Ask for some super funny jokes.

What's your annual salary?

B:100000.

A: There were more than 800,000 that month!

Yes, this is the basic salary.

A: Not bad. What do you do?

B: Dreamer ...

Second,

1,' happiness' means that cats eat fish, dogs eat meat, and Altman beats little monsters.

2. The' generation gap' means that I asked my dad what he thought of the' chrysanthemum table', and he said that he had never drunk it.

3.' Narcissism' means that you must be reborn as a woman in your next life and then marry a man like me.

4,' speechless' means that the judge asked: Why do you want to print counterfeit money? The criminal said: I can't print real money.

5.' Despair' means that the restaurant ordered two dishes and ate the first one:' There are worse things in the world.

Really? ! Eat the second' shit! Yes!

6.' Collapse' means that an old lady walks into KFC and says to the waiter, I want a KFC.

A McDonald's and a hamburger.

3. What is a white-collar worker?

Today, I paid my salary, paid the loan, paid the rent, utilities, bought oil, rice, instant noodles and touched my mouth.

The money left in the bag sighed: this month's salary is white-collar again.

The foreman said that his salary would be paid soon, and he still owed his own accommodation, meals, lost time and medical expenses.

Boss/kloc-more than 0/00, too lazy to take it. He is called the blue collar.

four

One day, the geography teacher asked the students, where does this river go?

A student suddenly stood up and sang: The river flows eastward.

The teacher ignored him and then said, how many stars are there in the sky?

That classmate sang again: the stars in the sky can participate in Beidou.

The teacher is short of breath: get out!

Student: Just leave.

The teacher said helplessly, are you sick?

Student: You have everything I have!

Teacher: Try again … ..

Student: shout when you see an uneven road!

Teacher: Do you believe I hit you?

Student: Do it when you should ...

The teacher was angry: I told you to drop out of school!

Student: Rush into Kyushu!

five

MM got out of the taxi and left her camera in the back seat.

When the driver saw it, he quickly put his head out of the window.

Shout at MM: "Miss, your camera!"

MM blushed and turned to scold: "You are like a fucking duck!"

Then the taxi left. .....

Then mm chased the car and shouted: master, my camera ~ ~ ~ ~! My camera ~ ~ ~ ~

six

Xiao Wang works in the personnel department on 10 floor. A month ago, he was transferred to the administrative department on the ninth floor. ......

Today, Xiao Wang called the personnel department to find him: "Is Xiao Wang there?"

The colleague who answered the phone said, "Xiao Wang is no longer in the personnel."

Xiao Wang: "Ah! ? When did this happen? I don't know. I haven't had time to send it to him yet? "

"It doesn't matter, you can look for him below."

1. Ghost: God, next time I want to be as white as an angel with wings, but I still want to suck blood. God: Then reincarnate as a nurse.

2. A friend sold popsicles in the park for the first time, so he was embarrassed to shout. Then suddenly someone shouted "sell popsicles ~ ~ ~ sell popsicles ~ ~". Hearing this, my friend shouted happily, "Me too ~ ~ Me too ~ ~".

Ants and elephants died soon after they got married. While burying the elephant, the ant wept bitterly: "Dear, why did you leave so early?" I will bury you if I don't do anything else in my life! " "

4. When a boy secretly loves a girl, he dares to ask her what kind of boy she likes. The girl answered, even asked several times, and the answer was the same. The boy was very discouraged and said, "Is a flat head ok?"

One day, I was out of breath to catch the last bus and shouted: Master! Master, wait for me ~ Suddenly a passenger poked his head out of the window and said to me slowly: Wukong. Don't chase.

6. One day I had a physical examination, and one of the questions was to guess the name of a bird by looking at its legs. A student really couldn't understand it, so he tore up the paper in a rage and was ready to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him, "What class are you in? What's your name? " A student lifted his trousers and said, "Guess, guess."

7. After the beautiful Mongolian actress finished her performance, the leader took the stage to receive her. Then her hand asked her if she was cold and warm, and she refused to let go for a long time. She asked kindly, what's your name? The actress replied excitedly, "Maragobi Matsumoto".

8. A man bought a parrot that can only speak two words. One day, when the master was not at home, a ventilator knocked at the door. Parrot: Who is it? A: Gas converter. Parrot: Who is it? Answer: gas converter ... the owner was lying at the door when he came home. The shopkeeper wants to know whose door this is: the ventilator.

9. A person saw a pile of things on the road, squatted down and smelled it, said it might be poop, touched it with his hand and licked it in his mouth. It was really poop, but fortunately he didn't step on it! ~

10. The doctor asked the patient how the fracture happened. A: I feel sand in my shoes, so I shake my shoes with a telephone pole. I shook and shook ... a man thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a wooden stick and gave me two.

1 1. A professor is giving a lecture on the spot: "Don't be afraid of being dirty in scientific research. . . "Then he squatted down, poked the cow dung on the ground with his finger, and then put his finger in his mouth and licked it clean. A classmate quickly said, "I'm not afraid of being dirty." . . "Then I poked the cow dung on the ground with my finger and licked it in my mouth. Professor: "Besides, I should be good at observation. I just poked dung with my middle finger, but I licked my index finger. . . "

12. In a public toilet, Mr. A was constipated and couldn't pull it out for a long time. Then another man, Mr. B, rushed in, just squatted down and pulled happily. After listening, Mr. A said, "Dude, I really envy you. You are so happy." Mr. B said, "What is there to envy? I haven't taken off my pants yet ... "

13. A gentleman was practicing riding a bike when a pedestrian came up to him. A gentleman panicked and shouted, "Stop! Stop! " The pedestrians stopped in a daze. But a gentleman rode so badly that he knocked down a pedestrian. Pedestrians got up and got angry: "You told me to stop! You have a good aim, don't you! "

14. Beautiful sister, 2 years old. One day, I called her mother and the little guy answered the phone. Out of courtesy, I also want to say hello to her. "Honey, where's mom?" "Go to Huaguoshan!" "..." "Honey, what are you doing?" "Aunt, you are so funny. I'm not calling you! " My colleague's son, 4 years old. A classic saying: "When I was young ..."

15. There was an accident on the expressway-the tortoise trampled the cow to death. Pol.ice is investigating the cause of the accident and says, Snail: How did the tortoise hit you? The lying cow in plaster recalled sadly: I don't remember, he was too fast!