Seek the oldest and most classic jokes! ! ! Pray for the great gods.

Two frogs fell in love. After they got married, they gave birth to a clam. When the male frog saw this, he was furious and said, bitch, what's the matter? The mother frog cried and said, Dad, I had plastic surgery before I met you. Xiao Lv asked the old donkey: Why do we eat hay every day? The old donkey sighed: We can't compete with others. We eat by running errands, while others eat by their breasts! Ducks and crabs race to the finish line together, and it is difficult to tell the winner. The referee said, why don't you have scissors, stones and cloth? Duck is furious: Shit, are you calculating me? When I make cloth, he always uses scissors. The dog said to the bear, marry me and you will be happy. The bear said, I won't marry. If I marry you, I will only have a bear. If I marry a cat, I will have a panda. That would be noble! The old turtle molested the mussel and was bitten. The old turtle dragged the mussels back and forth reluctantly. The frog saw it and said enviously, dear, Brother Tortoise has grown up and has a briefcase in and out. Bees chase butterflies, but butterflies marry snails. The bee doesn't understand: where is he better than me? Butterfly replied: people at least have their own house, unlike you who live in a dormitory. Classic joke 1. A pig said to another pig, "People say we are pigs, let's break up!" " 2. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight-at the graduation job fair, someone said to him, "Sorry, buddy, you blocked my cell phone signal ~" 3. Editor: You want to write a miniature martial arts novel, which not only breaks the secular ethics, but also contains many years of grievances between Jianghu sects. At the same time, the plot is still very suspense, and there are still many blood and tears to shed. The next day, there were only ten words in the full text: bald donkey! How dare you rob the teacher of originality ~ 4. A freshman got his bag when he got off the train in Harbin. Frustrated, I saw someone waving to him not far away. By the time he got there, the man had disappeared, leaving only the wallet he had just pulled out on the ground. Freshmen hurriedly opened it and found that besides money, ID cards, bank cards, especially freshman registration cards, and other things were still there. There was a line of chalk on the ground next to it: Although life is difficult, thieves also have a way! When I went shopping, I found a shop full of all kinds of clothes. On the glass at the door, there are stickers: big reward for opening a shop, high-grade suit 30 yuan, shirt 5 yuan. I am inexplicably happy: I finally caught up with such a good thing! So I rushed in, and I looked up at the moment I entered the door: dry cleaner! 6. I went to school to get my diploma today. When I was excited, I grabbed a passing buddy and asked, "Hey, what's the name of this school again?" The buddy gave me a hard look and said, "How should I know? I am only a freshman! " "7. After a hard and busy day, I always have a little expectation when I go back to my nest to open the door every night-suddenly a man jumps out from behind the door and smiles and covers my eyes. Of course, it's impossible. If there is, it may be a thief! ~ 8. At the beginning of freshman year, a buddy came to our dormitory with his luggage on his back. He asked the boss who slept in the lower berth: "No one lives in your upper berth, right? "The boss didn't care in a daze and casually replied," No! "Hearing this, the elder brothers tried their best to throw a big bag of luggage on the upper berth-as a result, the upper berth didn't even have a bed board! 9. One day, a man met God ... God suddenly showed great kindness and planned to give him a wish ... God asked ... Do you have any wishes ... The man thought about it ... I heard that cats have nine lives ... Please give me nine lives ... God said ... Your wish came true ... One day, this man was idle and bored ... He wanted to say death. ..