Laugh at French jokes in English

An old lady from China went to a city bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her shortly after visiting her daughter in the United States. At the bank counter, the money is real. It makes people lose patience. At last she couldn't help it, and said, "Trust me, sir, and I believe in money. They are real dollars. They are directly from the United States. "

Chinese translation:

Real dollar bills

An old woman from China went to the United States to visit her daughter. Soon after she came back, she went to the bank to deposit the dollars her daughter gave her. At the bank counter, the bank clerk carefully checked every bill to see if it was fake. This made the old woman very impatient. Finally, she couldn't help saying, "Trust me, sir, and please trust these bills, too. These are real dollars, brought directly from the United States. "

He won

Tommy: Johnny, how is your little brother? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.

Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?

Johnny: We played a game to see who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

He won

Tom: Johnny, how is your little brother?

Johnny: He is ill in bed. He's hurt.

Tom: That's too bad. What happened?

Johnny: We played a game to see who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.

I have his ears in my pocket.

Ivan came home with a bloody nose. His mother asked, "What happened?"

"A child bit me," Ivan replied.

"Can you recognize him if you see him again?" His mother asked.

"I know where he is," Ivan said. "His ears are in my pocket."

His ear is in my pocket.

Ivan came home with a nosebleed. His mother asked, "What's the matter?"

"A boy bit me," Ivan said.

"Can you recognize him when you see him again?" Mom asked.

"I can recognize him wherever he goes," Ivan said. "His ears are still in my pocket."

A good boy.

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You are a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old woman? "

"She is a candy seller."

Good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he replied. "You are such a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why are you so interested in that old lady? "

"She sells sweets."

drink

One day, a father and his little son came home. At this age, boys are interested in all kinds of things and always ask questions. Now, he asked, "Dad, what does the word' drunk' mean?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are two policemen standing there. If I think two policemen are four, then I am drunk. "

"But, Dad," said the boy, "there is only one policeman!"

Drunk

One day, the father came home with his youngest son. The child is at the age of being interested in everything and always has endless questions. He asked his father, "Dad, what does the word' drunk' mean?" "Well, son," the father replied, "Look, there are two policemen standing there. If I see that they are four, then I am drunk. " "But, Dad," said the child, "there is only one policeman there!"

treat cordially

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest because there was no cheese in the apple pie she served. The little boy of this family quietly left the room and went to Amo. When he came back, he took a piece of cheese and put it on the guest's plate. The guest smiled, put the cheese in his mouth and said, "Son, your eyes are definitely better than your mother's. Where did you find the cheese? " "In the rat trap, sir," the boy replied.

Hospitality

The hostess apologized to the guests because there was no cheese at home when they ate apple pie. The little boy in this family left home quietly. After a while, he returned to his room with a piece of cheese and put it on the guest's plate. The guest smiled and put the cheese in his mouth and said, "Son, your eyes are just better than your mother's. Where did you find the cheese? " "On the mousetrap, sir." The little boy said.

English jokes

Last Friday, I wore an Adidas dress to play ball. An American saw it and laughed at me and said, "Really!

Do you know what this means? It means I dream about sex all day. I've been thinking about it all day

Sex, abbreviated as Adidas) "I'm surprised how he reacted so quickly. When Lenovo was so rich, he was there.

An American helped me out. He said that there is a famous Korn choir, and one of their signature songs is

A.D.I.D.A.S (Dreaming about sex all day) So, this story is familiar to many Americans.

Can be detailed! It's your turn to make fun of America next time.

A man went to church and started talking to God. He said, "God, what is a million dollars to you?" God said, "a penny", and then the man said, "God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "One second", and then the man said, "God, can I have a penny?" God said "at once"

A man walks into a church and talks to God. He asked, "Lord, what does a million dollars mean to you?" God replied, "A penny." The man asked, "What's more, are you tired?" God said, "One second." Finally, the man asked, "God, can I have a penny?" God replied, "Right away."

1, two bills

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, and the other is a sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow, and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

Two birds

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a sparrow. Who can point out which is the swallow and which is the sparrow?

Student: I can't point it out, but I know the answer

Teacher: Please talk about it.

Student: The sparrow is next to the swallow, and the swallow is next to the sparrow.

2. Fishing nets

"Can you tell me what fishing nets are made of, Ann?"

"Many small holes tied together with ropes," the little girl replied.

fishnet

"Ann, can you tell me what the fishing net is made of?" The teacher asked.

"Fishing nets are made of many small holes tied together with ropes," the little girl replied.

3. New teacher

George came back from school on September 1st.

"George, what do you think of your new teacher?" His mother asked.

"Mom, I don't like her because she said that three plus three equals six, and then she said that two plus four equals six ..."

New teacher

On September 1 day, George came home from school.

George, do you like your new teacher? Mom asked.

"Mom, I don't like it, because she said that three plus three equals six, and later she said that two plus four equals six."

4. Physical examination

In a physics exam, Nick finished the first question quickly, while his classmates were still thinking hard.

The question is: when it thunders, why do we see lightning first and then hear thunder?

Nick's answer is: because our eyes are in front of our ears.

Physics examination

In a physics exam, while the students were still thinking hard, Nick quickly answered the first question.

The question is: Why do we always see the lightning first and then hear the thunder when it thunders?

Nick's answer is: because the eyes are in front and the ears are behind.

Jim's history exam

Uncle: How did Jim do in his history exam?

Mother: Oh, it's not good at all, but it's not his fault. They asked him.

What happened before the poor boy was born.

Jim's history exam

Uncle: How did Jim do in his history exam?

Mother: Oh, that's terrible. But then again, I can't blame him. Hey, they asked so many questions.

Before the poor child was born.

Mrs. Brown: Oh, dear, I have lost my beloved dog!

Mrs Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My little dog can't read.

My dog can't read

Mrs. Brown: Oh,

Honey, I lost my precious puppy!

Mrs Smith: But you should put an advertisement in the newspaper!

Mrs. Brown: It's no use. My puppy can't read. "

Good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "How do you deal with it?

The money I gave you yesterday? "

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.

"You are a good boy," mother said proudly. "This is two cents.

More. But why are you so interested in that old woman? "

"She is a candy seller."

Good boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.

"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"

"I gave it to a poor old woman," he replied.

"You are such a good boy," mother said proudly. "Give you two cents. But why did you treat the old man?

Is your wife so interested? "

"She sells sweets."

Perfect son.

I have a perfect son.

Does he smoke?

No, he didn't.

Does he drink whisky?

No, he didn't.

Did he ever come home late?

No, he didn't.

I think you really have a perfect son. How old is he?

He will be six months old next Wednesday.

Perfect son

I have a perfect son.

Does he smoke?

A: No.

Does he drink whisky?

A: No.

Will he come home late?

A: No.

I think you have a perfect son. How old is he?

It will be six months by next Wednesday.