Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - About a milkman's self-report-"I don't want to endure it any longer.

About a milkman's self-report-"I don't want to endure it any longer.

1. We are famous marine behemoths-whales. Although we look like fish, in fact, we belong to mammals like humans. Our whale family consists of two kinds of members, one is a baleen whale with no teeth in its mouth and the other is a toothed whale with sharp teeth in its mouth. I am a toothed whale and the overlord in the sea-killer whale.

Although I am small in the whale family, I am the bravest one. Fish, shrimp, even sharks and walruses in the sea will run away when they see me. My home is full of warmth. When my partner is injured, we will try our best to help, push it to the surface and accompany it to a safe place. My cousin, the blue whale, is the most burly animal in the whale family and the largest living animal in the world, bigger than some dinosaurs. It looks like a hill, more than 30 meters long and weighs 170 tons, which is 30 times heavier than the largest elephant on land!

We are full of treasures, and now we are on the verge of extinction due to overfishing. Alas! I really hope that human friends can treat us well. We like this beautiful and colorful world! Our brains are the largest and most complex of all animals on earth. We have a good memory and take care of each other in groups. For example, when we sleep, several partners always form a circle, with their heads inward and their tails outward to prevent other animals from sneaking up on us. Many people in my family are sea singers! For example, Moby Dick can make hundreds of sounds, and the changes of the sounds are amazing. It is a rare enjoyment to hear Moby Dick sing!

We are willing to live in harmony with our human friends, and we also hope that our human friends can give us space for free activities!

Although I look like a fish, I am not a fish, but a mammal. We whales are generally divided into two categories: one is baleen whales, which are very gentle and toothless; The other is the toothed whale, which has very sharp teeth. It only eats big fish and marine animals and never eats those small fish and shrimps. What about me? That cute baleen whale kid, eat small fish Shrimp.

My father is a killer whale, very fierce and has the reputation of "king of the sea"; Where's mom? She is recognized as a "beauty whale". She has a good voice and sings well. Every time we hold a singing contest, my mother will win the championship. Look! Mom is practicing songs there again!

Huh? There is a small fish fighting with a shrimp over there! I swam quickly, and the little fish was eaten by me. How about shrimp? Stuffed it into my stomach. Because I'm so hungry.

Oh! I forgot to tell you that when we breathe, we are different from other animals. Our nostrils grow on the top of our heads and float out of the sea as soon as we breathe. The spouted water is more beautiful than the fountain in the garden!

Another feature of our whales is that they sleep in a circle, with their heads inward and their tails outward. When they hear any sound, they will swim away immediately.

This is our family.

& Hello, everyone! I am a small whale, living in the ocean.

Almost all cetaceans: right whales, sperm whales, white whales, dolphins and other whales, have high economic value. Cutting the carcass of a razor whale can get 50 tons of whale meat, 30 tons of fat and 20 tons of bones.

The smallest cetacean is the river pig, which is closely related to dolphins and looks like dolphins. It is about 1.5 meters long and weighs about 50 kilograms. Like dolphins, river pigs often follow ships and pick up leftovers thrown into the water.

We have many brothers and sisters. Here are one or two.

Octopus is about 10 meter long and weighs 7 tons. It is the smallest baleen whale, with a population of about 200,000. Right whales are18m long and weigh about 20 tons. It is a sub-Antarctic species with a slender body, a black back and a gray abdomen.

Sperm whales, also known as true whales, are the largest toothed whales with a body length of 18 ~ 25m and a weight of 20 ~ 25t. Its body color is grayish yellow, and its head is particularly large and wedge-shaped, accounting for 1/3 of its body length. Its body is short, slow and clumsy, and it is easy to be killed. The existing inventory decreased from 850,000 to 430,000.

3. Hello, I'm a fat fin whale. My figure is very fat, and the fat is about 35-50 cm thick. But I don't know how thick it is, because I haven't measured it, and I can't measure it, because I have become a fish. I have to start with my ancestors: my ancestors lived on land like cattle and sheep. But later, due to the change of our living environment, our ancestors had to live in the shallow sea near the land. After a long time, we degenerated and our forelimbs and tails became fish. No wonder people call us whales.

Because we breathe with our lungs, we can't stay in the water for a long time. We have to breathe air on the water occasionally. When you exhale, the air in the hole above your head will take the water to the sky and form a column of water, which is very spectacular.

