A clumsy joke

Classic paragraph selection, specializing in all kinds of chicken soup for the soul!

One day, the dog asked the wolf, do you have a house or a car? The wolf said no, and the dog asked, do you have any fruit for three meals a day? The wolf said no, did you have anyone to coax you to play and take you shopping? The wolf said no. The dog said contemptuously, you are so incompetent, why have nothing! The wolf smiled: I don't eat shit, I have the goal I pursue, I have the freedom you don't have, I am a lonely wolf, and you are just a happy dog!

2. The disciple asked the teacher: Can you tell me something strange about human beings? The teacher replied: they are eager to grow up and then lament the lost childhood; They exchanged health for money, and soon they wanted to use money to restore health. They are anxious about the future, but ignore the happiness of the present. Therefore, they live neither in the present nor in the future. They live as if they would never die. It seems that he never lived before he died.

3. When a drop of ink falls into a glass of clear water, the glass of water immediately changes color and can't be drunk; A drop of ink melts in the sea, and the sea is still blue. Why? Because their stomachs are different. Immature ears of wheat stand upright, and mature ears of wheat hang their heads. Why? Because the weight of the two is different. Tolerance of others is magnanimity; Humility is weight; Together, it is a person's quality.

4, chickens lay eggs, chickens also shit, but you must only eat eggs, not shit. Chickens are like this, and so are people. Every excellent person can lay eggs and shit. For example, he is good at starting a company, and you can buy his stock to make money; As for his nonsense, you don't have to learn. The most important thing for you is to eat more eggs, ignore chicken excrement, absorb nutrients and keep fit. Many people don't eat eggs and pursue bullshit all day. Can eating shit make you stronger?

5. Master asked: What if you want to boil a pot of boiling water and find there is not enough wood in the middle of the fire? Some disciples said to find it quickly, some said to borrow it, and some said to buy it. Master said: Why not pour some water from the pot? Things can't be all right, you can only get it by giving up.

6. According to a survey by Harvard, there are only seven chances to decide the direction of life on average, and the interval between two opportunities is about seven years. It began to appear after the age of 25, and there was no chance after the age of 75. The seven opportunities in these 50 years are not easy to seize for the first time because they are too young; Don't catch it for the last time, because it's too old. There are only five times left, and two of them will be accidentally missed, so there are actually only three chances.

7. The old Lama said to the little Lama: When you came into this world, you were crying, but everyone else was happy; When you die, others are crying, but you are happy. Therefore, death is not sad, life is not happy.

8. The old man said to the child: clench your fist and tell me what it feels like. The child clenched his fist: a little tired! Old man: Try to use more force! Child: Tired! A little breathless! Old man: Then let it be! The child has grown up: much easier! Old man: When you feel tired, the tighter you hold, the more tired you get. Put it down and let it go! What a simple truth! It's easy to let go!

9. If you accidentally lost 100 yuan, it seems that you lost it somewhere. Will you spend 200 yuan to get it back? A stupid question, but similar things happen constantly in life: being scolded for a word, but spending countless hours feeling sad; Angry for one thing, at the expense of others, at the expense of blood, just for revenge; Losing a person's feelings, knowing that everything is irreparable, is still sad for a long time.

Turk all kinds of chicken soup! crack me up

1, love is not commonly encountered in corners, only beggars.

Young man, it's nothing to have no money now, and there will be many days when there will be no money in the future.

I have worked hard for so long, but if I have a little talent, I should have some signs of success.

4. After many years, recalling the college entrance examination is not good or bad in essence. It is important for young people to get together, do a test and then decide which city to shop in.

Some beautiful and educated girls had the opportunity to marry rich second generation officials, but many of them were attracted by boys who were good-looking, had a high degree in prestigious schools, had just graduated and worked in a well-known foreign company, and worked overtime until late to exercise. I feel that people are motivated and have potential. After five or six years, their intestines are all regretful.

6, girls in front of good-looking cold and warm self-knowledge is weak.

7. Every time I see the poor travel log, I feel poor, so don't go out to surf.

8. Those who look good can be called foodies, and those who don't look good can only be called gits.

9. Another day has passed. How's it going? Is the dream farther?

10 Do you think boys like it as long as they are beautiful? Do you think that as long as you have money, beautiful girls will post it themselves? Do you think you can find a good job by learning to bully? Let me tell you, and then all this is true!

1 1. Don't worry about the problems you can't solve today. Because it may not be solved tomorrow.

12, don't lose weight, you are ugly not only because you are fat.

