Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Bandit, I think about it
Bandit, I think about it
< A beautiful moment like a dream > Is the fourth,
the second is <; Flowers on the sea like a dream > , serial, but you have to register in official website to see
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When Du Xiaosu first entered the business, he once heard Lao Mo say, "In our business, he got up earlier than Zhou skinned, went to bed later than Miss Zhou, ate worse than a pig, worked harder than a donkey, spent more time outside than at home, had darker eyes than a panda, had messy hair than a chicken coop, had a better attitude than a grandson, looked better than anyone, and earned more money."
At that time, Du Xiaosu burst out laughing. Now, whoever tells such a cliche joke again, she has no strength to laugh. After running for four days in the film festival, she didn't even have the strength to make herself a cup of instant noodles. When she got home, she took a hot bath, picked up the hair dryer and turned on the switch. As a result, nothing happened for a long time. It seems to be broken. She really has no strength to study why the hair dryer went on strike, regardless of her hair.
I slept soundly. I don't know how many times the bell rang before I woke her up. The person who picked up the phone was still confused. As a result, Lao Mo yelled at her, "Where are you?" Do you know that the opposite one got the headline? "
She was stunned before she realized, "Deputy Mo, I transferred to the entertainment section."
Lao Mo told her clearly: "I know you transferred to the entertainment section, but the entertainment made headlines and Yan Jingjing had an accident."
Du Xiaosu's mind buzzed, and he got up and put on his clothes while holding his mobile phone. "Is that Yan Jingjing who is red and purple?"
Lao Mo didn't get angry: "Where is the second Yan Jingjing?"
Du Xiaosu has always been afraid of going to the hospital, especially at night, the brightly lit emergency center is in a state of chaos. She has rushed in and found more than a dozen colleagues who have ambushed in place first, including Lao Bi, the entertainment reporter of the new newspaper opposite, who looks nothing like Lao Bi, the host of CCTV. Lao Bi has a chubby face and even dimples when he smiles. Now he is.
"Bi," she smiled more insincerely than Bi, "You guys are really quick this time."
"No, no," Lao Bi almost laughed into a Maitreya Buddha, and his tone was very humble: "Luckily, I happened to be behind Yan Jingjing's car, but I actually photographed the scene of the car accident, or I called 12 for an ambulance. I was lucky this time, but I didn't expect an exclusive to fall from the sky, hehe, hehe ..."
When it comes to car accidents, everyone is so cheerful and unsympathetic that Du Xiaosu turns to another colleague and asks, "How are people? Does the injury matter? "
"I don't know, but I haven't come out since I entered the operating room."
A group of entertainers were impatient. Some people kept calling the newspaper, others walked around with an interview machine, and colleagues received news and rushed to the hospital to join the waiting team. Du Xiaosu took a nap on the bench against time. Just after a short nap, Zhao Shi, Yan Jingjing's agent, arrived by car, and the scene was suddenly in turmoil. Flashlights kept coming and going, and the hospital finally couldn't bear to catch people.
Old Bi smiled: "Nurse, I'm not here for an interview. I'm here to see a doctor." He flaunted the registration form in his hand.
The head nurse in the emergency center was expressionless: "Are you a patient? Well, come with me. "
"what for?" Now it's old bi's turn to be afraid.
"See a doctor," the head nurse said coldly. "I knew you were ill at first sight."
`Everyone burst into laughter, and a group of entertainment records were finally ejected from the emergency center. They were hungry and cold in the cold wind, and Du Xiaosu was so hungry that his stomach ached that he couldn't stand it. So he went to a small restaurant outside the hospital. It was already 11 o'clock in the evening, and the store was still full. The boss was slow to move. Du Xiaosu waited for a long time before waiting for his bowl of shredded eel. Steaming in front of her, it smells delicious, and it's delicious when picked up! So rare that she almost swallowed her tongue.
There is such delicious noodles. Maybe she is hungry. She is not afraid of scalding after eating.
In the middle of the meal, the phone rang, so I grabbed it and answered it. It was Lao Mo: "How's it going? Did you get anything valuable?"
"Not yet," she slurred her noodles. "People are still in the operating room."
"What about Zhao Shi? What did he say?"
"There were a lot of people around, and the hospital kicked us all out without saying a word."
the old man was so angry that he was tearing his hair out. "He won't do something if he doesn't tell you, honey trap. Why should I teach you?"
Du Xiaosu ate noodles by herself and said simply, "Ok, I'll sacrifice my hue later."
I couldn't help it, so I hung up the phone.
Du Xiaosu casually put her mobile phone on the table and continued to eat heavily. From this angle, she could only catch a glimpse of the dark blue sweater of the diners opposite. This dark Lan Shen was like the night, which she liked best. So she glanced through the narrow gap of noodles provoked by chopsticks, saw the neck of the plaid sweater, raised it a little, and saw her chin and slightly raised corners of her mouth, as if laughing.
yes, it's strange that people don't misunderstand when they talk to their mobile phones at the dead of night.
She didn't have time to care what other people thought, so she lowered her eyes and drank noodle soup very greedily. It was delicious and delicious. It must have been hung out with chicken soup. It's a pity that such delicious noodles were finished so soon.
I just walked out of the shop quickly when someone called behind me, "Wait a minute."
With a deep and pleasant tone, it is clear pronunciation and mellow voice, and it must be from the north. Looking back, the dark blue sweater, more like the color of the deep sea under the dim road light, is the man who just sat opposite him. He held out his hand and it was his mobile phone. 1 ~! |6 w9 D" w, Q* l: z8 _
damn it! This memory!
She thanked her quickly, and he just said, "You're welcome."
