Tell a joke.

One: Pupils understand the word "milk"

The teacher explained to the children that "milk" means "small". For example, "suckling pig" is a "little pig" and "squab" is a "little pigeon".

Teacher: Xiao Ming, please make a sentence with the word "milk".

Xiaoming: My family's economic conditions are not very good. I can only stand 40 square meters of breasts.

Teacher: (I'm dizzy) ... this won't work. Change it.

Xiaoming: I jump over a cleavage in front of my house every day when I go to school.

Teacher: ... no, change to another one.

Xiaoming: I want to explode my nipples.

The teacher really fainted. . . . . .

Secondly, another classic: beating bears.

Once upon a time, there was a young man in the mountains. His family is so poor that they can't even eat. He heard that there is a bear hunter in the mountainous area who can hunt several bears a year. He decided to learn to practice hunting bears. When he arrived at the hunter's house, the hunter was a little old man. He said that the unique skill of beating bears would not be circulated, so he told the young man to go back. The young man begged and said that there was really no food at home. If you don't help me, my family will starve. When the old hunter saw it, the young man was honest. "All right, take your apprentice." That's how young people learn from their teachers.

How to hit a bear? The old hunter began to speak. "In fact, beating a bear is very simple. In winter, you go to the mountains. When you find a big cave in the mountains, you shout: Woo ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Woo ~ ~ ~ Woo ~ ~ ~ and you will hear Woo ~ ~ ~ ~ Woo ~ ~ ~ ~, you pick up your gun and hit it, and the bear will fall down. You go in and drag the bear out. The young man was very happy and asked, "Why? The old hunter said, "In winter, bears hibernate in caves. When you shout outside, the bear thinks it is a companion outside. When he is happy, he stands up in the hole. You can kill him when you shoot. "Hearing this, the young man makes sense! In a blink of an eye, winter has arrived, and young people are going to hunt bears. On the day of parting from the old hunter, he said to the old hunter, "Master, I'm going into the mountain, and I'm sure I'll hit a big bear." I will respect you when I come back. The old hunter was very happy and said, "well, you will succeed." Let's go! " "In this way, the young man went into the mountains alone.

Spring suddenly came, and the young man never returned to the old hunter's house. The old hunter thought, this boy is superficial and secretive. He hit the bear and ran away. It's really nothing It happened that one day, the old hunter saw the young man in the market. He was limping with a cane, his arm was broken and he was bandaged. When the old hunter saw him, he got angry: "You young man, you forgot me when you hit the bear?" What are you? ! "Unexpectedly, the young man was even more angry:" You bad old man, what did you teach me to break the law? "Look, I'm miserable." The old hunter looked at it and felt puzzled. He asked, "What happened to the bear-beating method I taught you? Tell me how you beat the bear. " The young man began to speak: "In winter, shall I take you into the mountains?" Found a big cave, so I called out to it, "Woo ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Woo ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~", I heard it calling: "Woo ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ "You shoot. "The young man said with a full face of regret," Shit, a train left from inside before I shot. . . . "

Third, Wang Xiaoming.

What is Xiaoming's surname? There are different opinions. Generally speaking, his surname is Wang and his first name is Wang.

His family lives in the countryside by the river with pleasant scenery. His toilet is a toilet built by the river. When the whole family is finished, the excrement can be washed away naturally.

One day,

Xiaoming went to school, and the teacher asked Xiaoming in class, "Xiaoming, who burned Epang Palace?" 」

Xiao Ming: "old ... teacher, no ... I didn't burn it." Don't scold me.

The teacher was very angry and called Xiaoming's father immediately after class.

Teacher: "Miss Wang, look at your Xiaoming. He doesn't even know who burned Epang Palace! And said he didn't burn it

Father: "I'm sorry, teacher, our Xiaoming is stupid, but he is honest." He said it didn't burn, so it didn't burn. 」

The teacher didn't want to communicate with Xiaoming's father any more, so he asked his mother to answer the phone.

After listening to the teacher's statement, my mother said, "teacher, I'm really sorry." I will scold Xiao Ming! " ! 」

Next, I vaguely heard the voice of scolding and hitting the child.

After a while,

Xiao Ming's mother called back and said, "teacher, I'm sorry to have kept you waiting so long." Xiaoming admitted burning Epang Palace. The child, don't play can't lose weapons ... "

※ ※ ※ ※

Xiaoming was in a bad mood because he admitted that he was scolded by his parents after burning Epang Palace.

