle died. 3. Kangaroos and frogs fuck chickens. The kangaroo finished it with three strokes and two strokes, and only listened to the frog next door all night. One, two, three. Hey! Kangaroos are so envious. The next day, the kangaroo said, "Wow! ~ ~ Brother Frog, you are great.

"The frog said," Fuck, I didn't jump on the bed all night! ~ ~ "4: I saw a person who didn't reply to the post in the supermarket that day. He quietly put his hand on the barcode scanner and saw the screen display: 8 yuan, the pig's trotter, thought the machine was broken and put his face away. Results The screen shows: Pig 5 yuan 5: An elephant asked the camel,' How did you grow on your back?' The camel said,' Stay away from death, I won't talk to anything with a penis on my face! 6. The kindergarten female teacher led the students to swim and accidentally showed an X hair. A student asked, Teacher, what is that? The female teacher pulled it out cruelly and said, thread! Little girls always show off their new toys to little boys. The little boy had no choice but to take off his pants and say, you'll never have this! The girl also took off her pants and said, my mother said that as long as you have this, you can have as many things as you want! At eight o'clock sharp, a row of * * * is waiting for guests in the street. An 80-year-old lady saw it and asked curiously, What are you waiting for? * * * grumpily said: Wait for the lollipop! Old women also lined up to join the team, waiting for sugar. As a result, she was arrested by the police. The policeman asked the old woman: Is it ok to have no teeth? The old woman smiled and said, I can lick it! ! ! 9. The driver sent the leader to the literary evening, and the leader entered the venue. The driver was stopped by the security guard. The driver said: I am a system with the leader. The security guard said: Chicken X and eggs are also a system. Chicken X went in, but can eggs go in? 10: One day, a certain gentleman's wife gave birth to a baby. He rushed to the hospital to visit and waited for n hours. There was crying in the delivery room. He shouted happily, I'm dad! At this time, the doctor came out with a sad face and told him that the child was born deformed.

A gentleman stayed there and didn't understand why. Suddenly, his wife's crying came from the delivery room: it was all because of the murder that day. If you don't reply, you will get what you deserve.