Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - I beg you for the lines of "The Misunderstanding Emperor" in Hunan TV's "The King of Comedy" on March 17, 2011. "The Police and the Drug Dealers". Please, thank you, God. Thank you.
I beg you for the lines of "The Misunderstanding Emperor" in Hunan TV's "The King of Comedy" on March 17, 2011. "The Police and the Drug Dealers". Please, thank you, God. Thank you.
I followed the instructions on TV and didn’t finish it.
Misunderstanding Emperor
A: Hello, yes, I have already arrived at Liming Snack Bar, and now I am waiting for Big Bear to come over to trade Shenma! ! ! Daxiong said that he changed the code name of this transaction to buying drugs. He is crazy! Calling out the code name so blatantly! It's easy for the police to find out! ! What a horse! ! Daxiong said that the more dangerous the code, the safer it is. Even if others hear our code, they will never think that we are buying drugs! Oh~~~~~~~ He is too tall! Okay, I'll wait for him here. Don't worry, don't worry.
B: Hello, Captain, I am XXX from the Anti-Narcotics Brigade. Today we received information from an informant that a drug dealer codenamed Daxiong will soon conduct drug transactions at Liming Snack Bar. What did you say? This time Is the codename for the operation Buying Drugs? I remember, buy drugs? Have you arranged for one of our colleagues to ambush here? Great, I promise to complete the mission, don't worry, Captain. (End call)
B: I think it would be better to contact our colleagues first and then handle the case.
(Then he asked the person next to him if he wanted to buy drugs. The first person ran away quickly. He asked again if he wanted to buy drugs? The second person also ran away.)
A heard that, How did he know the code name of this operation! ! He is not a big bear! ! Could it be that Big Bear brought other people with him!!
B: What a situation! ! We didn’t see our colleagues here! And I didn’t see a big bear!
A: Shhhhhhhh! ! ! !
B: Call me!
A: Are you also looking for Big Bear?
B: Are you also looking for him?
A: Buy! B: Drugs! A:?
The two shook hands randomly!
A: Hahahaha, we are peers! !
B: Hahaha, it was so hard to find you! ! There were too many people to notice me when I came in just now. I would like to introduce myself solemnly now. My name is XXX. . (Hastily interrupted by A)
A: How can you blatantly call out your name and shake hands! ! (B: What's wrong) It's too easy to expose yourself. Sit down.
B: Oh, oh, oh, oh, (pointing to the glasses), wouldn’t it be easy for you to expose yourself like this?
A: I do this to better cover myself and be our People in this industry must keep a low profile.
B: Too low-key!
A: Little brother, which district are you in charge of now?
B: Oh, I am in the east.
A: No wonder you are unfamiliar with me. I am responsible for the west side.
B: Oh! ! ~~You are in the west, but our leader did not explain it clearly to us. So I don't really know.
A: Leader! ! Are there any leaders in our industry?
B: Don’t you have any leaders? !
A: We call them bosses, not leaders. This is not a state-owned enterprise! ~
B: Oh~~~We are sometimes called boss
A: How long have you been doing this?
B: What a job! In fact, it didn’t take long. I started working in this industry after I graduated from college, no, after I graduated from graduate school.
A: Graduated from graduate school! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! Do this! ! ! Oh, brother, I'm not talking about you. There are so many jobs available after graduate school, why do you have to do this? !
B: Because that was my childhood dream.
A: What! Childhood dream! ! There are people who dreamed of doing this as a child! ! !
B: You don’t understand the situation. In my family, my father does this, my father’s father does this, and my father’s father’s father also does this! So I have felt that I have a special talent in this area since I was a child.
For example, when it comes to seeing people, I don’t even need to use my eyes to see them. I just need to close my eyes and smell them, and I know what they do!
A: Oops! No wonder your power in the east has been so good in the past two years, and this job has started from a young age!
B: Hey, brother, are you in short supply of people recently? If there is a shortage, I can introduce many of my classmates to come over! All of them are graduate students!
A: They are all graduates! ! Everyone wants to do this! !
B: You don’t know, you are doing our job now! It is the ideal of many university graduates and postgraduate graduates.