13. I used to think that people who rely on relationships must be very incompetent. After contact, I found that people are better than you.

14, nothing is difficult in the world, if you put your mind to it. People are divided into groups, and lovers get married. Then we are willing to fly in heaven, kill two birds with one stone and be local tyrants.

15, mom didn't mean you. Look at the person you are looking for. It's too ugly to understand. I feel ashamed if I tell others that this is my son-in-law.

His family owns more than one billion dollars.

Of course, people don't have to live so vain. Why should they care what other people think? What's more, love is blind, and mom supports you!

16, laziness is a good excuse, as if you can really do great things as long as you are diligent.

17, I used to earn very little money on my knees, so I imitated those excellent people and tried to stand up. As a result, I lost my job.

18, the reason of princess disease is nothing but ugliness or poverty. What about those who are rich and beautiful but have a bad temper? That kind of princess is not called illness.

19, my face is perfect as long as it covers two places! One is the right side of the face and the other is the left side of the face.

20. Making money is an ability, and spending money is a technology. My ability is limited, but my skill is high.

chicken soup for the soul

Excerpted from the latest chicken soup for the soul 1. A person wants to be mediocre, and there are few obstructionists; There are many obstacles for a person to be outstanding. Many mediocre people have a harmonious relationship with the people around them, and many excellent people have a tense relationship with them.

2. Married men and women are overjoyed.

3. Third-rate makeup is the makeup on the face; Second-rate makeup is spiritual makeup; First-class makeup is the makeup of life.

One word crisis means danger, and the other word means opportunity. Don't give up any efforts.

5. Being a hero, a talent and a fool.

6. Always think of your lover, stand the nagging of your lover, and be humble to your lover. A man should be the general manager.

7. In a threesome, there must be a teacher, a swordsman, a strong person, a love triangle and a wound.

8. A person's eyesight has two functions: one is to go out and expand the world infinitely; The other is to come inward and discover the heart infinitely and profoundly.

9. When it's time to let go, let go. Forgiving others is actually leaving a large piece of land for yourself.

10. admit the shortcomings in real life and make up for them through your own efforts.

1 1. In a sense, what a person has in his heart is what he sees.

12. Most of the confusion is because the vision is not big enough. How does a frog in the well know what a broad sky is?

13. With an optimistic and positive attitude, grasp the scale of communication with others, make yourself a person who makes others happy, make your happy heart an energy source of sunshine, radiate others, warm others, and let family, friends and even the wider society get some gratifying reasons from yourself.

14. God is above and holiness is below, which is the personality ideal of China people: there is an idealistic sky that can soar freely without compromising many rules and obstacles in the real world; He also has the ability to be down-to-earth and expand his behavior in this land.

15. China's philosophy advocates a solemn rationality and gentle beauty.

16. True harmony is not only the harmony between neighbors in a community, but also the harmony between people, including the harmonious and happy growth of everything on earth; People have a reverence for all things in nature, a conformity and a tacit understanding.

17. A happy life in the material sense is only an indicator. The real sense of stability and heartfelt recognition of the regime come from faith.

18. Only a true saint will not be burdened by material life and can always maintain inner peace and tranquility.

19. The fiercer the competition, the more you need to adjust your mentality and your relationship with others.

20. Caring for others is kindness, and understanding others is wisdom.

Appreciation of the latest chicken soup for the soul

1. The most important person in this world is the person you need help most at this moment. The most important thing is to do it at once. The most important time is now, and there is no time to delay.

Every one of us will inevitably have regrets and disappointments in our life. Maybe we can't change this fact, but what we can change is our attitude towards these things. Treat the shortcomings and sufferings in life with a peaceful mind.

If you cry because you missed the sun, you will also miss the stars.

4. The benevolent is not worried, the wise is not confused, and the brave is not afraid. The inner strength can resolve many regrets in life.

To be strong inside, one premise is to underestimate the gains and losses of things outside.

6. He has a kind of self-confidence and calmness under the restriction of reason in his heart, which is because he is broad-minded and ambitious.

7. Actually, it's like we have half a bottle of wine in front of us. Pessimists say: Why is there only half a bottle of such a good wine? The optimist said: there is still half a bottle of such a good wine!

8. If your mind is bright and kind, and you are honest and brave, then you may gain a lot of unexpected things.

9. If you want to be a person who is willing to communicate with you and can communicate with you, the most important thing is that you have an open mind.

10. Respond directly to complaints, repay kindness with kindness, and advocate a respect for life efficiency and personality.

