Give me a joke and ask the great god for help.

How much does it cost to chase a girl? I'm sure you will be very happy after reading it. ) I saved it for two months, and I saved 1 17 yuan. May Day is coming. Is it enough for me to chase a girl I like? I asked that girl out today! 1 17 yuan not only has enough flowers, but also has dozens left. I called her at 8 o'clock in the morning, damn it, it was turned off. What should I do? I ran downstairs to the tenth house and charged her 1 1 yuan, leaving 106 yuan. Then I told her to go downstairs. Hehe, it's my first time to date a girl, and I'm not familiar with the routine. How to save money anyway? I took her to the second canteen and ate 4 yuan worth of steamed buns (there were 4 left, so I packed them). Then we went to the school gate and sat at 6544. I don't know why there are so many people on the bus today, but we didn't get seats until we stood in the South Square. After crossing the finish line, we walked to Victory Park together. Today, on May Day, so many people are playing the space shuttle and whitewater rafting (that is, bungee jumping, a game that challenges nerves). I asked her, do you want to play? She said, play! I went to buy a ticket and waited 1/5 hours before it was my turn. A ticket costs 25 yuan! Shit, forget it. I didn't buy it back. Tell her these things are too dangerous, don't play! Although she is disappointed, let's find a cool place to talk! That girl also has a lot of nonsense. She talked to me for hours and suddenly asked me, are you thirsty? I said I am not thirsty. She said she was thirsty. Let me sit here for a while. She bought two bottles of mineral water. I felt embarrassed and asked, are you hungry? She said it was a little, so I took out four steamed buns packed in the second canteen in the morning from my pocket, which were a little broken, but they were still edible, so I gave her two. She said no, I said you and I were welcome, so she barely ate one. When I saw that my mobile phone was 1, she said my mobile phone was cute. I want to see my mobile phone. My mobile phone is really good. Motorola C65438+ is still a blue screen (I bought it at the Anwar II mobile phone market for 100 when I was in college). I said, deal with it If you like, we can change it to ````````````````````` hers is also a Motorola brand, and it seems to be a V8 series. I don't think this will work for me. The main disadvantage is that there are too many functions and it is more troublesome. I nagged a few words and gave it back to her. I went with her, and the things there were really expensive. I usually buy some clothes to go to Heishui Road under the railway station. The first time I visited this large shopping mall, I arrived at the fourth floor unconsciously. It turned out to be an indoor park. I saw a cinema in it, saying that it was showing Jet Li and Jackie Chan's new films. I asked her if she wanted to see it. She said she wanted to see it, and I invited you to a movie ~ ~ ~ ~ I said, I'll buy a ticket for Cao, 30 yuan, and I only have more than 50 on me. Well, buy it, so I bought one and asked her to go in and have a look. I don't like movies. I'll wait for you outside! After thinking for a while, she went in and bought me one with her own money. What a pity! After watching the movie in a daze, I said go back to school, so we went back to school and had to eat. She insisted on going to a restaurant with five rooms. I said someone just died two days ago, so let's go to the canteen to eat. After eating, I will send her back to bed. She said no, I went back by myself and came to the Internet cafe to play! This is my first time chasing girls! I immediately wrote about my pursuit of her online, which is called "Love Story of Master Teacher"! It's cool today, so I just want to ask her out again and call her at 9 o'clock. Should she stop her cell phone? There are three possibilities in this situation: first, she has no money to charge the phone bill. Second, she's dead. Third, the worst result is that she changed her fucking number and tried to avoid me! I was in a bad mood, so I came to Yingtu to surf the Internet. I was almost killed by a car when crossing the road. Check the schedule of their class for a while and create some opportunities to know and chase girls. You have to be cheeky. I have no money, and my monthly living expenses are 270 yuan (including subsidies). Even my toothbrush has been used to brush my teeth and shoes since the last graduate, but that doesn't mean I'm not handsome. It's a popular face with socialist characteristics. But I don't think she is the kind of vain and snobbish girl who likes money, so I decided not to give up. She's online, too. I asked her: Where are you? She replied with a word: Oh! I added the exclamation point myself. ) I asked her: Is your cell phone turned off? She replied in another word: Oh! Dear experienced brothers and sisters, help me analyze it. What should I do? To tell the truth, I am a shy and introverted