How can a man lie to his wife about every little thing?

How can a man lie to his wife about every little thing?

Because he lies all the time, he can’t help but make up a lie when talking about everything. I don’t want to tell the truth. What happened when a man bought a warm baby for my wife?

Return the money to him. What happened when a man suddenly said he wanted to lose weight

1 It’s for health

The second is to attract the opposite sex. What’s going on when a man beats and scolds his wife all day long? Please ask the masters

The man has mental problems, or he treats the woman as his wife. A gas bucket, not a wife! Why was my wife so excited when she was on the phone with a man?

No, you don’t have to think too much about the scoring situation. Maybe they are better friends. You can also talk to your wife. It is better to open up many things and talk about them~

What happened when I dreamed that a man wanted to date me

Dreaming about having sex with a man, you will lose your temper with your lover on such an important day! If you are not sure to control yourself, tell him from the beginning, are you in a bad mood? Emotionally, you pay more attention to your own feelings, and the other person often feels hurt or underestimated by you! Why can't men get a wife?

I would rather not marry than be cheated. Many rich men and celebrities have not married. Women are too hypocritical and fake! What's going on when a man chats with his wife on his mobile phone and looks at his female colleague while talking

1. I went to save money at noon, and while I was waiting in line, a beautiful woman asked me from behind: "Save money." Really?" "Yeah!" "I just want to withdraw money. You have to save it anyway, why not give it to me so we don't have to wait in line." I thought about it and thought it made sense, so I gave her the money.

2. When I got on the bus in the afternoon, I took out my bus card and put it into the coin slot.

3. One day I found that it was missing. I rummaged through my bag and every corner of the house, but to no avail. Then he fell to the ground depressedly, took it out of his pocket, and sent it to everyone: I lost it

4. My neighbor forgot to bring his key, so he turned it over from my balcony, found the key in the house, and turned it back again. , and then open your door. What’s even more amazing is that I stayed on the balcony to attend to her from beginning to end and didn’t feel anything was wrong. Alas, our heads must have been squeezed through the same crack in the door.

5. I still remember when I confessed my love to a girl for the first time, I was so nervous, so I said, "Well, um, XX, let me be your girlfriend"

6. At dinner at work a few days ago, a young colleague ordered a large bottle of Sprite and poured it around for everyone. When it was his turn, the bottle was empty. So the colleague shook the Sprite bottle and said to the waiter: "Do you still have this?" The waiter ran over, took the bottle, inspected it carefully, and said sincerely: "No more."< /p>

7. I had dinner with two enthusiastic female colleagues (voluptuous type), and they introduced the items to me.

I want to say: You two matchmakers are so enthusiastic

The result is: You two fat ladies...

8. Brother A few play World of Warcraft. Officer Cha was so angry that he grabbed the mouse, dragged the desktop shortcut of World of Warcraft into the recycle bin, emptied it, and said: Let you play again!

9. Dad hit my mom today. , my mother was busy at the time, so I took the call.

Me: Hello

Dad: Oh, where is your dad?

Me: Ah?

Dad: What is your dad doing? What?

Me: Uh. . . What's the fight?

Dad: Oh, ask him to get back to me after the fight. < /p>

11. I fell in love with a pair of gloves. The boss wanted 35 yuan. I said 30 yuan and I wanted it. I got a 50-yuan one quickly.

12. A question requires connecting the following four sentences with related words:

1. Sister Zhang Haidi is paralyzed;

2. Sister Zhang Haidi studies tenaciously ;

3. Sister Zhang Haidi has learned many foreign languages;

4. Sister Zhang Haidi has learned acupuncture.

The correct answer should be: "Although sister Zhang Haidi was paralyzed, she studied tenaciously and not only learned many foreign languages, but also learned acupuncture.

As a result, one child wrote: Although sister Zhang Haidi tenaciously learned acupuncture and many foreign languages, she was still paralyzed

Another more fierce child wrote: Sister Zhang Haidi not only learned foreign languages, but also learned acupuncture, she is so. I studied tenaciously and finally became paralyzed!

13. While cooking at noon, my mother gave me a pot of carrots: "Go and cut the carrots into cubes!"

14. My last name Zhu, the manager of the management unit. Once someone hit me: "Chief Chicken, are you in the pig?" At that time, he scolded the guy. 15. A leader led everyone to drink and raised his glass and said loudly. : "Let us die together!"

Everyone (...)

16. I remember once I went to a fruit called Elizabeth, and I opened my mouth and said: Boss, how much does Shakespeare cost? ?The boss was stunned on the spot

17. Rice noodle shop

Someone: Boss, please give me two ounces of green onions but not rice noodles.

Boss (...)