1 1. Always follow the monarch (leader) when something happens. Although it is near, it is not far from bring disgrace to oneself. I'm always with my friends when I have something to do. Although it seems close, it is not far from your alienation.

12. We should respect everyone equally and rationally, and leave some discretion and space for each other. The flowers are not in full bloom and the moon is not round. This is the best state in the world. Once the flowers are in full bloom, they will soon wither. Once the moon is full, it will soon be incomplete. But not completely open, not completely round, or let your heart look forward to, look forward to.

13. Think more, listen more and observe carefully. The advantage of doing this is to let yourself regret less. Before we do something, we should consider the consequences. When we do something, we should think far and be cautious again, so as to avoid hurting others and reduce future regrets. It's important to use your head when you speak and consider the consequences when you do things.

14. Cultivate yourself with respect, maintain a serious and respectful attitude, cultivate yourself to help others, and then try to make others happy on the premise of cultivating yourself. Self-cultivation is the first prerequisite for being responsible to the country and society. It is a belief, a feeling and a social responsibility to worry about the world first and enjoy it later, but the premise is very simple, starting from the foot. Self-cultivation and self-improvement are the starting points.

15. When a person has no worries, doubts and fears in his heart, he will naturally reduce his complaints and accusations to the outside world, thus enhancing his ability to grasp happiness, and enhancing his ability to grasp happiness is the ultimate goal of learning.

16. A villain is a person who has no big vision and seizes the petty gain in front of him.

17. Building a harmonious society is to harmoniously integrate everyone's different voices into the existing collective voices. True harmony is a kind of tolerance and integration of others on the premise of adhering to different voices and different viewpoints.

18. The power of a gentleman is always the power of action, not the power of words.

19. Make friends with people who can improve their moral character, self-cultivation and enrich your connotation. Make friends who are happy, can enjoy life and can live in poverty.

20. The true happiness of life is the happiness of the soul, which is sometimes not necessarily closely related to the external material life. The power of true happiness comes from the richness of the soul, from an education, from the ideal expectation, and from the communication and communication with good friends.

The latest collection of chicken soup for the soul

1. Every adult has his glory and hidden pain in his life. A true good friend should not touch his hidden pain easily.

When people are young, they are all living by addition, but at a certain level, they must learn to live by subtraction. If your mind is full of income, you will eventually get tired of it.

Choosing a friend means choosing a lifestyle. Self-cultivation is the premise of making good friends, which is equivalent to opening the friendliest world for yourself. Can make your life brilliant.

A person's ambition is very important and determines the development direction of his life.

In today's view, a person's development often lies not in how high the ultimate ideal is, but in what kind of starting point there is. We often don't lack lofty aspirations, but accumulate the practical road to that volunteer step by step.

6. A successful career is not necessarily your ideal.

7. When doing things, a person should know what etiquette is, that is, he should restrain himself, have firm and uncompromising standards in his heart, be useful to society and do things for society.

8. The ideal way is to give us some resources and reserve spiritual happiness.

9. Learn to integrate limited knowledge into life. While studying, thinking and applying.

10. Growth means gradually strengthening inner strength through experience. The so-called return of life is to turn external things into internal forces.

2020 Soul Chicken Soup Tablets

Excerpted from 20xx chicken soup for the soul 1. The real question is not whether your spouse is the best candidate, but whether you are trying to be the best candidate for your spouse.

The only advantage of telling the truth is that you don't have to remember what you said.

3. You can offend busy people because they have no time to care about you; Never offend idle people, because they have time to deal with you.

4. The highest level of eating buffet: help the wall in, help the wall out.

If you can't change your appearance, you can change your expression.

6. Men haven't seen lotus flowers for a long time, and they begin to think peony looks good.

7. More important than taking a bath and sauna is brainwashing. It stinks if you don't take a shower, and it will be eliminated by the times if you don't brainwash.

8. Don't trust your memory too much. People in there may not miss you so much.

9. There should be a better way to start a new day than waking up every morning.

10. Toad wants to eat swan meat. Well done, little guy. Ambitious.

1 1. Being rich is not having more, but wanting less.

12. When you fail, a hand to wipe tears is more important than countless pairs of hands to congratulate you on your success.

13. One of the signs of a person's maturity is to understand that% of what happens to him every day is meaningless to others.

14. Ordinary people get lost in the present and regret the past. Sages wake up in the present and get rid of it in the future.

15. Abstaining from anger is the method of keeping in good health, and keeping quiet, managing the family, being spontaneous, saving trouble, and doing good deeds and cultivating the mind are the methods of birth. Obey these four laws, and the outcome will be within reach.