boy of 22 years old. I haven't even held a girl's hand. I am about to graduate from normal college. If you don't get a girlfriend, you have to find a boyfriend in the future. It's really something that gets angry. I'm in a bad mood all day today. I watched the rocket game this morning. I watched Yatai's game in the afternoon when the Rockets lost. Yatai lost. I just went to the third floor of the second canteen to eat a bowl of slag noodles. The old man who cooks noodles is over 60 years old, with a beard and long hair. Like the movie actor Yuan Hua, I'm afraid he will be unstable. If he falls into the pot again, my noodles will be ruined. I have been watching him, but he didn't notice that I saw him. The noodles he made were really buried for eight generations. When he was cooking, he put one in to see if the noodles were cooked, as if it was because his mouth was hot. Noodles in a washbasin are washed with cold water (maybe at night) and then dropped back into the pot. After a while, he poured the noodles into the washbasin and pulled them out again. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I turned away. How else can I eat them? I never waste food, so I ate it all. I wrote so much just to tell everyone not to eat there again. She sent me a message this morning asking me if I had a discount card for the United Bookstore. According to my past experience, she wanted me to extend an olive branch ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ I said you were going to buy books. Let me go with you! I know the owner of the United Bookstore (I'm bragging) and she agreed! I borrowed a membership card from my roommate and asked her to meet the girl at the school gate. It was really dark. I waited for her at the school gate for more than an hour and called her six or seven times before she turned around. But today, her skirt is really beautiful. On such a cold day, she came out in a miniskirt. Unfortunately, there is a pair of jeans inside, and I don't know how to get to United Book City. Then take a taxi. I stopped a taxi ~ "Master, for 5 yuan, United Book City can't leave." The driver is also very enthusiastic. "I'll pull you to the Middle East market of means of production, and then go ahead and you'll get there!" Fool! I told her that we'd better take a bus. We got on the 1 14 road. More people go to the city today. I almost stood on the bus with one foot. I don't know if she can insist. I had to put my face on the face of a boy next to me. In the morning, I seem to have eaten the dumpling stuffed with leek, and I seem to have returned it to him with garlic sauce. At that moment, I secretly vowed; You must have your own private car in the future, and the grade must be above Guangzhou Honda! There are so many people, I wonder if she will be taken advantage of. We stood there until we wanted to occupy a place in jiaozi next time. We just sat for a few seconds before the conductor drove us away! Knowing the way, she led me all the way from the railway station to United Book City. We have chosen books in it for a long time. She asked me, which one do you like to read, Four Great Classical Novels? In fact, I haven't read any books, but in order not to lose face, I said I like reading the Red Chamber. She studies Chinese. A Dream of Red Mansions is estimated to have been watched by her 800 times. She was very happy and then wanted to discuss with me that I really haven't seen the Red Mansion. I saw some illustrations in Jin Ping Mei. She asked me: What do you think of the book A Dream of Red Mansions? What nonsense do you ask? Can a bad article become a masterpiece? (If Cao Xueqin writes A Dream of Red Mansions on Baidu Post Bar, the reply will definitely be faster than the explosion. ) I said it was good, but the content was a bit too vulgar! Then let's change the subject silently. I really don't like literature. I said, which star do you like? She said she liked Pierce Brusina and Marilyn Monroe. Shit, what she said is really a fart. It's a mess. I have taste, right? She asked me who I liked. I said Rainbow Meng Xiao in "Country Love" because she looks a bit like you, and then she was silent for a while ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Let's go to the first floor and pay for two books. 