A certain person (while looking for a seat, looked back and added): Don’t put onions!

Boss (with tears streaming down his face): Do you want to eat rice noodles or onions?

18. Once I went to a vegetable market to prepare for a dinner party. A Korean friend ordered lettuce for 2.4 yuan. He gave all the change he had to the hawker, and he was still short of a dime, so he said to the hawker--

"I gave you all my hair, so there is no more hair. "

The hawker was speechless for a long time, and then replied--

"I don't want your hair anymore." ”

19. Once while eating and chatting in the canteen, I suddenly found that I had dropped a piece of rice outside. I secretly felt that I was sorry for the farmer uncle by wasting food, so I picked it up and ate it. But later I found that the rice It doesn’t seem to be mine...

20. Xiaoqiang gave a speech, and the people below were all ears!

Xiaoqiang said: "I hate two kinds of people the most! One is racial discrimination , the second is black, the third is illiterate!"

The people below suddenly sweated profusely...

21. After swimming yesterday, I opened the trunk directly and lost the key. Go in and close the trunk...

22. Went to a good friend's house. During the chat, her father came back and opened his mouth to call "aunt". In embarrassment, her mother appeared again and opened her mouth to call "uncle". ...and then infinitely doubted my IQ

23. Once when I went to a hot dry noodle restaurant, there was a couple in front of me. The boss asked them if they wanted to put coriander. The man said no, and the woman said no.

I was thinking "cilantro, why do men want coriander and women don't want coriander..."

I was lost in thought when the boss asked me, what to eat? I didn't hesitate. He answered loudly: "Cilantro!!!"

24. When I was in high school, I got up very early to go to school. My mother would make breakfast for me and I would put it in my schoolbag and take it to school to eat, which was usually steamed buns and steamed buns. No breakfast on Sundays. My mother made porridge in class, and I didn’t know where my muscles were. I picked up the porridge and threw it into my schoolbag...

25. One day, there were many people talking about roast duck, so she Without thinking, he said: "When it's time to get off work, there are so many people roasting ducks. I saw roast ducks queuing up in front of the window."

26. Call the finance department and ask for a caller. Zhou Chunmei came out.

I was excited: =_=||| . Zhou Chunmei: Then who am I.

27. Once when I was having breakfast at school, a classmate in front of me found that the machine did not respond. I tried swiping the card again but still nothing. I was very depressed and said that the machine was broken. I asked me to try it and swiped the card. There was really no response! He changed it again, but it was still the same, and he was very angry! After receiving the card, he was about to put it in his bag, and found that the card in his hand was a bank card. I laughed wildly! He pointed at me and laughed even harder. It turned out that I Get the ID card!

28. When I was in college, one year when the semester started, the fifth person in the dormitory called the dormitory at the train station to see if anyone was there. The fourth person in the dormitory picked up the call.

This is Jiaogan (the school next door)

"Ah, I'm sorry, I dialed the wrong number"

After a while, Lao Wu looked at the dialed code and thought it was correct, so he dialed again. Come back

"You are the fourth child, you are fooling me, is there anyone in the dormitory?"

"No"

"Oh, then I will stay with my friend tonight Home”

“Okay, see you tomorrow”

29. In the morning, a plastic bag on the left hand is full of snacks, and a plastic bag on the right is full of garbage. In the morning, open the trash can and "Bang" "I threw a bag away. Then I arrived with another Shi Shiran. When I was hungry and wanted to eat snacks at noon, I opened the cabinet and found a bag of garbage inside.

30. Take the subway and enter the gate. I was swiping wildly on the gate, and I kept telling the people behind me that the swipe was broken. I rode a 28-inch men's bicycle to send my one-year-old sister to kindergarten. When she arrived at the kindergarten, she used her mantis hind legs very gracefully. She felt that she had bumped into something and she didn't care as she pushed the bicycle. I walked forward, but after walking a few steps, someone shouted "Comrade, this comrade..." My mother turned around and saw that my little sister, who was more than one year old, remained sitting and fell to the ground in shock. Twenty years later, For several years, my sister refused to sit on my mother's bicycle, and I hated her for more than 20 years...

32. She likes to eat all the melon seeds, guess what. After eating, I dumped the melon seed kernels on the plate into the trash can and looked at the other melon seed shells in a daze.

33. The monitor was on standby, so I tried to shake the mouse, but it was still on standby, so I shook it hard. After walking for a long time, I realized that what I was shaking was...

34. When I went to the store, my car was unlocked. When I got out, I locked the car and was ready to leave.

35. When I was a child, I liked to bite the tip of the pen. One day, I felt something was wrong when I bit it. It was very salty, and then I found that I had sucked a mouthful of ink.