We are very big. Eight elephants haven't arrived yet. Although the whale trip is very heavy, our "boss" is very heavy, and a tongue can be as heavy as twenty big fat pigs. Awesome!

Our baleen whales are mainly eat small fish and shrimp. When swimming, we open our mouths, suck fish and shrimp into our mouths together with seawater, then discharge seawater from the channel and swallow the fish and shrimp. On the other hand, toothed whales eat big fish and marine animals, and sometimes they eat us. What a traitor.

We need to sleep, too. There are always several of us together. As long as there is any movement, we will spread out immediately.

I was viviparous, too. I grew up eating my mother's milk. When I was born, I weighed 6 or 7 kilograms. I can grow 50 kilograms a day and grow into a fat whale in two or three years. Our life span is very long. Generally, we can live for decades to a hundred years, sometimes for more than a hundred years, which is about the same size as a tortoise.

What's the matter? You know me.

4. Hello, everyone! Do you know me? I tell you, I am a famous whale, famous all over the world. Hey, my little friends, don't think we whales are fish. If you really think so, you are all wet. We whales belong to mammals. In addition, I want to reveal a little secret to those children who think I am a fish: it's time to supplement the biological "nutrition", hahahaha!

We whales are very big animals, and a small tongue alone is as heavy as a dozen big fat pigs! If we open our mouths, you humans will stand in our mouths and raise your hands without touching our maxilla. There are four people sitting around a table in our mouth, which is still very spacious! Well, look how big we are! Oh, by the way, tell you, don't say this to my ancestors. If they know, they will criticize me!

There are many members in our family, but everyone has their own living habits. Look, the first one to appear is our little brother-the baleen whale. He has no teeth, so his food is small fish and shrimp. The second one is my younger brother, whose name is needless to say. By the way, it's called toothed whale, and its teeth are extremely sharp, so we usually eat big fish and marine animals. That's our leader, the killer whale. He is very powerful. If he is angry, he will show disrespect!

We whales breathe with our lungs. When exhaling, it will float on the upper sea surface, and the exhaled air will form a water column. But the water column ejected by different kinds of whales is different: the water column of minke whales is vertical, thin and high; The water column of our toothed whale is inclined, thick and short. Look, we have a lot of knowledge about whales!

The way we sleep is also very fun. For the sake of safety, we always sleep in groups, with our heads inward and our tails outward in a circle.

We were viviparous, and we grew up drinking the mother whale's milk. Our growth rate is very fast, and we can grow 30-50 kilograms a day. And our life span is very long, we can live for decades-one hundred years.

After listening to my self-report, you will know something about our whales! If you come to see us in the future, I will certainly treat you warmly!

Respondent: Tang Shui-Senior Manager Level 6 12-4 20:49

Hello! My friend! I come from the sea, and I am a big man! I like swimming!

I am an animal that grows in the ocean. Although I look like a fish, I am not a fish, but a mammal. We can also be divided into two categories! One is a baleen whale, and the other is a toothed whale. I belong to baleen whales. I don't have teeth as sharp as toothed whales. When the air in my nostrils forms a water column, it is inclined, thick and short. I have no teeth. When the air from my nostrils forms a water column, it is straight, thin and long (high), just like a fountain in the park!

Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? I have a companion more than ten meters long, which is equivalent to the length of two classrooms in your school; Weight 160000 kg, tongue weight as 10 big fat pig. It is conceivable that its whole body is as heavy as many fat pigs. According to human, when my companion opened his mouth, he stood in his mouth and raised his hand, but he couldn't touch his upper jaw. If four people sit around the table and read aloud, it will be very spacious!

Although we can be divided into two categories, we are whales after all and have the same characteristics: in ancient times, my ancestors lived on land like the ancestors of cattle and sheep; But after a long time, our forelimbs and tails have become fins, living in the shallow sea near the land; Slowly, all the hind limbs degenerated, and the whole body became like a fish and adapted to the life of the ocean!

I grow very fast. I can grow 30 kg to 50 kg a day, and I can grow into a tall and powerful whale in two or three years! Look! I not only grow fast, but also live a long life! Generally can live to dozens of years old, even a hundred years old!

Do you know what I've been eating these years? Is it tofu, vegetables, or ... no, it's all wrong. I like eat small fish shrimp, which is my main food! I don't eat big fish and marine animals with sharp teeth like toothed whales.

When I sleep, I always get together and find a safer place, with my head inward and my tail outward. If I hear something, I will wake up immediately and spread out everywhere.

