Stick to funny jokes.

We live in the modern new media world. We often smile at a witticism and are surprised at a witticism. Every time a social hotspot breaks out, we all expect a subtle paragraph to comment. Next, I carefully prepared "Insist on Funny Jokes" for you. Welcome to watch!

Stick to funny jokes (hot articles) 1. Two cars on the road unfortunately rear-ended, and the young man in front asked the young man in the back: Dude, I'm sorry, is your last name medicine? No? Then your father's surname is Li, not Li. ? Oh, are there any civil servants in your family? No? What about immediate family? No? Oh, can you play the piano? No? In that case? Why don't you pay me back? This is a new car I just bought.

In other words, I was hungry last night, wanted to make instant noodles, and got angry again. After thinking for a long time, I finally came up with a clever way to kill two birds with one stone: pour Banlangen into instant noodles.

3. Tang Sanzang: Bajie, run two steps for the teacher. Pig Bajie: Master, why do you suddenly want to watch your apprentice run? Tang Sanzang: Hey! Shame! I have been a teacher in a temple since I was a child. I have never eaten pork or seen a pig run.

4. let ya not join the party, let ya not realize, the whole death is good! The public opinion analyst of People's Daily spent two hours restoring the ipad homepage on the first floor of ifc Apple Store in Hong Kong to People's Daily.

Mother suggested that her daughter marry a very old rich man, but her daughter objected. No way! No way! Just can't! He's too old! ? Mom:? What does it matter if you are old? You're not cooking. ?

6. During recess in junior high school, my classmates and I lay on the guardrail next to the corridor. At that time, I asked him unkindly, which teacher do you think is good-looking in junior high school now? After asking, I regretted it. When I turned around, the Chinese teacher was behind me. The goods haven't been noticed yet. Looking at the distance, his eyes were horribly mean. He said, "I like Chinese teachers best ..." The Chinese teacher smiled and tried to touch his head. He spoke again: "I have missed Cao for a long time."

7. q:? Girl, what do you want from your ideal partner? The girl replied:? Wish people a long time. ? But, girl, it's too late to be complete ?

8. Today, I went to the Civil Affairs Bureau with my girlfriend to get a marriage certificate. The staff told me earnestly: Live a good life and quit smoking in the future. ? I don't understand:? We have no plans to have children in the near future. ? The staff said:? This is the registration room, no smoking! ?

9. At this time, Bai Du is traveling, and only Diao Si is practicing silently.

10. There are three possibilities for girls to suffer from insomnia: 1. Miss their boyfriends; 2. I miss the boy I secretly love; Eat too much

Stick to funny jokes (classic) 1. I asked my daughter: Did you call my father? Will you go home for dinner tonight? She said:? I called my father and an aunt answered. ? My heart sank and I was unhappy. Daughter continues:? Aunt said:? The number you dialed is busy, please redial later. ?

Once, I asked my friend where she came from, and she said? Guess ~ I have to give a hint. She said: Do we start with H? I said:? So what? Hunan is wrong? Hubei is wrong? This? Is it Henan and Hebei? You don't have the same accent. Hey, hey, you can't guess? She grinned with a simple and honest smile. To tell you the truth, this is Hu Jian! ?

One day, I was talking with a girl in the lab about interesting places in the school. The girl said:? I like the school wetland very much. ? The next day, the girl received a note that read:? Sister, actually I like you for a long time. ? Signature:? Your younger brother. ?

Six male students in Tongji were naked in the same room and were swept away by the police! During the survey practice in Lin 'an, School of Civil Engineering, Tongji University, six boys lived in one or two rooms of the hotel, which was not regarded as gathering people for fornication and was punished by the police.

