Funny jokes in Sichuan dialect

Funny Sichuan dialect joke 1:

Joke 1

Sparrows and crows form a dragon gate array together.

The sparrow said, what kind of bird are you?

The crow said: I am your phoenix!

Sparrow said: How can there be a phoenix as black as your turtle son?

The crow said: You know a shovel, and I am the phoenix sulfur that burns the boiler.

Joke 2

A teacher gives his students homework. Begging? And then what? Requirements? Make sentences.

After the exercise book was handed in, one of them answered all his life: Yesterday, my mother stewed a pot of pig's trotters, which was not cooked. My father ate a piece and said, Please don't move? . Mom said:? Please chew! ?

Joke 3

The plane shook violently.

Flight attendant:? Ladies and gentlemen, there is always something wrong with the plane. Both engines are broken. We may be late. "

Passenger: "When I drove your mother, it was a wave. If all four engines are old, aren't we going to spend the night in the sky? "

Funny Sichuan dialect joke 2:

Joke 4: A Cantonese goes to a fruit stand in Chongqing to buy apples.

Cantonese: How much is your ass (apple)?

Female vendors in Chongqing: hooligans

Cantonese: sixty cents is sixty cents. I want your ass (apple)

Chongqing people called the police, and Guangdong people were inexplicably taken to the police station.

Policeman: Where are you from?

Cantonese: Lixian people (Japanese ancestors)

Policeman: I asked where are you from?

Cantonese: Lixian people (your ancestors)! ! !

The police are very angry.

Policeman: I asked where are you from?

Cantonese people are also on fire

Cantonese: Lixian people (your ancestors)! ! ! ! !

Cantonese people were beaten.

Policeman: Tell me honestly, where are you from?

The Cantonese replied sadly: I am still from Lixian (your ancestor)! ! !

Helpless, the police dropped a piece of paper to let Cantonese people reflect and write down what happened.

Cantonese wrote: I went to buy apples and asked him how much it was. He said sixty cents a catty, and then I was inexplicably taken to the police station.

The police uncle asked me where I was from, and I said I was from Calendar County, and then I was beaten. All of the above are true! Ho ho. ..........................

Joke 5

CCTV reporter asked Chengdu bus fire survivors: Is there a hammer on the bus?

Survivor: There is a hammer!

Reporter: Do you have a hammer? Why didn't you break the window?

Survivor: Mod! A hammer! A hammer!

Reporter: What? There are two hammers!

Survivor: Oh, there's a shovel!

Reporter: Shovel? That can also be used to smash windows!

Survivor: smash a hammer window!

Reporter: Is it a broken window, not a hammer?

Survivor: Oh, I'll tell you a hammer!

Reporter: I said the window!

Survivor: Hammer!

Reporter: What's in that car?

Survivor: There is a wool!

Reporter: Oh, no wonder it burns so fast!

Summary: Be sure to bring a hammer when you go out. If you don't have a hammer, you should get close to it. If you have a hammer, you should hold it tightly. Where there is a hammer, there is a hammer.

Joke 6

There are two Hong Kong people coming to check in at the front desk, which may not have been booked in advance.

I heard the receptionist ask him with Trump. Excuse me, are you from Xuan (Sichuan dialect, which just means temporary)?

Hong Kong people obviously don't understand? Xuan is here? What do you mean? Your expression is blank.

So the waiter repeated it emphatically:? I mean, are you spinning around here? .

Hong kong people are still hesitating, thinking hard for a while, and finally talking: me? I didn't fly, I flew! ?

The waiter quickly covered his mouth and rushed into the toilet to laugh and vomit?

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