After listening to my self-introduction, do you have a more comprehensive understanding of me? Did the man who killed my brother blush, too? Think I'm cute, too

Respondent: Feng Bao Assistant Level 2 12-4 20:54.

Whale's self-report

Hello, I'm a fat fin whale. My figure is very fat, and the fat is about 35-50 cm thick. But I don't know how thick it is, because I haven't measured it, and I can't measure it, because I have become a fish. I have to start with my ancestors: my ancestors lived on land like cattle and sheep. But later, due to the change of our living environment, our ancestors had to live in the shallow sea near the land. After a long time, we degenerated and our forelimbs and tails became fish. No wonder people call us whales.

Because we breathe with our lungs, we can't stay in the water for a long time. We have to breathe air on the water occasionally. When you exhale, the air in the hole above your head will take the water to the sky and form a column of water, which is very spectacular.

We are very big. Eight elephants haven't arrived yet. Although the whale trip is very heavy, our "boss" is very heavy, and a tongue can be as heavy as twenty big fat pigs. Awesome!

Our baleen whales are mainly eat small fish and shrimp. When swimming, we open our mouths, suck fish and shrimp into our mouths together with seawater, then discharge seawater from the channel and swallow the fish and shrimp. On the other hand, toothed whales eat big fish and marine animals, and sometimes they eat us. What a traitor.

We need to sleep, too. There are always several of us together. As long as there is any movement, we will spread out immediately.

I was viviparous, too. I grew up eating my mother's milk. When I was born, I weighed 6 or 7 kilograms. I can grow 50 kilograms a day and grow into a fat whale in two or three years. Our life span is very long. Generally, we can live for decades to a hundred years, sometimes for more than a hundred years, which is about the same size as a tortoise.

What's the matter? You know me. Dissatisfied and hello to everyone! Do you know me? I tell you, I am a pig known all over the world. Hey, my little friends, don't think our pig is a fish. If you really think so, you are all wet. We are famous marine behemoths-whales. Although we look like fish, in fact, we belong to mammals like humans. Our whale family consists of two kinds of members, one is a baleen whale with no teeth in its mouth and the other is a toothed whale with sharp teeth in its mouth. I am a toothed whale and the overlord in the sea-killer whale.

Although I am small in the whale family, I am the bravest one. Fish, shrimp, even sharks and walruses in the sea will run away when they see me. My home is full of warmth. When my partner is injured, we will try our best to help, push it to the surface and accompany it to a safe place. My cousin, the blue whale, is the most burly animal in the whale family and the largest living animal in the world, bigger than some dinosaurs. It looks like a hill, more than 30 meters long and weighs 170 tons, which is 30 times heavier than the largest elephant on land!

We are full of treasures, and now we are on the verge of extinction due to overfishing. Alas! I really hope that human friends can treat us well. We like this beautiful and colorful world! Our brains are the largest and most complex of all animals on earth. We have a good memory and take care of each other in groups. For example, when we sleep, several partners always form a circle, with their heads inward and their tails outward to prevent other animals from sneaking up on us. Many people in my family are sea singers! For example, Moby Dick can make hundreds of sounds, and the changes of the sounds are amazing. It is a rare enjoyment to hear Moby Dick sing!

We are willing to live in harmony with our human friends, and we also hope that our human friends can give us space for free activities!

Although I look like a fish, I am not a fish, but a mammal. We whales are generally divided into two categories: one is baleen whales, which are very gentle and toothless; The other is the toothed whale, which has very sharp teeth. It only eats big fish and marine animals and never eats those small fish and shrimps. What about me? That cute baleen whale kid, eat small fish Shrimp.

My father is a killer whale, very fierce and has the reputation of "king of the sea"; Where's mom? She is recognized as a "beauty whale". She has a good voice and sings well. Every time we hold a singing contest, my mother will win the championship. Look! Mom is practicing songs there again!

Huh? There is a small fish fighting with a shrimp over there! I swam quickly, and the little fish was eaten by me. How about shrimp? Stuffed it into my stomach. Because I'm so hungry.

Oh! I forgot to tell you that when we breathe, we are different from other animals. Our nostrils grow on the top of our heads and float out of the sea as soon as we breathe. The spouted water is more beautiful than the fountain in the garden!

Another feature of our whales is that they sleep in a circle, with their heads inward and their tails outward. When they hear any sound, they will swim away immediately.

