Joke bird Henan dialect joke

1, Wu Wang's grandson goes to school in the county and is anxious to rent a house. A familiar (Fu) person said one, and he quickly read it. Unfortunately, the master is not here, and the old man is at home. After asking about the room, he thought it was appropriate to rent a monster, so he asked, "Does the old gentleman pay quarterly?" Or' monthly payment'? "Hearing this, the old man trembled all over:" What stepfather and father-in-law? I'm his real father! "

2. After graduating from Sun Ba University, I went to a foreign-funded enterprise in Shanghai to take an examination of white-collar workers. As soon as he sat down, he was asked to speak English.

He was stunned (he didn't understand) and then said, "Don't (white) speak (fuo) Shanghainese. My home is Ningning! "

There is a serious emotion in front of my brain in the darkness of night, so I don't want to live with her until I can't find it. If God can tell me to give it to her again, I will do it together [,I will get her a bunch of things and shout at her throat-I love it! You won't give me this. I don't think I can play ball for ten thousand years.

A Henan student is studying vocal music in Beijing, and the teacher teaches singing: "Sun, my great mother, you rise from the east and fall from the west every day! "I can't learn after teaching for a long time, but the teacher patiently taught me about sexual knowledge, and the students quit, muttering," How uncomfortable it is to call this, it can make people die! " Then he howled, "The sun is shining! Oh, my mother, on holidays (every day), I eat up the east riddle N (from the east) and suddenly put down the west riddle N (from the west). Do you make me panic? "

5.a (the quarreling party) pointed to B (the other party) and said, "What do you want? ! "

Otsuichi pinched his waist and said, "You can do whatever you want? ! "

C (the old man who stopped the fight) screamed, "What do you want?" ! "Both parties fell silent and walked away in panic.

Ding (a foreigner) is puzzled: "It's all' Zhazha'. Why is the old man so embarrassed? "

6. Henan people go to Beijing to buy cloth. Henan people asked the shop assistant, "How tender is this cloth?" ?

The salesman was puzzled, and the Henan people said: Hard work is uneven.

The salesman was puzzled when he threw it. Henan people are angry and say, why are you so tender and so confused? You're not getting me a little cow.

In the 1970s, there was a boiler room where someone boiled water. There is a dialogue between a water bearer and a boiler:

A: How are you, Old X?

B: Fuck!

A: How about Old X?

B: Get out!

8. What do you have?

B: a broken cotton-padded jacket.

What's the matter with you?

B: Lice bites.

A: No?

B: small eyes.

Why didn't you hang yourself?

B: the rope is broken.

Why didn't you drive into the wall?

The wall is crooked.

9. There are two birds on the branch. Mother bird said, "Ge Yiren, go aside and estimate the communication and dry my hair."

The male bird said, "Look at your poor bamboo. If you do it, you can't beat the cow! " The shoes are alive and alive! "

10, this night (yer's day), Tiger Lamb N asked Tiger: "At noon, I put a riddle at the foot of the mountain ∽ (caught) a (yo) person, and his taste was different from the original (before)."

The big tiger asked, "How does it taste?"

Tiger Lamb N said: "Different smells: the upper half (upper half) is sour, and the lower half (lower half) stinks. I don't know who it is? "

Great Tiger said, "That is definitely a scholar."