16. Life is like a play, because meeting is predestined. It's not easy to feel sorry for each other until you get old. Should we cherish it more? There's no need to turn back when you lose your temper over trifles. I am not angry when others are angry, and there is no one to replace me when I am sick. I'm sad. Who will be satisfied? Besides, it's frustrating and laborious. Don't compare with neighbors, let children and grandchildren do trivial things, suffer hardships and have fun together, and the gods envy good partners.

17. People can't stand it, and pedestrians can't stand it. Name: Nobita. Therefore, it is named: Daxiong Hall. That is, Buddha also.

18. Patience is a kind of wealth. I can't bear to think about it once, and fighting for strength is a catastrophe. I can't stand being angry and pestering you all my life, so what's the harm of making people step by step and making a fortune is no trouble.

19. Hanshan asked Pickup: Some people in Jiantianxia slander me, insult me, laugh at me and despise me. What should I do? Pick it up and say, just bear him to avoid him, and let him bear him to ignore him. You will meet him in a few years.

20. Hold on for a while, calm down, take a step back and broaden your horizons.

Appreciation of 20xx Soul Chicken Soup

1. Evil is a plow, and good is mud. Good people are often bullied by evil people, and the iron plough is getting worse every year, and the mud is not changed in the field.

2. There is no open fire, forbearance is the nemesis of the enemy, but you have to go backwards.

To what extent you can endure, you can achieve much in your future career.

If you give in to yourself, you can get along with others. If you win well, you will meet the enemy.

If you don't think twice, you will always lose, and people can bear it without worrying.

6. Right and wrong are liberated because they don't argue, troubles are wise because they endure humiliation, and things are meritorious because they try their best.

7. Everything is tolerable. It is better to be patient than to argue.

8. Hurtful words, like water, are irreparable.

9. Always being kind is always a beautiful day.

10. It is better to talk more than to talk less.

1 1. Be reasonable, forgive others and be straightforward.

12. Not afraid of many things, but afraid of many things.

13. True charity is to let go of all troubles and worries.

14. Let go of your distractions and feel at ease.

15. Learning Buddhism means learning to be a man. Buddhism is the way to complete the awakening of life, and practice is to correct one's own behavior and thoughts.

16. Choose people to make friends, books to read, words to listen to and people to do.

17. A person's happiness is not because he has more, but because he cares less.

18. Being angry is to punish yourself with other people's faults. To forgive others is to be kind to yourself.

19. It's not necessarily that the more money, the more fun it is, but that the more money makes you worry. Being poor and happy is really comfortable.

20. Sitting still, always thinking about yourself, gossiping about other people's mistakes, being a man with lofty ideals who can bear hardships, being willing to bear hardships, not being an idiot, respecting gentlemen to be wise and being afraid of villains to be incompetent, can calm down three points. If you want to make progress, you need to think backwards. If you start thinking about letting go first, if you are proud, don't go back. Everything should be more than one step. Holding gold is precious, knowing that happiness is valuable, thinking twice when something happens, and patience is the highest when you are angry. Don't covet unexpected wealth, people who are satisfied are always happy. If you can do things like this, you will be happy all your life.

Highlights of 20xx Soul Chicken Soup Tablets

1. You don't have to work hard, but doing nothing is work. You don't have to feel virtuous, but complaining is virtuous.

2. Peace is luck, contentment is happiness, purity of mind is wealth, and no desire is just longevity.

3. People who want more are narrow-minded, while those who want less are broad-minded.

I would rather be poor than rich or sad.

5. when you are deeply concerned, you should retreat first, and when you are proud, you can rest.

6. Unlimited potential, endless blessings, endless cheapness and endless cleverness.

7. A drop of water wears through a stone, not with great strength, but with great skill.

If you don't frown all your life, there should be no gnashing people in the world.

9. You must make friends with the right people, but never with the wrong people. Drink quiet tea, not greedy for fancy wine. Open the door of convenience and idle the mouth of right and wrong.

10. Many rooms make wind, but many words make trouble.

Mei ri Xin ling chicken soup

1. Most enemies become comrades-in-arms for survival, and most comrades-in-arms become enemies for money.

What you get is low-level happiness, and what you ask for is high-level happiness.

3. In the world,% people take advantage of small losses, while% people eat small losses and suffer big losses. Most successful people come from that%.

If people live by eating, that meal is not called rice, but called feed.