35! I tried to bargain. The shop assistant ignored me, and she was ready to pay the bill with a book and wallet. I said I'll do it (a bit male chauvinistic). Actually, I'm just pretending. I'm sure she won't let me hand it in. Twenty-four dollars suddenly appeared on me, and she really made me pay. What a pity! I said I'll take half! She didn't have enough money on her, so she took it all. Let's go back together. I suggest that we go to dinner together. She said where to go, so I took her to the underground of the railway station and treated her to a bowl of chaos. After dinner, she said it was getting dark. Let's go back to school early. I saw it only 12. I said you were in a hurry. Go back by yourself! I didn't expect that she was really tough and really left me there and came back by herself! To be continued, I have been saving money recently! My monthly allowance is 22.5 yuan, with no extra points. I'd better pick up my own girl, so that stupidity is better than jealousy! I have kept you waiting for so many days, mainly because of the Sichuan earthquake, and my emotional experience has not made any progress during this time. However, yesterday was her birthday, and she called me to attend. I specially made a mask, tidied my hair, borrowed a suit to attend, and went back to KTV near the school. I have a certain level of singing. I want to conquer her with my singing. I can sing bel canto in pop. Andy Lau's Thanks for Her Love 1999 is the best way to sing popular songs with Bel Canto. I practiced in the dormitory all afternoon, and my voice was hoarse. When it felt almost evening, I called her and told her that I was leaving first. I didn't expect that four people in their dormitory had arrived, so I went by myself. As soon as I entered the room, there was an atmosphere of rolling stones, and everyone in the room ignored me. I sat in the corner and listened to them sing. After a while, the waiter came into the room and brought some bottles of beer. When I opened it, I found that they didn't buy me my share. Ok, then I won't drink. I asked to sing my title song. March of the Volunteers didn't expect them to pack up and leave. Tell me to sing here first. My ass is not hot yet. Then you should go first. They're gone. I sang in it alone for half an hour, and I felt bored, so I decided to go. When I passed the bar, I was stopped by my boss to check out. I was fooled by 32 yuan. It doesn't matter. Who made me like her? This morning, she contacted me and asked me to go shopping with her, sitting on 152. Well, we went to the back door of the campus, which was really buried and waited for a long time. Let's stand together. My stomach feels strange at this time. I ate two big radishes yesterday, which seems to reflect that I didn't expect the car to jump when I crossed the driveway, so I accidentally let it go. The noise is still very loud. I am embarrassed. I glanced at her and she looked at me awkwardly. What should I do? This is a complete shame. I had a brainwave and told her that this was the ringtone of my mobile phone. Is it very personal? She said you smelled it. Did your mobile phone burn? As soon as I blushed, I jumped out of the car and went back to school by myself. I gave up her girl: hello, everyone, I am the girl that the landlord chased. Really bad for him for eight generations! The problem is, I don't know him. One day, my boyfriend and I ate in the second canteen. Suddenly, a little fat man with glasses came over and took half a bottle of peanut butter left by himself and put it on our table. He said he would buy me a drink. I thought he was polite and thought he was joking. Beauty, I have been paying attention to you for a long time. Can I teach a friend of yours? My boyfriend was in a hurry to hit him, but I didn't expect him to take my boyfriend seriously. I think my boyfriend is very worthless. I broke up with him in front of the landlord. The landlord was very happy and asked me for my phone number. I gave it to him and began to wait for the landlord's pursuit. Unexpectedly, a year passed and he didn't make any movement until last month. One day, he sent me a message, and I looked at it. I bought you something delicious downstairs. I was glad you came down to get it, so I ran down in my pajamas. He was still wearing camouflage clothes during military training in his junior and freshman years. I said, what did you buy? He rummaged for a long time and took out a green bean paste ice cream, saying it was for me. I accepted it, but I was not in a good mood. He said he could ask me out to play when he was free, and then it was May Day. The scene is exactly the same as above. Onlooker: I was at 152 that day. The woman in red and the man in green are not as tall as that woman. At first, the whole car was talking and laughing. Then they suddenly quieted down (only today did they know that the man was leaking air). After a while, the man fumbled and shouted, "Where's my mobile phone?" The woman looked up and down, but he didn't make any noise. The man let out a cry again, "mama of, my Motorola pay! Master, don't stop! Nobody wants to leave! " The man said to the woman again, "Hurry up! Alarm! " The woman is very unhappy: "Why use my phone?" Man: "I Cao, I didn't lose my mobile phone!" " "So the woman reluctantly took out her mobile phone:" Who are you calling? "The man's fire is obviously under control:" 1 10! " "As soon as the woman untied the keyboard, she asked," What's the number of 1 10? " This time, I was really angry with the man: "Do you have a brain fistula? What is the number 1 10? You won't fucking call 1 14 and ask that! At the station, the driver stopped and all the passengers got off until we got off. ...