When he went to the toilet, the more he thought about it, the more angry he became. He kicked the toilet and it fell into the river.

Xiao Ming got a fright. Seeing no one around, he went to school at once.

That day the teacher happened to tell the story of cutting down a cherry tree in Washington, which made Xiao Ming decide to be an honest boy.

After returning home, he admitted to his father that he kicked down the toilet, thinking that he would be praised by his father, but his father "pa!" Bang! "Give him two slap in the face.

Xiao Ming choked up and said to his father, "His father forgave him after telling the truth in Washington. Why are you not like Washington's father? " .

Father said earnestly to Xiaoming, "Son ... that's because his father is not in the tree in Washington." 」

※ ※ ※ ※

One day, Xiaoming was caught by his neighbor when he climbed the neighbor's fruit tree and stole the fruit.

Neighbor: "You bad boy, you began to be a thief at a young age. When you grow up, come down and take me to see your father!" " 」

So,

Xiao Ming shouted to another tree, "Dad! Someone is looking for you. 」

※ ※ ※ ※

Xiao Ming and his parents went to Muka Zoo to play, and finally stopped in front of the monkey cage and found that all the monkeys were gone.

Xiaoming's mother asked the administrator curiously, "Where did all the monkeys go today?" 」

"They went back to the cave, madam." The manager said, "It's mating season. 」

Xiaoming's mother asked again, "If I throw some peanuts in, will they come out?" ? 」

"I don't know this! This lady. 」

The administrator scratched his head and said with a smile, "If it were you, would you come out?" ? 」

※ ※ ※ ※

After coming out of the zoo, Xiaoming felt hungry and suddenly wanted to eat scallion cake.

As a result, I didn't see anyone selling it for a long time, so I had to go to Pizza Hut to eat onion pie-pizza.

At the counter of Pizza Hut, the waiter is asking Xiaoming, "Kid, are you going to cut your pizza into four or eight pieces?" ]

Xiao Ming thought for a moment,

Answer: "Four tablets will do. How can I finish eight tablets? " ? 」

※ ※ ※ ※

After several oolong incidents, Xiao Ming wondered if his IQ was a little low. He ran to ask his father, "Dad, am I stupid?" 」

Dad: "Son, you are not stupid at all! 」

Xiao Ming: "However, others say I am stupid! 」

Dad: "That's because they don't know you. 」

Xiao Ming: "But I feel so stupid! 」

Dad: "You are not stupid at all! How many times do I have to say it, you idiot! 」

※ ※ ※ ※

Xiaoming has always had little confidence in his IQ.

One day, a doctor came to Xiaoming's school and found a clever student who volunteered for an interview.

The doctor asked Xiaoming the first question: "Is the earth round? 」

Xiao Ming: "Yes! 」

Doctor: "How do you know? 」

Xiao Ming: "I look at the globe! 」

"Hmm ..." I don't know if this answer is right or wrong.

The doctor asked Xiaoming the second question: "How big is the universe?

Xiao Ming: "You can be as old as you say! 」

"..." The doctor looked defeated and lost in thought.

Xiao Ming passed two levels and gradually became confident: "Doctor, please ask one more question ..."

"Why do people live?" The doctor raised a question of religious philosophy.

Xiao Ming: "Because people are not dead yet! 」

As a result, the doctor hit the wall on the spot, and Xiao Ming became a genius who used to be a doctor. The whole school lifted Xiao Ming and celebrated around the playground!

※ ※ ※ ※

When Hsiao Ming-Ming graduated, she took part in a graduation trip organized by the school. During the trip, they checked into a hotel.

As there were only a few rooms left, we had to squeeze in.

The bad news is that Xiaoming heard from the tour guide that these rooms are haunted.

In the middle of the night, Xiao Ming was in a hurry and didn't dare to go to the toilet. Finally, he had to open the toilet door with trepidation.

Suddenly there was a cold wind, which scared Xiao Ming to pee for a while and then rushed back into the quilt.

The next day, Xiao Ming quickly told the tour guide, "I tell you, I met a ghost when I went to the toilet yesterday ..."

I haven't finished yet,

The tour guide went on to say, "Oh dear! Speaking of going to the toilet, I didn't know that wicked ghost peed in the refrigerator yesterday ... "