It is easy for China to learn from Americans, but it is difficult for China to learn from China.

6. The premise of a person's luck is actually that he has the ability to change himself.

7. People's growth should be educated from four aspects: parents, teachers, books and society. Interestingly, the latter always seems to run counter to the first three.

8. Managing your strengths can add value to your life; Managing your shortcomings will devalue your life.

9. Life is like a green leaf, which turns yellow as time goes by, but its veins are still so clearly visible.

10. It is very simple to complicate things, and it is very complicated to simplify things.

1 1. If it is a grass, even the best enterprise can't grow into a big tree. In that case, it is better to experience the storm and cultivate yourself into a valuable flower.

12.2 1 The survival rule of century work is to build a personal brand and turn your name into money.

13. I am afraid that my father is filial piety and my wife is love.

There are no unqualified students, only unqualified parents.

15. The earth is moving, and a person will not be in an unlucky position forever.

16. We can avoid everyone, but we can't avoid a fly. What makes us unhappy in life is often trivial things.

17. There is a kind of person who only does two things: you succeed and he is jealous of you; You failed and he laughed at you.

18. Stupid man+stupid woman = marriage; Stupid man+smart woman = divorce; Smart man+stupid woman = extramarital affairs; Smart man+smart woman = romantic love.

19. Any fool will seduce a girl; But only mature men know how to leave her.

20. People have two eyes, both of which are parallel, and they should look at people equally; People's ears are two-sided, so don't listen to one side of the story; Although people have only one heart, they have left and right atria, so they should not only think for themselves, but also for others.

Daily appreciation of chicken soup for the soul

1. A slip of the tongue is to tell the truth by accident.

Sincerity does not mean blaming others for their shortcomings, but not praising them.

Human nature is greedy, but without greed, society will not progress.

4. Love is missing a person's heart, marriage is tying a person's heart, and love is swallowing a person's heart.

The best attack is to attack yourself.

6. The meaning of life lies not in holding a good hand, but in playing a bad one.

7. Success is an idea, getting rich is an obligation and happiness is a right.

8. Competition is actually a kind of friendship. With the help of your opponent, you can improve your intelligence. Those who are afraid of competition have lost to their opponents.

9. Money can help the poor solve problems, but it can also help the rich create problems.

10. Love a person and take risks; It is dangerous to put love into many people.

1 1. Only those who can't figure it out, there is no road that can't be taken.

12. Real wealth is a way of thinking, not a monthly income figure.

13. A person wants to be mediocre, and there are few obstructionists; There are many obstacles for a person to be outstanding. Many mediocre people have a harmonious relationship with the people around them, and many excellent people have a tense relationship with them.

14. Married men and women are overjoyed.

15. Third-rate makeup is the makeup on the face; Second-rate makeup is spiritual makeup; First-class makeup is the makeup of life.

16. The word crisis means danger, and the other means opportunity. Don't give up any efforts.

17. He is a hero, a talent and a fool.

18. Always think of your lover, stand up to his nagging and be humble to your lover, and a man should be the general manager.

19. In a threesome, there must be one teacher and three musketeers, and there must be one strong one. In a love triangle, there must be a wound.

20. A person's eyesight has two functions: one is to go out and expand the world infinitely; The other is to come inward and discover the heart infinitely and profoundly.

Highlights of daily chicken soup for the soul

1. Let go when it's time to let go. Forgiving others is actually leaving a large piece of land for yourself.

2. Admit the shortcomings in real life and make up for them through your own efforts.

In a sense, what a person sees is what he has in his heart.

4. Most of the confusion is because the vision is not big enough. How does a frog in the well know what a broad sky is?

5. With an optimistic and positive attitude, grasp the measure of communication with others, make yourself a person who makes others happy, make your happy heart an energy source of sunshine, radiate others, warm others, and let family, friends and even the wider society get some reasons for comfort from yourself.

6. God is above and holiness is below, which is the personality ideal of China people: an idealistic sky, freedom to fly, and no compromise on many rules and obstacles in the real world; He also has the ability to be down-to-earth and expand his behavior in this land.

7. China's philosophy advocates a solemn rationality and gentle beauty.

8. True harmony is not only the harmony between neighbors in a community, but also the harmony between people, including the harmonious and happy growth of everything on earth; People have a reverence for all things in nature, a conformity and a tacit understanding.

9. A happy life in the material sense is only an indicator. A true sense of stability and heartfelt recognition of the regime come from faith.

10. Only a true saint will not be burdened by material life and can always maintain inner peace and tranquility.