Funny quotes and pictures that don’t want to be written

1. Every time I write an article, I worry about not being able to find suitable pictures. Where do you find your pictures?

3 ways to quickly obtain materials: < /p>

1. Sina Weibo

2. WeChat public account

3. Wukong Q&A, Zhihu

Or search directly on the public account Keywords. Pay attention to a series of types of public accounts:

1. Materials are updated every day

2. Convenient

3. Wide range.

For example, when we write beautiful articles and chicken soup for the soul, you can search for: chicken soup for the soul, beautiful articles, heart-warming words, inspirational, philosophy, classic quotations, positive words, life insights, life insights, etc.

It is best to go to the Internet or some websites that are not commonly used by people to find matching pictures. This way the pictures are more innovative and can effectively increase the user's stay time. 2. A funny story for future high school classmates

5. The bitter vine, the old tree, the dim crow, and the cafeteria aunt again 1. ┈━═Idiot″ ┈━═Crazy″

2. I led my dog ??to see who was unhappy and bit it. I put my schoolbag on my back with a smile on my face, and walked into the school in a hurry. From then on, I embarked on a road of no return

4. I hate it the most Talking bad about your bestie to gain popularity makes your classmates look as thin as a horse! The sun sets, people have backgrounds, but I only have my back, I want to start school but don’t want to start school, what’s wrong with me~ˉ~

6. Take a trip, Mom, I want to go home - super funny

3. On a September 1st more than ten years ago, when I walked around, I was dancing and cool. Don’t always have long hair that reaches your waist. Do you want to become a sperm?

8. Two sheets of paper, silly sheets of paper,

9. The ugliest thing about taking photos of everyone holding hands is the ID card.

11.

7. Isn’t it said that everyone is equal now? Why was I kicked out of the women's restroom?

10 3. Find some funny jokes and short sentences. It is best to write them yourself. If you don’t want to read them online, I read them much better.

Mom asked me to translate! ! ! (Super hilarious)

I was watching a DVD today, and my mom came in with another book and said: Tell me what these sentences mean

Mom: This What does "i don't know." mean?

I said: "I don't know"

Mom: I've sent you to college for several years, but you don't know anything! !

I said: No! Is it just "I don't know"? !

Mom: Talk back! ! ! ! $@%! #$^&%#$%@$%@#$%!^%^!^%$^#&;.. (a violent beating)

Mom: Are you telling me Say this. You should know what "i know." means. Tell me.

I said: "I know"

Mom: Just tell me if you know.

I said: "I know"

Mom: Are you looking for trouble? Didn't you take care of yourself just now?

I said: I know it!

Mom: I know you haven’t told me yet! ! Don’t pretend to understand if you don’t understand! &;*$%^@$#! %$@^%#*$^^^##$% (Another violent beating)

Mom: Be careful, I spent so much money to send you to college, what happened now You don't know anything. You know a little bit but you still show off to me. Let me ask you the last question. Please explain it to me. If you can't tell me, I'm trying to deal with you. Please translate "i know but i don't want" to me. to tell you."What does it mean?

I fainted, picked up a pillow and hit my head more than thirty times, banged my head against the wall more than forty times, slapped my mouth more than fifty times with both hands, and kicked the corner of the table more than sixty times. Next, when my flesh and blood were mutilated, I asked my mother: Are you satisfied with this?

Then she came to ask me again: "Son, I`m very annoyance, don`t tuouble me. What does it mean~? "

Me: "I'm very annoyed, don't bother me"

Mom: "I'm sorry for talking to your mother like that" (so I was flattened)

Mom asked again; "i hear nothing, repeat. What does it mean?"

I said: "I didn't hear it clearly, please say it again"

Mom said it again: I hear nothing,repeat"

"I didn't hear it clearly, say it again"

I was flattened

Mom asked again : "what do you say "How to explain it?"

I said: "What do you say" (flattened again)

Mom asked again: "look up in the dictionary "What do you mean?'

I said: "Look it up in the dictionary"

"Look it up in the dictionary and I ask you what you are doing" (flattened)

Mom And asked: you had better ask some body. How to translate it?"