Just behind him, there was a car passing by, and the car lights flashed instantly, which made his eyebrows and eyes clear. Gee, it's really a sword with eyebrows and eyes. It's very beautiful.
Du Xiaosu always has an inexplicable affection for handsome guys. Zou Siqi, a good friend, asked her why she wanted to switch to entertainment. She was very happy: "I can see handsome guys all day, and I can also ask for a photo interview. How nice!"
Zou siqi scoffed: "anthomaniac!"
Actually, Zou Siqi is more spoony than her.
I stayed up most of the night in the hospital, yawned back to the newspaper office to catch up on my manuscript, and I relied on coffee to refresh myself, but I didn't have the energy again. Lao Mo is still the same as the reminder: "When you go to the hospital in the afternoon, you must take photos of Yan Jingjing."
Du Xiaosu protested: "The hospital is watertight, so how can we take photos?"
Lao Mo didn't care at all: "Find your own way.
damn evil capitalists.
if you scold, you still have to find a way. No exclusivity, no bonus, no rent, water and electricity, three meals a day, annual leave, travel to hot springs Zou Siqi is right. The most difficult collection in the world is money.
The hospital is really watertight, the security guards are devoted to their duties, and Yan Jingjing's ward number can't be found at the front desk. The nurse is very wary: "We are a hospital here, and patients don't want to be disturbed."
But what about the public's curiosity, the right to know and her bonus?
Yan Jingjing, who was red and purple, was admitted to the hospital in a car accident, which was the headline of almost all entertainment newspapers. Lao Bi's exclusive photos contributed a lot. It is said that the photos of the car accident scene in the headline of New Newspaper made many "colors" cry, and the sales volume soared for a while.
when she catches an exclusive, she will be rich.
I spent almost an afternoon in the hospital, but I still couldn't get in. I was disgruntled about going home from work, only to see Lao Bi.
he stealthily waved to her.
I don't know what he wants. As soon as Du Xiaosu walked over, he dragged him into the corner and smiled treacherously: "Xiaosu, shall we cooperate?"
du xiaosu got goose bumps when she called so affectionately. Lao Bi said, "I know which ward Yan Jingjing is in now, and I have a way to get you in, but after taking the photo, each of us will get one."
Du Xiaosu was alert: "Why don't you go by yourself?"
Lao Bi couldn't help sighing: "I want to, but I'm a man." Opening the bag in his hand, he revealed a set of nurse's clothes inside.
Du Xiaosu thought it was very funny. He changed his nurse's uniform in the bathroom, then put on his hat, and finally put on his mask. When he looked in the mirror, only his eyes were exposed, and he admired Lao Bi very much. Even he could think of such a move.
The hospital was very large, and the medical staff came and went, and no one paid attention to her. She successfully touched the emergency center on the second floor. Lao Bi said that Yan Jingjing was still in the emergency ICU after the operation, but she was not transferred to the inpatient department. As a result, let alone the ICU, there were people from entertainment companies in the corridor, and two iron towers stood there, staring at the every move of the medical staff. Look at that, and while one man guards it ten thousand cannot force it, let alone taking pictures, it is estimated that even a fly can't fly.
It's a magic height of one foot and one foot, and I dragged my unwilling steps out. Suddenly, I had an epiphany. I took out a sketch drawn by Lao Bi and studied it for a long time-it was a real sketch, and I drew a sketch with a pencil on a crumpled piece of paper the size of a palm. The crooked lines were like earthworms, and the direction was indicated with scrawled handwriting, which made Du Xiaosu almost mad, but it was such a picture that she understood it.
The fire escape is right next to Yan Jingjing's ICU ward.
She was lucky to go out from the fire escape. The floor-to-ceiling glass in ICU was facing the outdoor fire stairs, and she climbed up the stairs to take out the camera. Unfortunately, the angle was not good, and she didn't dare to bring in a monster telephoto lens. It was impossible to take a picture by zooming the camera itself.
It really fell short. She was not convinced. When she saw the long water pipe in the corner, she suddenly had a brainwave.
The sun's sewer pipe was not cold to the touch, but a little slippery. Perhaps it was because she was sweating too much in her hand. She stepped on the buckle of the pipe with one hand and hooked it with the other. This twisted posture was tolerable-finally she freed one hand to lift the camera.
The angle was almost incredible. She waited patiently for the focus, and the blurred lens finally became clear. She suddenly took a deep breath. With such deep eyes and heroic eyebrows, she could only see half of her face that was not covered by the mask, but this half of her face was incredibly beautiful. He was standing there in a doctor's white robe, tall and thin, but it reminded her of Zhilan Yushu, and the sunshine in late autumn penetrated into the bright glass. Du Xiaosu was in a trance for a moment, as if he were dizzy from the sun, and even forgot to press the shutter. And he decided to look at her through the lens, and she only heard her own heartbeat, thumping thumping, louder than each other. In an instant, she suddenly recognized him as a dark blue sweater she met in a small noodle shop yesterday, and there was a slight roar in her ears, as if the blood vessels were overwhelmed and began to expand from her heart.
it's a strange feeling, as if it took a whole century before she came to her senses. And he has strode to the window. She held up the camera at random and pressed the shutter desperately, and then quickly climbed back to the fire stairs, but it was still late. < P > He quickly appeared in the stairwell, just blocking her on the stairs.
Du Xiaosu couldn't think of anything but smile.
He looks angry: "What are you doing?"
Du Xiaosu caught a glimpse of the sign hanging on his chest: "Neurosurgery, Shao Zhenrong"
Neurosurgery? What kind of doctor is that? Is it for the treatment of mental patients? In a hurry, I still remember grinning and talking nonsense: "Dr. Shao-I have a crush on you for a long time, so you don't mind taking two photos of you secretly?"
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