This is our family.

& Hello, everyone! I am a small whale, living in the ocean.

Almost all cetaceans: right whales, sperm whales, white whales, dolphins and other whales, have high economic value. Cutting the carcass of a razor whale can get 50 tons of whale meat, 30 tons of fat and 20 tons of bones.

The smallest cetacean is the river pig, which is closely related to dolphins and looks like dolphins. It is about 1.5 meters long and weighs about 50 kilograms. Like dolphins, river pigs often follow ships and pick up leftovers thrown into the water.

We have many brothers and sisters. Here are one or two.

Octopus is about 10 meter long and weighs 7 tons. It is the smallest baleen whale, with a population of about 200,000. Right whales are18m long and weigh about 20 tons. It is a sub-Antarctic species with a slender body, a black back and a gray abdomen.

Sperm whales, also known as true whales, are the largest toothed whales with a body length of 18 ~ 25m and a weight of 20 ~ 25t. Its body color is grayish yellow, and its head is particularly large and wedge-shaped, accounting for 1/3 of its body length. Its body is short, slow and clumsy, and it is easy to be killed. The existing inventory decreased from 850,000 to 430,000.

3. Hello, I'm a fat fin whale. My figure is very fat, and the fat is about 35-50 cm thick. But I don't know how thick it is, because I haven't measured it, and I can't measure it, because I have become a fish. I have to start with my ancestors: my ancestors lived on land like cattle and sheep. But later, due to the change of our living environment, our ancestors had to live in the shallow sea near the land. After a long time, we degenerated and our forelimbs and tails became fish. No wonder people call us whales.

Because we breathe with our lungs, we can't stay in the water for a long time. We have to breathe air on the water occasionally. When you exhale, the air in the hole above your head will take the water to the sky and form a column of water, which is very spectacular.

We are very big. Eight elephants haven't arrived yet. Although the whale trip is very heavy, our "boss" is very heavy, and a tongue can be as heavy as twenty big fat pigs. Awesome!

Our baleen whales are mainly eat small fish and shrimp. When swimming, we open our mouths, suck fish and shrimp into our mouths together with seawater, then discharge seawater from the channel and swallow the fish and shrimp. On the other hand, toothed whales eat big fish and marine animals, and sometimes they eat us. What a traitor.

We need to sleep, too. There are always several of us together. As long as there is any movement, we will spread out immediately.

I was viviparous, too. I grew up eating my mother's milk. When I was born, I weighed 6 or 7 kilograms. I can grow 50 kilograms a day and grow into a fat whale in two or three years. Our life span is very long. Generally, we can live for decades to a hundred years, sometimes for more than a hundred years, which is about the same size as a tortoise.

What's the matter? You know me.

4. Hello, everyone! Do you know me? I tell you, I am a famous whale, famous all over the world. Hey, my little friends, don't think we whales are fish. If you really think so, you are all wet. We whales belong to mammals. In addition, I want to reveal a little secret to those children who think I am a fish: it's time to supplement the biological "nutrition", hahahaha!

We whales are very big animals, and a small tongue alone is as heavy as a dozen big fat pigs! If we open our mouths, you humans will stand in our mouths and raise your hands without touching our maxilla. There are four people sitting around a table in our mouth, which is still very spacious! Well, look how big we are! Oh, by the way, tell you, don't say this to my ancestors. If they know, they will criticize me!

There are many members in our family, but everyone has their own living habits. Look, the first one to appear is our little brother-the baleen whale. He has no teeth, so his food is small fish and shrimp. The second one is my younger brother, whose name is needless to say. By the way, it's called toothed whale, and its teeth are extremely sharp, so we usually eat big fish and marine animals. That's our leader, the killer whale. He is very powerful. If he is angry, he will show disrespect!

We whales breathe with our lungs. When exhaling, it will float on the upper sea surface, and the exhaled air will form a water column. But the water column ejected by different kinds of whales is different: the water column of minke whales is vertical, thin and high; The water column of our toothed whale is inclined, thick and short. Look, we have a lot of knowledge about whales!

The way we sleep is also very fun. For the sake of safety, we always sleep in groups, with our heads inward and our tails outward in a circle.

We were viviparous, and we grew up drinking the mother whale's milk. Our growth rate is very fast, and we can grow 30-50 kilograms a day. And our life span is very long, we can live for decades-one hundred years.

