The devil's law between husband and wife, classic love quotations

The law of washing dishes: it is easy for a wife to wash dishes, but it is easy for a husband to wash dishes.

Law of Chatting: The more you talk, the more energetic you are, the more wives you have, the less you talk, and the more husbands you have.

Law of quarrel: The more a husband and wife quarrel for no reason, the fiercer they quarrel.

Law of distance: Sometimes the farther the geographical distance between husband and wife is, the closer the emotional distance is.

Law of crisis: When the family economy is in crisis, the husband always wants his wife to help him, and the wife's idea is whether she can change her husband.

Law of temper: between husband and wife, how much money you earn determines your temper, and those who don't earn money have no temper.

Law of equality: both husband and wife consider themselves parents, but the important thing is not that one person has the final say.

Law of persuasion: once there is a contradiction between husband and wife, the more people come forward to persuade, the more difficult it is to solve the contradiction.

Loyalty law: the more a wife loves her husband, the more loyal her husband is; The more a husband loves his wife, the more unfaithful she is to her husband.

The law of going home: the wife wants to go home as soon as she goes out, and the husband doesn't like to go home as soon as she goes out; Once the wife doesn't want to go home, the husband has to go home quickly; Once the husband refuses to go home, the wife will leave home sooner or later.

The law of laughter: in lovers who know love, teasing each other will turn into humor, while in lovers who don't know love, teasing each other will turn into a war.

Law of speech: The more words a couple say, the less weight they carry.

Law of going out: the wife is most anxious to go out, and the wife goes out last.

Law of cooking: It must be the wife who cooks often, and the husband who cooks well.

The law of spending money: the wife spends money on dressing up (beauty, clothes), and the husband is addicted to spending money (cigarettes, alcohol, cards ...).

The law of buying food: when you arrive at the vegetable market, you don't know what to buy. Most of them are wives. In the vegetable market, most of them are husbands.

Law of Maturity: The more mature the husband who is deeply loved by his wife, the less mature the wife who is spoiled by her husband.

Law of injury: between husband and wife, the more one pays for the other, the greater the injury when breaking up.

Work rules: In the eyes of her husband, there is always nothing to do at home; In the eyes of his wife, there will always be endless work at home.

Law of doing things: it is always better to get what you want from your husband and feel that what you want from your wife.

Law of dress: men only have clothes that fit, but lack fashionable clothes; Women only have fashionable clothes and lack clothes that fit them.

Complete works of husband and wife paragraphs

Complete works of husband and wife paragraphs

1. China is not monogamous, but monogamous. No room, no wife, more rooms, more wives. I never understood why my wife was called a big room and two rooms, and now I really understand that the ancients didn't cheat me.

2. At night, my wife came out with a bath towel after taking a shower, and my husband secretly stared at her. My wife said angrily, what are you looking at? Haven't you ever seen a beautiful woman take a bath? The husband looked at his wife as a whole and said, I think it's a beautiful woman who got out of prison! ?

Wife: Honey, if your mother and I both fall into the river, who will you save first? Husband: at the same time, save. Wife: How do you save it? Husband: Holding mom and carrying you. Wife angry: no! Dave: What was that? Wife: If you really love me, you have to hold me and carry your mother. Dave: But, but, honey, I can only breaststroke.

4. The wife came home from work, without saying anything, picked up her husband's arm and took a bite. The husband was badly bitten. Looking at the deep tooth marks on his arm, he shouted, Why did you bite me? The wife picked up her husband's arm, carefully looked at the tooth marks on it and said, I didn't mean to bite you. Just now, my colleague at work said that my teeth were uneven, so I bit the tooth marks on your arm to see.

5. Wife: Honey, when did you first find yourself in love with me? Husband: When people call you stupid and ugly and I start to go crazy.

6. A bunch of women are chatting with a man. The man said: I told my wife that my wife has the final say at home and I have the final say outside. A woman said: No wonder your wife always said on the phone that she would come back to discuss something!

7. Husband: Will you do the dishes later? Wife: OK. Husband: Then why don't you move? Wife: I have a headache. Husband: I'm so lazy that you don't have a headache if I don't let you wash the dishes. Wife: Really! The thought of washing dishes gives me a headache.

8. My husband is much taller than me and always likes to hug my shoulder when going out. When I was shopping that day, I said, stop hugging your shoulders and hug your waist. Unexpectedly, my husband looked around and said awkwardly that there were so many people in the street. Do you want me to walk with my back bent?

9. My wife complained to me: When we were in love, you picked me up from work every day, took me to the movies, told me to sleep at night, and talked sweetly all day. Now, hum, you are too lazy to talk to me. While watching TV, I said, This has something to do with my work. I am in sales. When I fall in love, it's like selling products. It's after-sales service time, which is none of my business.