I said: "You had better ask others"

"You are my son, why should I ask others? Looking for a fight."

"Ah! god save me!"

"God save me! ”

“You are playing tricks on your mother, even God can’t save you!” (Being flattened)

I ask you again: "use you head, then think it over, what does it mean!"

I said: "Use your head, then think it over carefully Think about it."

"You bastard, you dare to play tricks on me" and then started to do it again

I quickly said: "Only my mother is good in the world"

"Well, that's pretty much it. I'll make some delicious food for you later, and I'll ask you tomorrow." 4. Humorous sentences to describe your mood

1. Why do you talk more nonsense than Hunan TV's advertisements? Ah

2. I want to be as thin as a bolt of lightning to light up all the obscene fat people

3. I would rather be fat and refined than to be thin and the same

4 .The hair is gone without a trace, and the dandruff is more outstanding

5. Use the landlord’s toothbrush to clean the toilet when you are depressed

6. Cucumbers are about taking pictures, life is about having fun

< p> 7. Brains are daily necessities, not decorations

8. Whoever’s husband is a fucking temporary worker

9. Just showing half of your *** doesn’t mean The fact that you are sexy only means that your underwear is too small

10. Your smile is brighter than that piece of shit in the sun

11. If two people stay together for a long time, they will be together. Staring is also a romantic thing

12. My heart is not the bus, it is not that you can sit down if there is room

13. Count the stars with me. If your IQ is low, just count the moon.

> 14. Mermaid, I love you, only you will not cheat

15. My ears are not trash cans, don’t throw everything here

16. Life is like a journey, You can't tell where it will overturn

17. You call me a diver for fun, but you call me a lurker for fun

18. The most useless thing in the world is your salary slip, which makes you angry. , wipe *** too fine

19. Medicine does not cure fake illnesses, wine does not cure real sorrows

20. Sorry, the signature is too personal and the system cannot display it, please refresh< /p>

21. Life is like poop, we are intoxicated like dung beetles

22. Leave the last sip of water to the comrades in need! Give me that bottle of orange juice

23. Some people look much better than real people when they put on a facial mask

24. I also want to be an elegant lady. Forced to become a shrew

25. The most common thing a thick-skinned person says is, I will treat you badly

26. Do you know what a big shot is? He is a little person who keeps working hard

27. For men, having breasts is a mother. For women, a rich man is a man

28. Looking at your photo, I want to make it black and white and hang it on the wall!

29. Asking you how much sorrow you can have is like a shot of snow beer

30. Eat all your health, use up your body and soul, gamble all your money, and die

< p> 31. Excuse me: Is it the sun or the moon in the sky? Sorry, I’m not a local!

32. The reason for refusing to confess is often that we are not from the same world and are inappropriate. Am I from Mars? Not suitable for people on earth?

33. I am now trying to make money to buy a plane ticket for 2012

34. Don’t charge me, because I have caller ID here

35. Do you think that if someone calls you Youlemei, you will be beautiful? Do you know that Youlemei is a disposable product?

36. It’s free to exchange autographs every day anyway

37. The boss burst into tears when he came to the bowl

38. I will chase you with Cupid’s arrows and wear bulletproof The vest is flying

40. Death is not scary. The scary thing is that you dare not die

41. I am not a bone, and I cannot let every dog ??chase me

< p> 42. I am not a straw boat, please direct your insults to me

43. Life is like anxiety, there are no accurate lyrics, but it is thrilling

44. Still 10086 pairs Hello, I sent him the right text message, and he replied 3 messages to me

45. The mistress cried. Because Xiaosi broke his beautiful life

46. A: Sister, if someone hurts you, how long will it take for you to forgive him? B: Forgiving him is a matter for God, and my task is to send him to see God.

47. Every girl wants to have a eighth brother, but unfortunately not everyone can be Qingchuan

48. Men, men, I hope you are a good person

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49. My character is good and my parents have no worries

50. The heartbroken people are dancing in the sunset