A serial joke

A patient came to see a psychiatrist. Patient: I always thought I was a bird. Doctor: Oh, that's serious. When did it start? Patient: Because I am a bird. (2) A doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient: What would you do if I cut off one of your ears? The patient replied, then I can't hear you. The doctor listened: mm-hmm. This is normal. The doctor asked again, what will happen to you if I cut off your other ear again? The patient replied, then I won't watch it. The doctor began to get nervous: how could it not be seen? The patient replied: because the glasses will fall off. (3) Two mental patients escaped from the hospital. They ran and climbed a tree. One of them jumped from the tree and rolled and rolled. Then he looked up and said to the man above, Hey … Why don't you come down …? The man above answered him: No … Well … Ah … I'm not familiar with it yet … (4) There is an old lady in a mental hospital, wearing black clothes and wearing a black umbrella every day, squatting at the gate of the mental hospital. The doctor thought: to cure her, we must start from understanding her. So the doctor also wore black clothes, took a black umbrella and squatted there with her. The two men were silent for a month. The old lady finally said to the doctor, I'm sorry ... are you a mushroom, too? (5) A mental hospital heard that the leader would come to the hospital to inspect the situation, so the dean called a meeting of the patients in the hospital. At the meeting, the dean said: "This afternoon, there are very important leaders coming to visit, and all the people will go to the door to meet them. When welcoming, all the patients stood on both sides of the hospital gate, standing neatly. When I cough, everyone clap their hands together, the more enthusiastic the better; When I stamp my foot, I must stop completely. I can't make mistakes. If everyone is ready, we can give you meat buns tonight. As long as one person screws up, no one will have buns to eat, remember? " The patients in the audience shouted together: "Remember!" This afternoon, the leader arrived on time. When he stepped into the gate, the welcoming patient was already standing at the door. At this time, with the cough of the hospital dean, all the patients applauded and welcomed, and the atmosphere was very warm. Infected by the warm atmosphere, the visiting leaders smiled and applauded with everyone and entered the hospital. Seeing that the leader had entered the hospital, the dean stamped his foot and the applause stopped completely, very neatly. Only the leader is still smiling and clapping his hands, and the dean is very satisfied. Suddenly, a patient as strong as Schwarzenegger jumped out of the welcome crowd, strode to the leader, gave him a big slap in the face and shouted angrily, "Do you want to eat steamed buns? ! ! ! "(6) Mental patient A stole the phone book from the nurse's office back to the ward. Q B: "What do you think of the novel I recently finished?" ? B looked at it and replied, "Not bad. However, there are just a few more roles. " Then the nurse in the mental hospital came in and said, "You put the phone book back for me!" " "(8) Two mental patients of Army A and Army B recovered at the same time. Their attending doctor said to them, "If one of you is ill, the other one will take him to the hospital immediately.". "Suddenly one day, the doctor's phone rang. It turned out to be Mr. A: "Oh, no, Mr. B has been crawling in my toilet since this morning. He insisted that he was my toilet. " "Quick, quick send him! "A gentleman was silent for a while:" So … I don't have a toilet? "(9) In a mental hospital, a mental patient fishes in an empty fish tank every day. One day, a nurse jokingly asked, "How many fish did you catch today?" The mental patient suddenly jumped up and shouted, "What's the matter with you? Can't you see that this is an empty fish tank? "