After listening to my self-report, you will know something about our whales! If you come to see us in the future, I will certainly treat you warmly!

Respondent: Tang Shui-Senior Manager Level 6 12-4 20:49

Hello! My friend! I come from the sea, and I am a big man! I like swimming!

I am an animal that grows in the ocean. Although I look like a fish, I am not a fish, but a mammal. We can also be divided into two categories! One is a baleen whale, and the other is a toothed whale. I belong to baleen whales. I don't have teeth as sharp as toothed whales. When the air in my nostrils forms a water column, it is inclined, thick and short. I have no teeth. When the air from my nostrils forms a water column, it is straight, thin and long (high), just like a fountain in the park!

Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what? I have a companion more than ten meters long, which is equivalent to the length of two classrooms in your school; Weight 160000 kg, tongue weight as 10 big fat pig. It is conceivable that its whole body is as heavy as many fat pigs. According to human, when my companion opened his mouth, he stood in his mouth and raised his hand, but he couldn't touch his upper jaw. If four people sit around the table and read aloud, it will be very spacious!

Although we can be divided into two categories, we are whales after all and have the same characteristics: in ancient times, my ancestors lived on land like the ancestors of cattle and sheep; But after a long time, our forelimbs and tails have become fins, living in the shallow sea near the land; Slowly, all the hind limbs degenerated, and the whole body became like a fish and adapted to the life of the ocean!

I grow very fast. I can grow 30 kg to 50 kg a day, and I can grow into a tall and powerful whale in two or three years! Look! I not only grow fast, but also live a long life! Generally can live to dozens of years old, even a hundred years old!

Do you know what I've been eating these years? Is it tofu, vegetables, or ... no, it's all wrong. I like eat small fish shrimp, which is my main food! I don't eat big fish and marine animals with sharp teeth like toothed whales.

When I sleep, I always get together and find a safer place, with my head inward and my tail outward. If I hear something, I will wake up immediately and spread out everywhere.

After listening to my self-introduction, do you have a more comprehensive understanding of me? Did the man who killed my brother blush, too? Think I'm cute, too

Respondent: Feng Bao Assistant Level 2 12-4 20:54.

Whale's self-report

Hello, I'm a fat fin whale. My figure is very fat, and the fat is about 35-50 cm thick. But I don't know how thick it is, because I haven't measured it, and I can't measure it, because I have become a fish. I have to start with my ancestors: my ancestors lived on land like cattle and sheep. But later, due to the change of our living environment, our ancestors had to live in the shallow sea near the land. After a long time, we degenerated and our forelimbs and tails became fish. No wonder people call us whales.

Because we breathe with our lungs, we can't stay in the water for a long time. We have to breathe air on the water occasionally. When you exhale, the air in the hole above your head will take the water to the sky and form a column of water, which is very spectacular.

We are very big. Eight elephants haven't arrived yet. Although the whale trip is very heavy, our "boss" is very heavy, and a tongue can be as heavy as twenty big fat pigs. Awesome!

Our baleen whales are mainly eat small fish and shrimp. When swimming, we open our mouths, suck fish and shrimp into our mouths together with seawater, then discharge seawater from the channel and swallow the fish and shrimp. On the other hand, toothed whales eat big fish and marine animals, and sometimes they eat us. What a traitor.

We need to sleep, too. There are always several of us together. As long as there is any movement, we will spread out immediately.

I was viviparous, too. I grew up eating my mother's milk. When I was born, I weighed 6 or 7 kilograms. I can grow 50 kilograms a day and grow into a fat whale in two or three years. Our life span is very long. Generally, we can live for decades to a hundred years, sometimes for more than a hundred years, which is about the same size as a tortoise.

What's the matter? You know me. Dissatisfied and hello to everyone! Do you know me? Tell you, I am a famous pig and fish all over the world. Hey, my little friends, don't think our whale is a fish. If you really think so, you are all wet. We pigs belong to mammals. In addition, I want to reveal a little secret to those children who think I am a fish: it's time to supplement the biological "nutrition", hahahaha!

We whales are very big animals, and a small tongue alone is as heavy as a dozen big fat pigs! If we open our mouths and you humans stand in our mouths, we pigs belong to mammals. In addition, I want to reveal a little secret to those children who think I am a fish: it's time to supplement the biological "nutrition", hahahaha!

We whales are very big animals, and a small tongue alone is as heavy as a dozen big fat pigs! If we open our mouths, you humans will stand in our mouths.