Give some unique jokes

Teacher: Xiaoxin, please use "difficulty" to make a sentence. Xiaoxin: I was in a dilemma during the exam. Teacher: Is it because you don’t know the answer to the question, which puts you in a dilemma? Xiaoxin: No, it was because the students on the left and right had different answers, which put me in a dilemma.

2--A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, "Where are you from?" If you don’t tell me, I’ll electrocute you! A college student replied to his enemy and was electrocuted to death. He said: I am from TV University!

3--Sister: "Little sister, what are you doing?"

Sister: "I am writing a letter to my good friend Dawa."

Sister: "Can you write letters before you go to school?"

Sister: "It doesn't matter, because Dawa doesn't know how to read letters either."

4-- A hunter went hunting in the jungle with his wife and mother-in-law. They walked all day and camped deep in the jungle that night. Early the next morning, the wife woke up and found that her mother was missing. She quickly woke up the hunter and went out to look for her together. As a result, they saw a shocking scene in an open space not far from the camp: the mother-in-law and a ferocious lion were face to face in a stalemate. "What should we do?" the wife asked in panic. "No need!" the husband replied, "This lion has provoked people it shouldn't have provoked, so let it figure it out on its own!"

5--Reporter interviews pandas: Do you have any wishes in this life? ? Panda said: 2 ideals. First, I want to see a Chinese medicine doctor when I have time to treat my dark circles. Second, I want to take a color photo (in tears).

6--A swimming pool is to be built in a place, and the staff mobilizes people to donate money. The staff asked an old farmer what are you going to donate to this swimming pool? The old farmer said: "I will donate two buckets of water!"

7--Xiao Mao: My mother has a master's degree and my father has a doctorate. Xiaoxin: What’s so great! Xiaomao: Who are your parents? Xiaoxin: My father is a man and my mother is a woman.

8--A gecko got lost in front of a securities company. At this time, a large crocodile crawled over from a distance, ready to eat it in one bite. In desperation, the little gecko got on He hugged the crocodile's leg and shouted: "Mom!" The big crocodile was stunned for a moment, and then burst into tears: "Son, I've only been in the stock market for half a month and I'm so thin!

9--Things look a little wrong, I lost three wives in three months."

"What happened?"

"The first wife ate something poisonous. The straw mushroom died."

"What about the second wife?"

"She also died from poisonous straw mushroom."

"What about the other three? ?"

"She refused to eat poisonous straw mushrooms and died from a broken skull."

10--The little white rabbit jumped to the bakery and asked: "Boss, what are you doing?" Do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Ah, I'm so sorry, there aren't that many."

"That's it." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly. .

The next day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

Boss: "Sorry, there are still none."

"That's it..." The little white rabbit walked away dejectedly.

On the third day, the little white rabbit jumped to the bakery, "Boss, do you have a hundred buns?"

The boss said happily: "Yes. Yes, we have a hundred buns today!”

Little White Rabbit took out the money: “Great, I’ll buy two!”

The boss said to the secretary Said: I will take you to Beijing for a few days, you prepare.

The secretary called her husband: I am going to Beijing with my boss for a meeting in the next few days. You can take care of yourself.

The husband called his lover: My wife is going to Beijing on a business trip these days, let’s go out and play too.

The lover called the little boy who was tutoring him: I don’t have to go to school these days, I have something to do.

The little boy called his grandfather: Grandpa, the teacher is busy these days, so there is no need for class. You can play with me.

Grandpa called his secretary: I have to play with my grandson these days and can’t go to Beijing.

The secretary called her husband: The boss has something urgent these days, and we won’t go to Beijing for the meeting.

The husband called his lover: I can’t go out to play these days. My wife won’t go to Beijing.

The lover called the little boy who was tutoring his homework: Classes will continue as normal these days.

The little boy called his grandfather: Grandpa, I still have to go to class these days, and I can’t play with you anymore.

Grandpa called the secretary: I will take you to Beijing for a few days. Are you ready to torture you to death

In a certain elementary school, there is Two students were quarreling. A said, "You...keep calling, and I'll call someone and I'll find someone!"

B said, "You...keep calling!" I don’t believe it..."

Then A really ran to make a phone call, and when he came back he said a harsh word: "You will know how to die in 30 minutes!!!"

At this time, B was extremely nervous, but there was nothing he could do. After 30 minutes, the school broadcast: "Student B, you have a visitor, please go to the Academic Affairs Office."

" Wow!" B

Although I'm scared, thinking about it, I'm in the Academic Affairs Office, so I should be fine.

So he arrived at the Academic Affairs Office, and a young man with blond hair walked up to him and asked, "Are you B so-and-so?"

B: "I am...". "Sorry for the long wait, here are the 10 pieces of Hawaiian pizza and chicken that you ordered, 5,300 yuan."

B ordered a song for the teacher

Late at night, Teacher Wang finished correcting the last question. After reading a test paper, I turned on the radio tiredly, wanting to listen to music and relax. The DJ's voice came from the radio: "The whole class of Class This year), they have gained valuable opportunities to practice..." Upon hearing this, Teacher Wang's eyes became moist, and a comforting smile appeared on his exhausted face. The DJ continued: "...Let us listen to this song now, "You Will Not Have Good Results" by Li Huimin..." His eyes rolled white, he foamed at the mouth, and fell to the ground...

C uses idioms indiscriminately

One day, Xiaojun was writing a composition in the classroom: "My Home".

Xiao Jun wrote: "My family has three people, my father, my mother and me. Every morning when we go out, the three of us... go our separate ways, and then return to the same place in the evening. My father is a builder. I am a teacher, gesticulating on the construction site every day; my mother is a salesperson, and she is in the store every day. I am a student, and I am stunned in the classroom every day. At that time, my father also fought with the same roommate and beat me so mercilessly that I fell to the ground, while my mother stood aside and watched, never doing anything courageous."

D Healthy Baby

…After doing my homework for a long time, I turned on the radio and a gentle voice came out: “…If the skin color is red and the hair on the face is fine and soft, then it means it is very serious. Health..."

Hearing this, I couldn't help but touch my face, look in the mirror, and smile again. I looked healthy and cute.

At this time, the announcer said again: "Okay, audience friends, this is the end of our "Pig Raising Knowledge Lecture"..."

E Prank Expert

When we were in high school, some teachers treated students very badly. A group of students had been oppressed for a long time, so they decided to punish the teacher. On this day, the teacher was lecturing in class. A boy sitting in the back row had a look of pain on his face, covering his stomach with his hand and moaning softly. The teacher ignored him and continued to teach. Halfway through, the teacher just turned around and faced the blackboard to write. Notes, the boy suddenly said "Wow...!!!" (sound of vomiting) A boy at the same table poured a bottle of eight-treasure porridge on the boy's desk at a very fast speed, and the teacher replied When I turned around, I saw yellow and white things covering the table. At this time, another boy took out a small spoon and scooped up the things on the desk one by one. While chewing, he said, "Hey, this guy ate peanuts for lunch.

When the teacher saw this, he said: "Wow... concave..." and then vomited wildly.