The funniest English joke in history

The funniest English joke in history:

The wife said to her husband who reads newspapers all day: I wish I were a newspaper, so that I can be in your hand all day.

Husband: I hope so, too, so that I can change you every day

The funniest English joke in history:

Bert took his St Bernard to the vet.

"Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail."

The vet stepped back. "Bert, why did I do such a terrible thing?"

"Because my mother-in-law is coming tomorrow, I don't want anything to make her feel welcome."

The funniest English joke in history:

One day, a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mice, so she ran out of the house, got on a bus and went to the shop. She bought a mousetrap there. The shopkeeper said to her, "put some cheese in it, and you will catch the mouse soon."

The lady came home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she couldn't find any cheese in it. She didn't want to go back to the store, because it was late, so she cut out a picture of cheese from the magazine and put it in the folder.

Surprisingly, the picture of cheese is quite successful! The next morning, when the lady came to the kitchen, she found a picture of a mouse in the folder next to the cheese picture!

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