A: Ideal. It is said that it is difficult for college graduates to find jobs now. Is this for this reason? !
B: Oops, that’s it. It’s like that
A: What are the benefits of doing our business? It's hard and tiring, and it may even cost our lives. There is that girl who is willing to do it for us! Homeless for days and days.
B: But my problem is solved now, because our boss is very nice and introduced me to a person.
A: What does your wife do?
B: He is the director of the Liming District Public Security Bureau! ! (A: Fell off the stool) How could you have such a big reaction?
A: You, you, you, you, your wife is from the Public Security Bureau! He's a policeman, aren't you afraid? !
B: What’s there to be afraid of? We’re all like this over there. Doesn’t it make our work easier? ! Right! ! Haha, then who is your girlfriend?
A: It’s hard to tell~~~~ (B: Oh, forget it) (A suddenly jumped up and said: Forget it, I’ll tell you!, my wife is a certificate holder )
B: Ah~~~it’s great to apply for the certificate! The person who applied for the certificate was a civil servant. What kind of certificate did she apply for?
A: Fake certificate! ~! ! So she can apply for any certificate! !
B: You found someone who issued a fake certificate to be your girlfriend!
A: He is not my girlfriend! We have been married for more than ten years!
B: Ah! ! ! ! ! Then why did you marry him? !
A: Because I love her! Forget it, let’s not talk about this anymore. In fact, in our industry, we must be modest and cautious. See that man in the back? He keeps looking around! I think he is suspicious!
B: Him! It's a police officer from the nearby police station. Wait a minute! ! !
A: You. . . What to do! return! ! oops ! !
B: I let him go first, haha. I think you are too experienced, brother. I went over and told him that you were too conspicuous here and affected our work, so I asked him to go back first.
A: Just tell him it’s an eyesore and he’ll leave! !
B: No, no, no! We know each other, he also just graduated from graduate school
This is A’s phone ringing
A: Hello Big Bear? Where have you been! ! Hurry up! Hurry up! I'm waiting for you here, hurry up!
A: It’s okay, Big Bear called.
B: What! ! ! Big Bear calls you directly, that’s so powerful! You are the eldest brother! ! He called us directly!
A: No need to be so exaggerated, brother. You see, your boss sent you alone to see a big bear, so you have a bright future
B: You praise me too much, but what you said makes sense. Our boss told me that if I succeeded, and we all went to the Liming Hotel for a celebration party.
A: What! ! Go to the Liming Hotel for a celebration party! !
B: Yes! And we also need to call all our colleagues in the east.
A: You don’t have to be so high-profile!
B: How high-profile is this? We have to find reporters from many TV stations to report it. Our public relations director has been busy with this matter recently.
A: You already have a public relations director! ! oops! ! Let me tell you, I had only seen these in Hong Kong movies before, but I didn’t expect that you have become so internationalized.
B: Oops! Brother, we have to keep up with the times! We must keep pace with the times! Let me tell you, I heard that we have to change weapons in two days
A: Hey! ! ! You all need to change your weapons! !
B: Aren’t you going to change it?
A: We buy it as we use it and throw it away after use!
B: Ah! ! ! ! It’s hard to throw that thing away, so you’re still richer.
A: Brother, what weapons are you using now! !
B: (Secretly taking out the gun) We are all using this model now.
A: Shocked! ! ! You have a gun! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
B: What’s the matter? We all have one! ! ! But we are more strict and can only use it for big things.
A: What! ! You all have a hand!
B: What the heck, we still have submachine guns! ! For example, MP5! Something like that~ Recently our boss was talking about whether we could get a helicopter to come over and use it. Then what weapons are you using? !
A: It’s hard to say~~
B: Forget it.
A: Forget it, let me tell you, we used to use kitchen knives, wooden sticks, and bricks, but our boss only used a butcher knife!
B: Hahahaha, brother, I think those in our industry need to have a sense of humor like you. It means that when you tell a joke, you don't laugh but others laugh, hehehehe, I need to go to the toilet, wait a minute. (Police officer ID card fell out)
A: What! ! ! ! ! He is a policeman. No, I have to leave quickly.
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