36. Once after peeling an apple, a long I was very proud that the batch was not broken. I threw the apple into the trash can and put the skin into my mouth!

37. When I was making scrambled eggs and tomatoes, I knocked the hard-boiled egg against the edge of the bowl. It was not bad for a long time, and I even told my wife that the eggs were broken.

38. The last time I had a cold, the nurse asked me to take off my pants, but I almost took them off~

39. I fainted once. , I wanted to go to the toilet, and unknowingly walked to the pure water machine. I looked at half a bucket of water, but I didn’t even react. I opened my crotch zipper with a sound... Suddenly something mysterious happened. He reacted suddenly, zipped up his zipper again, and returned to his seat as if nothing had happened. Fortunately, after thinking about it, he was probably too busy with work at that time. . .

40. During a picnic, he took out the last cigarette in the cigarette case and lit it, threw the zippo directly into the fire, put the cigarette case back into the bag, and continued to grill the meat, and then a bunch of sparks exploded and burned him 2 His clothes also ruined 2 bowls of dumplings

41. Use it as a lighter to light cigarettes and use it as a TV remote control.

42. There was a buzz while cooking. After taking it, I put it directly into the vegetable basin. It ended up in the pot with the vegetables. Then I stared at the pot for a long time before I hurriedly took it out. Fortunately, I was able to take it out at that time. What's fried is lettuce...if it's Mapo Tofu...it's over...

43. When I was in college, I went home with my roommate. After entering the door, we changed clothes together. Suddenly we saw a little wolf, and she So she went to the pia, and then came to scare me with Xiaoqiang's body. I was very afraid of insects, so I opened the door and ran out when I was nervous. She continued to chase me excitedly. . .

We reached the elevator entrance, and then "awoke" and realized that I was only wearing underwear, she. . . . . Wearing only shorts. . . . Fortunately there was no one in the corridor. . . .

44. Once I went to the bathroom to wash my hands before eating. When I saw the mirror, my brain suddenly short-circuited. I skillfully took a cup of toothbrush, squeezed the facial cleanser onto the toothbrush, hummed a tune and brushed my teeth. I wonder why the toothpaste tastes wrong today.

45. On the first day of work, someone was looking for the manager (female). I gave it to the manager and said, "Mom, someone is looking for you. Pick up."

46. Once in a computer class, while sending a message to my boyfriend, I bravely shouted loudly to the teacher: "Honey! My computer is not connected!" The noisy classroom fell silent instantly. After 5 seconds, everyone burst into laughter. The teacher is an old man in his 50s.

47. My sister has a card and a card. One day, she changed her card to a new one. A colleague asked her what the new code was. She said she had forgotten it, so she used the new card to dial hers. While dialing, she continued chatting with her colleagues. After the call rang, she picked it up and asked: "Hello?...Hello?...You talk, if you don't talk I will die!"

All the colleagues present were petrified.

After that, she pressed the end call button and said, "You're crazy. You called me and didn't say anything."

48. One day, a classmate was walking around Zhongguancun. A hawker approached and asked, "Do you want a hard drive? It's cheap." The classmate took it over to look at it and said, "How hard is it?"

49. I remember when I was still in the fifth grade of primary school, the class teacher asked the first classmate in a group: "What ethnic group are you?" The classmate said: "Yi" and then asked the second classmate: "What about you?" Answer: "Ethnicity 2"< /p>

50. Customer A: Boss, is the iced soy milk hot?...

51. A friend went shopping for home appliances and saw a household scale on the ground. This friend commented When I saw the scale, I wanted to try it, so I immediately stepped on it, and it turned out that it was an induction cooker.

52. The first time I used a bus IC card, I got on the bus. Finally, I took the initiative to show my card to the driver and walked straight to my seat. Unexpectedly, the driver said: "Read the card." I looked at the IC card and read carefully: "Hefei Bus IC Card~~", and the driver said: "There. "Reading while reading", I walked to where the driver pointed and read with all my strength: "Hefei Bus IC Card..."

53. The fourth guy in the dormitory got out of bed and looked for slippers for a long time. There were no slippers. I asked everyone. : Why are my slippers gone?

54. While queuing up in the cafeteria, I heard a boy next to me say: "Here comes a bowl of 'bullet cauliflower' soup!" (seaweed and egg drop soup) Haha, laugh. I have to tell her a joke. What would happen if a man always calculated where his wife’s money went?

When living at home, two people should be clear about it when they are together. If it’s a woman, she doesn’t know where the man spends his money, why doesn’t she ask? What’s wrong with a man who has been married for 20 years and can’t be hard on his wife now?

Or you have something else in mind? Woman, either you are sick or your wife is really pitiful! You should be careful that your wife will be extremely disappointed in you as time goes by.