10. Wife: I wonder what fashion will be popular this spring. Husband: There are only two kinds, one is what you don't like, and the other is what you like and I can't afford.

Complete works of husband and wife paragraphs

1. Every time a wife quarrels with her husband, she has to go to the toilet for half a day. This kind of situation is more, the husband has to ask his wife: What are you doing in the toilet? It seems quite Japanese? The wife said: brush the toilet! My husband asked, can I get rid of gas by brushing the toilet? The wife said: I don't know, anyway, every time I use your toothbrush.

2. Run away from home with her husband. One day I called him and said, honey, I bought two cucumbers, which are very fresh and must be delicious. At that time, the market was very noisy. I couldn't hear him, so I turned on the speaker. I heard my husband say, don't buy it if you are with me. People will doubt my function. Dear, I turned on the speakerphone at that time, and the uncle who sold vegetables smiled wretched!

I remember a few years ago, my father and I watched the World Cup and NBA together. Dad proudly said: who will marry my daughter in the future and how happy it is to have a wife to watch the football match with me. Now, when I sit alone in front of the TV watching the European Cup in the middle of the night, I am beside my sleeping husband. I just want to tell my dad in tears: Dad, I looked for my husband, and he didn't watch the ball and refused to accompany me.

One day, Xiao Wang was watching TV with his wife. There is a report on TV: According to the survey, there is hope for men to have an extramarital affair-Xiao Wang quickly explained to his wife: I am another one! As soon as the voice fell, the TV continued to report: The other one hopes to have a lot of extramarital affairs!

The husband scolded his wife and said, did you do this? Waxy! Waxy! Also called vegetables? No, chlorophyll is still a little. Who told you to come home so late every day? Of course, I didn't know they were young on my spatula.

6. The wife works in the customer complaint department of a department store. After quarreling with her husband one day, in order to make up, her husband was also complaining from customers. When it was his turn, he whispered in his wife's ear and took her out for dinner in the evening as an apology. When his wife heard this, she immediately smiled and kissed him. After the husband left, the man behind came forward and said, my complaint is the same as his.

7. Wife: How kind you were to me before you got married. If you run into a puddle while walking, carry me there. Now, you don't do this. I think you love me only half as much as before. Husband: What can I do? At that time, your weight was only half that of today!

An employee of the insurance company is teaching his wife to drive. When the car went downhill, the brakes suddenly failed. Oh, my God, the car can't stop. His wife shouted, what should I do? Pray. He instructed his wife to talk, and then found something cheap to smash!

9. I bought a bottle of gray nail polish today, and it feels good to wear. I just want to show it to my husband. Husband actually said: painting onychomycosis, one infects two!

10. Wife: Honey, I had a dream yesterday. I dreamed that you swept the floor, cooked, washed dishes, washed clothes and did a lot of housework today! Dear, will my dream come true? Husband: Wife, I also had a dream yesterday. I dreamed that when I was doing housework, you said to me: honey, you rest, let me do it! Dear, will my dream come true?

Complete works of husband and wife paragraphs

1. Wake up your wife: Listen, would you like to go for a walk with me?

2. A daughter: My husband and I have been married for seven years, and he has always treated me the same as on the wedding day. Woman B: I heard you two quarreling last night! A woman: Yes! My husband and I quarreled the day we got married.

The husband made his wife angry again, and the wife nagged: In this world, it is you that I love and hate! The husband immediately smiled: no, I just ranked third. The wife is confused: ranked third? Who else? The husband said, there is a mirror and weighing scale.

Your wife hurt herself. If someone in this world loves your wife more than you do, you are not far from trouble.

In order to investigate its listening rate, the radio station decided to call 1000 men on Sunday night. What are you listening to now? Because everyone will ask. Listen to my wife's nagging. Of the 1000 men, 934 answered this question.

6. Wife: You always talked in your sleep last night. Do you know that?/You know what? Husband: I don't know. what did i say? Wife: You seem to be scolding me. Husband: Maybe, because I am too busy during the day to take time to scold you.

7. An American friend and his Chinese wife Qin Se get along well and often joke about it. One day, the husband complained to the guests that mosquitoes at home only bit him, which shows that even mosquitoes bully foreigners in China. His wife chimed in: Because mosquitoes in China like to eat western food.

8. Wife: Help me see if I broke my palm. Dave: Don't look, you must have it! Wife: What do you mean? Husband: Otherwise, how could my life be ruined by you?

9. A couple went to the photo studio to take wedding photos. The woman wanted to take a theme wedding photo and asked about the price. The staff said how much is this and how much is that. The man listened impatiently: Why is it so expensive? Staff: The main reason is that clothes are expensive. Then give us an Adam and Eve series.