5.？ Q: It only takes two months for the winner of the 24 million grand prize in Harbin to win another 5 million. A: It is difficult to recruit liars when there are many people. (@ Pufei)

6. I just came out of Jianwai soho basement and found that I forgot my wallet and couldn't pay the parking fee, so I was trapped in the basement exit. In the back car, a kind girl paid me a parking fee of 18 and gave me 32 yuan, saying that if you go into a basement again, you may not see me again. I'm so touched! ~ ~ This is not the climax. Later, I told the girl that I needed a phone call to pay back the money. The girl said: if you give all the money, you don't have to worry about others. (@ 京京京京京)

7. On the first day of kindergarten when my son was 3 years old, there was a teacher in the class whose surname was Bi. The son said, Mr. Bi, are you smelly B? Teacher Bi: ...

8. A group of fireflies are flying in the air, and one of them doesn't shine. The other asked him curiously, why don't you shine? Firefly replied:? Hey, I forgot to pay the electricity bill last month! ?

9. An eight-year-old son asked her husband: What is Zhang Fei's mother's surname? Husband: I don't know. Son: Stupid, surnamed Wu, who knows nothing about much ado about nothing. The son asked again: What is Zhang Fei's father's surname? Husband thought for a long time and patted his forehead: name trouble, trouble! The son laughed wildly: silly! Last name is Zhang! You don't have your father's last name

10. There is an old man in the neighbor's house. He is over eighty this year. He recently suffered from Alzheimer's disease, but his children are still very filial. After lunch yesterday, the old man pointed to his daughter-in-law who was washing dishes and whispered to his son:? Hey, this big sister is very kind to me. She helps me cook every day. ?

Stick to funny jokes (selected articles) 1. What do Tang Priest and his disciples hate most? A: Winter and summer vacations. Because every winter and summer vacation, they are forced to climb mountains and mountains to learn from the scriptures again.

I said to my brother who just graduated from high school. There are several women in the university. You often see them, and they will get to know you. Occasionally meet to say a few words and smile. When my brother heard this, his heart began to ripple. I went on to say:? They are, dormitory janitors, corridor cleaners, canteen vendors, toilet card vendors, newsstand vendors, and computer room administrators? .

3. On the way to learn from the scriptures? The Monkey King: Why is it so hot? The Monkey King: It's like a burning mountain! The Monkey King: How did you climb the Flame Mountain again? Tang Priest: Bullshit! That's Chongqing!

4. Why do you all learn to drive? ! How can I cross the road in the future! ! So scared! ! !

5. When I was a freshman, I went to a math class and a buddy fell asleep. I was found halfway by the math teacher in senior three. The teacher came up to him and asked, classmate, what's wrong with you? The buddy immediately pretended to be sick and said, teacher, I'm a little dizzy. The teacher said with a smile. Won't the high numbers in English books be dizzy?

6. A woman saw a wooden bottle with many bamboo sticks in front of a street vendor. The woman thought that she had bad luck recently and asked the stall owner: How much is fortune telling? The stall owner showed reluctance and said to the woman, I sell chopsticks. ?

7. In the Internet cafe, there is a man in his thirties and forties sitting next to him. I glanced at his screen while playing. It seems to be chatting on QQ. Another woman asked him to turn on the video, and this guy actually pointed the camera at me, and then he hurried to the bathroom. Out of humanitarianism, I dug my nose into the camera for a minute, and then the woman silently turned off the video. I won't tell you. When the man came back, he sent dozens of rolling windows, and the woman didn't care about him at all.

8. What is the geographical topic of the most blockhouse in history? Learn geography well in order to better _ _ _ _? A, be a big official; b, make a lot of money; c, make parents happy; d, live. ? This is a multiple choice question. What are the requirements of the topic? Only one is the right choice? .

9. An entrepreneur shows off to the beautiful women around him how to distinguish the truly successful people from several aspects: 1, without a business card; 2. Don't drive by yourself; 3, clothes have no logo4. There is no community name, only the house number; 5. Take a nap every day; 6, often in the suburbs; 7. Is there any cash in the bag? A nearby farmer interrupted excitedly: "Our village is full of such people!"