Funny messages wake people up.

1, two drunks chatting, I really deserve to die. I told my wife that I was married. I deserve to die even more! I made a slip of the tongue after drinking and told my wife about my idea of remarriage.

2. Guess a human organ, one on the left and one on the right; Arc, soft; Some people will put a cover on it; Sensitive zone. The answer is earlobe! I want to go to the toilet and hold my head and sing Dongfanghong 1 hour!

After examining the beautiful female patient carefully, the doctor said happily, Mrs. Wang, I have good news for you. Patient: No, I'm Miss Wang. Doctor: Oh, well, I have some bad news for you.

When I was born, God promised to marry his most beautiful daughter to me. I looked around, looked up and down, waited for 2 1 year, and then ran to ask God. God said: What's your hurry? I don't even have a girlfriend!

A mother and daughter are shopping, and a rogue has been following her daughter, trying to steal oil. When my daughter just wanted to tell her mother that this man was a rogue, she didn't expect her mother to say first: This rogue is always following me, and I'm bored to death.

6. I like a girl and have never had the courage to contact her. Later, I finally got up the courage to invite her to dinner and confessed. I didn't expect to open my mouth and say: How about sleeping together?

7. When you pick up the mirror and look at your round face, high nose, charming eyes, sexy mouth and blessed ears, you will sigh loudly-pig! ! ! !

8. Are you lonely? If so, go downstairs and buy a rope and stick, tie the rope to the stick, and wave the stick on the roof when it is windy. What do people want to ask you? Just say: I have a seizure. . .

9. People are really tired when they are alive! Standing thinking about sleeping, getting on the bus and waiting in line, unrequited love is really painful, eating is tasteless, drinking is easy to get drunk, working is particularly tired, robbery is not enough, and you have to pay taxes to earn money, alas! Even texting pigs costs money!

10, just a gust of wind, but so eternal, just a dream, but so real. You bowed your head and said nothing, but I couldn't calm down. I finally can't help telling you, let me know the next time you fart!

1 1. One night, a naked man called a taxi and the female driver stared at him intently. The naked man was furious and shouted: * * Never seen a naked man! The female driver is also furious: I see where * * pays!

12, actually, I don't want to bother you. Actually, I want to say three words to you I really can't stand it any longer. If I don't talk, I'm afraid I'll die. So today I finally got up the courage: get up!

13, when I was a child, I heard my mother say that my ass would be cooked if I basked in the sun for too long, so now you can either change your face and continue baking or get dressed and get up. You have no choice. ..

14, get up in the morning, look at each other, look in the mirror, fat, wow! The spirit is really cool, and I have lost a few pounds. It's really good. Only in this way can there be hope. I play music so loudly that I can't stop, like Niu Wangmo.

15, dear: It's time to get up. If you don't sleep, you will become a pig. Hahahahaha ~ ~, I miss you. Do you miss me?

16, not good! ! ! Your bed told me last night that it was overwhelmed! I implore it. Please spare it! Let it have a rest! ! !

17, get up! ! ! Get up! ! ! Get up! ! ! We are United to escape from the warm bed, get up, leave the warm bed, get up! Get up! Get up! Come on!

18, "Those who don't want to be slaves, get up!" Wow ~ the underwear you are wearing is so sexy!

19, this information is purely harassing information, harassing people who are still sleeping to go to the toilet to continue sleeping, those who are not awake don't sleep, and those who are awake pick up their mobile phones to harass those who are not awake with me! ! !

We are all pests, we are all lazy ... We are all lazy ... Get up! Get up lazy. ...

2 1, the sun is shining, flowers smile at me, love learning and labor, and make contributions to the people in the future! You're going to do meritorious service, why don't you get up? !

22, open the curtains to see ... people's pigs are up ... can't lose to pigs ~? Easy? Have you seen my handwriting? Ha ha laugh .. I woke up ~

23, pig! Your eyes are so dark that you can't see the edge when you look at them ... pig! Your ears are so big, you can't hear me say you are stupid ... pig head, pig brain, pig body and pig tail, sleeping in the sun three times a day ... pig! If you sleep any longer, there will be an earthquake! ! ! !

24. Dear mobile users: As your points have reached the requirements, our company will send a super handsome guy, please go downstairs to collect it within three minutes, and it will not be processed after the expiration!

25.what are you doing? Still sleeping? I got up early and had nothing to do. By the way, I will wake you up to pee.

26. Dear China Mobile users, you have successfully customized the early morning alarm clock service. We will disturb you at 5 o'clock every day until you get up. To cancel the service, please reply "I am a pig, I want to sleep, I don't get up".

27. Dear: It's time to get up. Don't sleep. You are going to become a little pig. Ha ha ha ha ha ~ ~, miss you. Do you miss me?

28. I hope your eyes can only see a smile; I hope every dream you have in the future will not be in vain!

29, get up in the morning, look at each other, look in the mirror and see if you are fat, wow! The spirit is really cool, and I have lost a few pounds. It's good. Only in this way can there be hope. I play music so loudly that I can't stop, like Niu Wangmo.

30. I ask the sun to shed happy sunshine on you every day. I ask the moon to give you a sweet dream every day. Wish you all the best!

3 1. Open your eyes and give you a gentle blessing. May it bring you health, good luck and happiness every minute. I hope you have a nice day!

32. A greeting, a wish and a string of blessings. I hope there will always be happiness in your heart …

33. I will be happy to receive blessings in the morning, and I will be happy to receive blessings in the spring; It's morning and spring. I send my blessing to you to make you happy every second.

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