10. Husband: Did you receive the letter I wrote to you from Shanghai the other day? Wife: I got the letter, but I dare not read it. Husband: Why? Wife: because you still write on the back of the envelope that there are photos inside, don't open it!

1 1. Handsome guy is unhappy all day after marrying an ugly wife! Ugly wife: Honey, why are you so cold to me these days? ! Handsome boy: It's because your father is a director! Ugly wife: But he died a month ago. Handsome guy: That's why I'm depressed!

Connotation dialogue between husband and wife

Connotative dialogue between husband and wife 1, husband is in a bad mood and has been drinking. . .

The wife asked, What are you doing?

Husband said: don't talk to me, I want to be quiet!

The wife turned around with her mouth wide open and asked, TMD, who is quiet?

Really, sometimes it's hard to be quiet in life. . .

Husband took his wife for a ride, remembering that he had been slapped in the face, and he felt uncomfortable and parked his car on the side of the road.

The wife asked, What are you doing?

The husband replied impatiently: I want to stop. What's the matter?

Wife: Damn, I just want to be quiet and Tingting! Another big mouth.

2. Me: Wife, I bought you a bottle of perfume.

Daughter-in-law: How much?

Me: You can sleep with me.

Wife: 400 yuan.

If I know anything,

When my husband started chasing me, I thought he was handsome but had poor aesthetics. After years of training, his aesthetics are getting better and better, and now he finally begins to dislike me for not being beautiful enough!

Yesterday I asked my husband if he liked me to wear jeans or stockings.

Husband said: I like my daughter-in-law to wear pants and other women to wear stockings.

A little joke between husband and wife

( 1)

Xiao Kai said to his wife, "You always like to compare with Xiao Yang's house next door. He decorated the house, and you want me to decorate our house according to his decoration mode. " His family bought a computer, and you want me to buy a computer exactly like his family. what do you think? "

"Have they added anything new to the family?" The wife asked anxiously.

"He married a beautiful young wife yesterday." Xiao Kai replied.

Understand that you should not always compare with others, let alone blindly imitate one family. Every couple has their own situation, and it is impossible to completely copy the happiness of others, but it is good to be happy in live high.

(2)

The wife complained to her husband, "You don't understand a woman's heart at all, and you are always unwilling to tell me what I like to hear."

Sir: "well, just remind me what you like to hear."

Wife: "At least the name should be changed. Don't always call it' wife'. It is more intimate to call three words. "

Sir: "I see, old woman."

Understand that when the other person is in high spirits, don't say anything or do anything, and understand that happiness and happiness run together.

(3)

A couple who have lived in harmony for a long time are talked about. When a local reporter asked about the secret of a happy marriage, the husband explained to the reporter: Well, it starts with our honeymoon. We went to the Grand Canyon for our honeymoon. Originally, we were going to ride a donkey to the bottom of the canyon, but it didn't take long for my wife's donkey to fall off. My wife said calmly, the first time, we were on the road again, and the donkey fell down again. My wife said calmly, the second time, the donkey fell down before walking half a mile, and then my wife pulled out her revolver and killed the donkey. I couldn't agree with her behavior, so I began to argue with her. At this moment, my new wife whispered to me for the first time. ...

Understand that there must be some awesome bottom lines in marriage. By testing the other side, you know where the other side's bottom line is, make concessions consciously, and never let yourself be unscrupulous.

(4)

Dayong went home suddenly on a business trip. At the door, he heard a man snoring. Dayong walked away silently and sent a short message to his wife: "Divorce!" Then throw away the mobile phone card and fly away. Three years later, they met again in a city. The wife asked, "Why did you leave without saying goodbye?" Dayong explained the situation at that time, and his wife turned her head and simply said, "That's Rising's little lion."

What couples need to understand most is not passion and impulse, but trust. Even if you see or hear something, at least give the other party a chance to explain, because even if you hear and hear something, there may be something else hidden.

(5)

When Kobayashi's neighbor came home and saw Kobayashi standing outside the door, he went up to him strangely and asked, "Hey, Kobayashi, what's the matter?" Cann't get in the door? "

Kobayashi smiled and said, "My brain is failing. I forgot my key!" " "

"Come to my house first." The neighbor said enthusiastically.

Kobayashi refused: "No, my wife will be back soon."

After the neighbor left, Kobayashi gently knocked on the door: "Dear, please open the door. Can't I admit my mistake? "

Understand that people are proud. Many times, they would rather be wronged by themselves than lose face in front of outsiders. There is a big contradiction between husband and wife that should be solved in the house. At no time should an iron gate separate two people.